You are not invincible, I am sorry to say this but I can sense from your message that you are not trying to improve yourself in a good way instead you are using negative energy such as revenge, grudge, anger as a fuel to transform yourself.
I understand that you may not agree with me.
Why am I saying this? Because I can see it from your messages
My sister is also going with somewhat same issue, my brother in law is very aggressive and abusive, he does not understand feelings or emotions. I think that he has issues with p* and relapsing but I know he has also not consulted it with my sister either. He has two brilliant sons but he does not sees the goodness in them, abuses them and beats them sometimes due to which my sister quarrls with him.
I have tried to sort out things with them numerouse times politely but he never gets it, we had quarrel a few months back (i did not use any abusive words but still, I respected him a lot but now after knowing what he has done, I don’t respect him) as he did some inappropriate things which he should not have done.
I still hope things get better and they live happily.
I am not biased towards my sister. But due to his nature I think he is suffering with similar issue (of p* and relapsing) as I have also suffered with the same and I see a lot similarities between his and my behaviour. I have left this bad habits of p* and now I see the changes in myself and positivity but I remember my past mistakes and I always regret I was so imature and stuck in this habit and could not make the right choices for my life)
But one thing is clear that no matter how much deep he is in this habit, his actions cannot be justified. As a man we have to keep calm and see things clearly with all perspective it’s our duty to manage relations with our family and when someone does wrong, we have to let them know of their mistakes and also embrace our mistake and correct them, be a man and make right choices)
Life is not a game, we may lie to anyone but we cannot lie to our inner voice, it haunts us sooner or later.
I am not lecturing you but I am telling you this because i wish I could make things better between them, I don’t want that to happen with you and your beautiful family.
We have to see good in things not just always complain.
I can complain about his behaviour to my father but I don’t want to take things to him as he has completed a lot of responsiblities so I don’t want to bother him. If I tell my father about this, he will crush my brother in laws whole family as he has all the money and power But I don’t want to take things that far as I mentioned above, but if it does not get sorted soon, I rather believe it will be the last resort.
But at the same time I want my brother in law and sister to live happily and they start understanding and respecting each other more