Hunting Eagle's Diary [M 38]

Journal
62

Day 29/90

Jaya! I’m up!

It’s time for a Champion!
It’s time to be Dynamic.

Some people are into nofap for the rewards.
But in my opinion, this is not a strong enough thing to anchor your resolve on.

Many go for the rewards and high streaks and give-up on the way (for it takes time its not instant like that fake pleasure shit called ■■■■) or fall back in ■■■■ after a while after the 90 days like pigeons coming in and out of their cage never truly free.

the rewards take time, and a ■■■■ addict is habituated to quick gratification so most people that anchor themselves on the rewards of no fap do not truly make it.
I dare to say 75% or more that go for rewards do not make it or fall back after a while in the vice.

I anchor my resolve on freedom to break free from this habit or addiction.
to have control over my mind and actions and not to yield to a screen and some fake virtual shit. I’m stronger than that.

It’s a vice a pile of shit coated in sweeteners and fake pleasure. a poison that slows your mind, weakens masculine drive, and courage.
and anchor on the desire to do good to others, to not promote this shit industry that is a blood sucking machine thriving on pain of the weak, on lies and fake pleasure shit.

I’m not a domesticated pigeon fed by “masters” fattened to be eaten or to do errands for them. I am an eagle flying high free and courageus.

image

2 Likes
63

day 30/90

Here we are 30 days one month!
I am happy my mind feels fresh.

I was thinking of day 30 since day 27. how it coincides with Friday the weekend.
and something in me was saying great we should celebrate. we can relax and yield.

Thats old attitude of yielding of running to that bs that weak habit of leaving things halfway.

Wel, I am not going to do it.
I was expecting this, and I crushed it like i did all these days.
If it shows up tonight it will be the same treatment my word stands firm.

Not going to arguing with myself I made the choice I stick to my word that’s it.

I said no, already decided it.
No need for the drama, no PMO in barebones is nothing but a choice,
Nothing more than a choice but backed by resolve.

The uncertain yield. But I know what I want: Freedom.
and ain’t falling for that shit that slow poison again.

I know what it is, and I am not going back to fill my brain with sewage water again through my eyes.
I am stronger I always was but I let that bullshot weaken my drive.
not anymore.

I fan the flame of discipline with discipline.

fuck that bullshot attitude of celebrating.
I am happy of course!

but celebration is when I reach the finish line not half or a third way.

I must keep my mentality, attitude and discipline strong.
everything comes from inside i do not need outside to feel happy alcohol ect…
I am happy from within by choice and from how far I am going, and from my achievements no matter how small they grow into a big flame thanks to lord God.

60 days left.
60 days with a clean mind free of fake naked random people films.

Then I will celebrate forever free from the poison of ■■■■.

talk time is over.
Time to meditate.

2 Likes
64

Dat 31/90

Some urges but I put them in their place.
No need for the drama, no PMO in barebones is nothing but a choice,
its not a monster or some huge enemy, I am the monster I am on top of that weak crap impulse.

It’s just a choice and I stick to mine with discipline.

it’s just a habit or vice, a can of sewage water coated in fake pleasure.

I am stronger than any habit especially a false bs that weakens me.
I wont watch that sugar coated shit it and let it weaken my drive.

lets go Saturday is for cleaning.
I fan the flame of discipline with discipline.
burning away all laziness with vigor and purpose.

image
I have no enemies.

2 Likes
65

Thanks be to God :innocent: Awesome stuff bro! It’s motivating to read.

2 Likes
66

Glory to God.

Lets Go Brother,
We are leaving this thing for good.

We are powerful.

2 Likes
67

Amen. God has given us free will to choose :dove:

2 Likes
68

Day 32/90

Its Sunday morning.

Every Sunday I wakeup what later, but its planned not forced by sleep or laziness.
I was just relaxing listening to the rain falling just now.

Due to the digital world and hesitation,not full commitment and plain laziness many mask no PMO as something very difficult as a monster or the devil or something.

it’s a bs excuse for when you give in you can feel little better. (Winning: booo hooo its out of my control… it was the devil.)

Stop with the drama!
Stay in the present.
It’s just a habit and we are stronger than it if we choose to.
Stop running and stand firm!

The digital world is easy, its living in the present that matters.

Talk time is over.
I’m leaving my room, time to prepare a good breakfast.
.
Since this journey I have been diminishing my time on the laptop and other digital bs distractions.
Going to visit my aunt n cousins, spend time with them n see what I can help her with.
The strong can help others, the strong live in the present.

I keep fanning the flame of discipline with discipline.

Yesterday at my aunts was also great cleaned the garden for her and saw my young cousins play and the geese and chickens, they cooked and gave me lunch.
It was really nice I will be visiting them more often there is alot of things I can help them with.
its feels good to help without expecting return.

2 Likes
69

Day 33/90

I am up and ready to crush my day.
this time 15 min before, ready to go to work. buttoned up and sharp (body and mind).
shoes and uniform where clean and ready since yesterday.

its feels so good to be organized.

Stop running from the real world nofap is just a choice reaffirm it every day.

Had a light urge to watch again this morning but I crushed it took my bath and flushed my mind with meditation.
The urge is very weak, but it still does not give-up.
Every once in a few days it comes in the morning or at night.
its a habit so its suppose to keep recurring until erased with force of will.

But my word stands firm, my word is law.

Ironically this habit has more guts and manliness than most “men” nowadays.
Those that yield and cry at the first push, instead of fighting back.

the urge is not an enemy, but no matter how weak it fights back eager for warrior’s death, and I will give it to him.

I have no enemies.

no pmo is just a choice and I have made mine.
I have chosen for freedom over fake pleasure that weakens my drive.

1 Like
70

Nighttime almost time to sleep.

No more urges except the weak one I smashed in the morning today.
The more I resist the more the habit is erased of course. it’s just in his last trues.
what a wonderful system God has given to us.
But we used it to become slaves to pleasure by feeding our mind with useless trash.

I respect the power of habits; it keeps coming even in weakened state. that’s tenacity.

I have no enemies. I visualize the weakened vice telling me:

■■■■: Finally, you have awakened Strong Man! Finally, you are worthy opponent!
■■■■: Defeat me! Surpass me Do not give in! crush me and give me a warrior’s death.

That is exactly what I will do to it in 57 more days.

I have been checking the forum.
Some people talk about having hope.
Hope is good of course but they are not serious and use hope as an excuse.

a hollow hope without the weight of resolve and faith its nothing.
When the urge comes, they offer no resistance.

Don’t not sit and hope, you will quit PMO magically one day!

Work and make it happen.

1 Like
71

Day 34/90

Checking in evening time today.
not much to say.
I think there will be not much to say during the remaining days.
I have my routine and activities set for the whole week.
It’s just a matter of Iron resolve and discipline to freedom over fake pleasure.

The urge is light very light.
The habit is close to die, no peeking Iron discipline.

I am no way trading 30 + days for 4 seconds of fleeting fake pleasure that fills my mind with sewage water and weakens my drive.

It’s too valuable, never without a fight!

56 days to go.
I am in this for Freedom :pray:

One thing I noticed am feeling very fierce these days, my drive is very high.

I pray lord help me to be strong but also remain humble, merciful and gentle with others.
never arrogant.

72

Day 35/90

The less ■■■■ you watch the more clear you think.

Meditation opservation:

The digital world is full of lies and manipulation.
it’s an illusion and not what it is.
Video edits photo edits.

Especially I have noticed the abrupt cuts they do in many facebook aswel as youtube videos.
The abruptly stop the smooth video interaction and jump or add something else another i amge or scene in it.
not once but several times in that same video.

In real world that is not possible it’s a smooth interaction you can start process and finish when you want.
I can’t be freaking looking at a meadow with cows and within one second it changes to a beach scene and then again suddenly something else. where is the transition?

its ok a few times in action movies on big screen, it adds value to the movie and its not too much.

But so many cuts too often in a short 4 minute videos are starting to become a nuisance.
I felt it as a friend showed me a facebook video yesterday.
It irritated me a little.

it’s like they are trying to force me to watch what they want. suddenly stopping and popping a random image again.
that’s why i like the old movies they had less video quality but had more content and had more normal smooth transition.

Since I have left ■■■■ and decreased my time on the internet I don’t like that.

I want to watch what I want and stop when I want. never force fed.

I have decreased my video watching to about 1.15 hour ± a day(just like my grand parents they never watched too much tv they were always busy in real life) or only music a literally and on weekends I go la bit more after my chores are done.

I live in the real world and decide for myself. not in fantasy world drugged by fake virtual images and manipulated shit, all staged.

they want us to spend most of our time online baited by pleasure.

btw YouTube has started to force adds now, if you use add block you can’t watch, else go for youtube premium.

To those still on ■■■■ sites, it won’t be long before the ■■■■ sites also do it.

Mofo’s want us to spend our time in their virtual internet bulshit forced to watch adds on top of it every few minutes while our real life rots away.

I am not accepting it. I have control of my life.

Meditation has been helping me a lot I think it has accelerated my progress.

to work on being powerful.
Stop selling your freedom and drive for a few fleeting seconds of pleasure.

Talk time is over.
Time to flush fresh water in my brain(meditation) removing all residue of the shit of ■■■■.

1 Like
73

Day 36/90

many people overlook will.

To stop a habit, you need some effort of will.
to start you need will too, motivation is just a spark.

I stick to discipline.
I respect the discipline.
the strong are disciplined and resolved.

You do not really need motivation when discipline is applied.
Make a choice and do it.
Discipline can ignite and keep the fire going. it’s better than motivation.

1 Like
74

Day 37/90

no pmo is about remembering.
Remember what you said yesterday, what you a have been saying for so long each time you sold your masculine drive for a can of sugar-coated sewage shit water.

If you want to stop quit whining like a soy boy!
just stick to your word!

1 Like
75

Night 37

I saw a Netflix movie and it had several explicit scenes.
Got hard and the urge tried to flex on me just now as the movie finished.

But I am not going to pour that sewage poison in my brain through my eyes.
I stick to my word. I am on top. and going to sleep now.

Just writing to add extra force to my punch.
WHAMM! Just caved that weak urges face in now with my resolve.

image

I am in control of my actions. not some virtual images on a screen period.

76

Day 38/90

Saturday morning.

Back on track, slacked some discipline and instead of doing calisthenics watching Netflix yesterday and got confronted with the weakening urge suddenly tying to flex on me.

I feel no urges this morning, simply the lunging memory of yesterday.
I put that " salesperson" back in its place with a punch and went to sleep.
snake oil rather sewage shit ■■■■ oil. trying to sell me bulshit fake pleasure in exchange of my drive to fight and freedom?

I am really happy with this diary.
Great help to keep on track and vent out yourself.

Now talk time is over.
Time to be dynamic.
Weekend is for cleaning.

Fanning the flame of discipline with discipline.

1 Like
77

Many people seem to yield and “relapse”.
then they post in the forum, about quitting or its futile ect…
they feel shame.

My question is: for whom are you doing this?
Is it for you? or for readers? is it your life or not?

Its ok to vent yourself, but after a certain moment it’s enough!

Then it’s not venting to keep going, it’s just a new habit.

Stop saying you will quit to get a pat on your back and then repeat the cycle.
to get back to the same old you
It’s time to make it happen time to be dynamic.

I am on day 38 now.
If I end up yielding to the habit now, I will have no shame, I will go harder again.

How can I be ashamed? I am serious in this and doing everything I can to stick to my routine and away from that virtual shit.
If you are doing your best to achieve something, what is there to lament? many great people failed thousand of times in the beginning and were laughed at or called crazy ect… but they did not care or give-up they kept pushing! for they knew what they wanted.
What is better than freedom? (that fake pleasure definitely not!)

I can only be ashamed if I purposely gave in or were doing it half-earthed.
If I went down without fighting.

If you are building a house, you must spend your energy in building it.

Jerking of to ■■■■ that makes you feel all those negative emotions such as depression and low self-esteem , low energy ect… for a few fleeting seconds of pleasure. You are filling your brain with sewage water through your eyes, how else do you expect to feel?

It weakens your drive to such a degree many think they are under the control of the devil or something. but that is a lie they tell themselves due to low self-esteem and laziness to put in the work.

The blame game it’s never our fault it’s the devil or something else …

Yeah right, He turned the ■■■■ video, pulled down your pants grabbed your hand and forced you to jerkoff at gun point.

It’s you who sold yourself to that pleasure when the habit showed up.
Realize this and you will gain strength to stop the habit. it’s in your own hands not an evil spirit and no one else!

Shake it off and start again. Fully committed not to fail. a personal vow for yourself. and do the things that will set you free.

Stop living Infront of a screen, Start living in the real world right NOW.
Stop blaming others, spirits or any anything for a habit you formed in your mind.

We formed it, we can destroy it at any moment. is a choice.

Stick to your word and discipline that is the way to go.

Do it to quit for good. not for some fleeting benefits.
Most’s ■■■■ addicts (I dare to say 80%+) that go for benefits don’t make it or fall back shortly.
for they quit when the days go by, and no benefits (or not the one’s they have been told) are seen they sell for the instant shit pleasure.
Go for freedom,
We were not born a slave; we were born free! why live as one? Whining and being depressed every day?
Break free!

Many people have quit harder shit, true physical addictions like cocaine and heroin.

Don’t you dare think that the habit of watching a screen with some fake images is harder to quit than drug addiction.

2 Likes
78

Day 39

Sunday morning time for laundry and then going to the beach.
a very weak urge this morning but I squashed it as I rose to type with my powerful resolve fed by almost 40 days of not watching filling my mind with that sugar coated fake sewage shit(■■■■).

meditation:
You took a decision you said. yes?
Then why are you looking back? why are you running back? to your old self?
why do you let a weak habit take over?

Stand firm if you resolved to change!

Stop looking for tricks and things to blame for your lack of resolve for your weak dedication and willpower.
Discipline face it head one!

Or haven’t you realized after 1000 of times that it’s a can sewage water?
have you forgotten how shit you felt after pouring it in your brain?

And do it for others too, stop feeding the ■■■■ industry that is a bloodsucking machine to turn people into submissive cowards.

Stand to your word. and live in the real world.

This world is for the strong. and we are stronger than some fake virtual images.

talk time over:
I am eager to finish laundry so I can go to the beach I have 1 hour

2 Likes
79

Good reading, time well spent here on the forum :sunglasses::+1:

Sometimes reading a post like this is enough to remind oneself.

2 Likes
80

Went to the beach and felt great in the cool waters.
Swam for a bout 40 minutes full and then came to rest under the shade of the umbrella benches.

Saw some woman in bikini’s but I kept controlled. just enjoyed the sight of them.
Of real woman. real bodies some a little chubby or skinny but natural.

Not those silicone infused covered in makeup woman in ■■■■.

Similarly, I’m a real man.
real body, calisthenics was enough to give me a fit weight musculature not fat nor overly muscular.

Not an arrogant drugged 6 pack covered in tattoos body of ■■■■ and the so-called heroes of tv serials and modern movies. that believe appearance is everything.

Away from the illusion of virtual world where almost everything is fake and staged cut and photos shop to look perfect.

I saw some fish, I am thinking of buying some snorkeling gear to float and see more of the reefs.

This days on nofap allowed me to see the truth to enjoy the beauty of the real world.
to not compare with none to be myself I am striving to improve every day.

but nofap is an anchor to not get carried away by the online shit.
to use it but not be used by it. and to not use others either.

I also had a mango pineapple juice and enjoyed some time before coming home now.
I feel good I feel fresh this is life.

1 Like
81

Glad brother, records of my days and meditations can help others.

I am really striving to be my best daily.
Many days without watching that fake crap and doing productive things has opened my mind.
Thanks to God Almighty.

I still remember the part you said God give us free will.
It helps me a lot.

1 Like