Topic name says for itself, but I need to elaborate that a bit more as I need some encouragement.
I peaked today and yesterday too and it escalated to relapse. I am happy that it did as I peaked and it would not be clean for me in future, but also I am sad as I relapsed.
IMHO here is why:
I was not able to do exercise because of back pain so I replaced it with hiking as this is fine for me, but unluckilly this is not enough for me and I thought that I am fine. So I need to exercise more ot stay the f*ck away from PC.
I uninstalled almost all games, left only that which I play with my colleagues to blow some steam off during covid times. We played yesterday for almost 8 hours and I think that was also triggerring. So I need to turn off PC right after we quit playing.
I stopped using FB and IG (IG only for buissness), but still ads and payed promo everywhere. So I should keep it at minimum.
I am using dating apps, as in these times is pretty hard to socialize and meet women and that did not helped, but did not do that much harm (I think). So I sould stay away form that, but I have someone to talk with, which is nice, but IDK what should I do in reality. Keep it at minimum?
I thought that I would stay on track longer than 17 days as last streak was 52 days and before that 4 days on average.
I feel bad that I relapsed, but I know that I can handle this as something switched in my brain aproximately 2 months ago.
I feel empty, sad, numb, weak, angry, I want to cry and I dissapointed all of you and myself too, but i am ready to fight again.
So back to square one.