Day 4/90
Another night the addict came rattling at my door, but I send it away.
The urge was real, but my will was stronger.
The doors of my fort(mind) are reinforced steel I won’t let those images penetrate it anymore at their own whim.
Another step forward another day I feel happy, I choose to not waste more time with that Fake Bullshit anymore.
Day 5/90
The weekend is here, and my mind feels great.
The addict came again in the night, but my No was firm.
Calisthenics gets my blood pumping and fatigue opens the door to sleep afterwards.
This weekend i have some outdoor activities sorted out.
Looking forward for a ■■■■ free weekend
day 6/90
Saturday time for house chores and exercise.
day 7/90
I got exited by a video add got hard and went to watch a video for some minutes… I almost fapped too.
But then I remembered my resolved and pulled away and closed the shit.
Facebook and other apps with reel formats are real traps you keep scrolling in a fucking loop and the shit people post overstimulates your brain.
Almost nude pictures and videos for random strangers to watch i do not get why people are so eager for attention.
Any way gonna take a break from facebook and instagram for the 90 days.
Gonna use only whatsapp to comunicate with family and close friends.
I was saved by sheer willpower but I am not going to risk getting triggered again by random strangers on those sites.
Know yourself and your strength and avoid the triggers.
This is day 7 and I am learning more and more of myself and the real world.
No matter what, I am not going to stop!
7 in 83 to go!
Keep going Eagle you are an inspiration for many
Day 8/90
Urges came and they went like the tides on a beach.
nothing new to report.
Day 9/90
Another day of Hostilities.
But another day of victory also having not watched ■■■■.
I seem to have most thing set and ready.
A daily program for morning and evening.
Its just a matter of sticking to my word for 81 more days.
this days on nofap has made me realize something.
The online world is a world full of distractions.
They simply prey on people that don’t know what to do with their time.
amplifying the things and making our minds hooked to it.
When you realize the addiction has been formed.
That’s what they try to do make us addicted to via what we see through a screen.
Some of us will become lethargic idiots unable to think or even get out of bed without a reward or stimuli.
Others will become a mass of nerves that start but never finish what we start (if you have like 30 tabs open at a time you know what I mean.
or in between those.
But it’s not too late, we can fight our way back people.
Rekindle your fighting spirit!
Day 10/90
some meditations:
Previously you had to go to a brothel quick sex.
There were obstacles:
Distance, time of day, you need to have money for the deeds, shame, need to watch out not to be seen.
Nowadays with Pornography there is no such thing:
Anytime any moment, no limit of woman of any race color or body type, and no limit of sex acts and super discrete in your house or anywhere. (but the sad reality is it is fake!)
But once your mind gets hooked to that shit it will form the habit of least resistance in everything you do.
Say goodbye to your drive to fight to achieve things.
even basic things like cleanliness are a hassle and done at bare minimum or below standards.
Say goodbye to your courage and boldness as a man and welcome so called social anxiety and cowardice.
God damn they even put a name on simple negative states of mind that can be easily corrected by giving up trash and starting to become active.
Say goodbye to focus and welcome easily distracted.
Pathetic, docile slaves of emotions that is what ■■■■ creates in men.
Do not believe that it can be done effortless of in phases or slowly by edging…
Fuck that coward weak attitude.
Face it head on! no watching ■■■■ end of discussion.
stand and fight.
Effort of will is the best way for will grows stronger when the resolve to quit is strong!
Good Going with your streak Sir !! Keep moving. As Winston Churchill said " If you are going through hell , Keep going "
Wel what do you know, I ended up browsing and watching ■■■■ for about 40 minutes just now.
I even downloaded 4 films. shit happened so fast especially with high speed internet nowadays.
just deleted the fucking videos now.
I didn’t fap or jerk off, but I feel kind of disappointed.
I have started this journey for No Porno watching no Masturbation or Orgasm.
I thought I did not Jerk off I still watched that shit for more than 40 min.
I can still remember part of the fucking images in my mind.
I will still restart my counter.
I know if I don’t punish myself and let it slip it will happen again and next time, I might not restrain myself and full blow my load on a higher streak.
It’s not about just reaching 90 days for me.
It’s about a clean reboot for me.
Those 90 days must be of quality else no doubt some go right back to porno after the 90 days. i
It’s the journey not the destination that leads to growth.
If I happen to accidentally watch a naked woman on a screen for 1 or 2 minutes or so is something else, but this was unacceptable.
I have to be strict and organized with myself this is the only way to let that shit off for good.
So here I go back to day 1.
Good thing is this did not erase the progress I have made. just a minor slip or setback.
a necessary sacrifice 10 days in the calendar back. and a reminder for me of the value of time.
day 1/90
Back home from work.
Time for calisthenics but first I will do cleaning for 30 min.
cleaning and calisthenics done had my bath.
Now time to eat and read romance of 3 kingdoms.
Alright time to sleep. don’t feel any urge today.
day 2/90
I am up!
Time for action to be a better man
Time for self-discipline.
Reached home, gonna wash my car had some birds shat pretty badly on it.
Felt irritated but on the positive side it remind me of what ■■■■ does to our life.
A man that watches ■■■■ is like a great sports car with bird shit on it.
Alright my car is clean from that shit those them birds dropped.
Now is time for calisthenics leg workout time to push it.
day 3/90
I am up!
first thing weekend is for cleaning!
My arms feel sore from this week workout.
Its nighttime now.
But the fucking urge just came from nowhere cackling in my ear and my groin.
But I said silence I made my decision, and I will stick to my word.
I chose not to watch that fake shit again.
writing on this site is a great help.
Going to sleep now, till tomorrow.
day 4/90
Nothing to particular to report
Going to start my day with a good breakfast and laundry.
day 5/90
going to sleep for the day all quit on the western front.
day 6/90
Some strong urges in the morning, but I was stronger and brushed them off.
None fucking bosses me around! I’m my own boss.
Time for calisthenics!
Day 7/90.
In office having lunch.
Had a few weak urges this morning, but I keep choosing for my resolve.
These damn urges are like salesmen or invasive pests. but we must remember that we are the boss.
None can make us do anything but ourselves.
Day 8/90
I ended up waking late today and came to work a bit late.
Cause I felt like staying longer in bed and the time did not care for those weak feelings.
It happened a on and off few times already and I won’t tolerate it anymore.
I must solidify my sleep and wakeup time in my routine.
Tomorow morning I will push to stand up by 4.30 am.
Just like time did not care for my feelings, will not care and force myself up.
Now I think of it, time is a representation of God’s power.
no matter who you are or what excuses you bring, it does not care, it will not stop and go on with its business you can’t manipulate or push it around.
Same way no matter what excuses my feeling try to bring in the morning I must get up at the accorded time, that is my duty not to listen or bring excuses for my lack off will or resolve.
else I’ am auto defeating myself and not acting like a man of his word.
It’s all about resolve and sticking to my word or discipline.
day 9/90
I am up and on time.
it’s time for action.
fuck idleness, this world is for action.
I did it.
I woke up on time at 4 am actually (It should have been 4.30 but did not wait for the 30 minutes it just got up and started my day.) and stayed up and did my routine with time to spare.
This was great from now one if I wake up before the alarm I will just get up and start.
sleep should be decreasing if you think of it.
the energy i would spend jerking of or staring at that fucking screen for hours is being saved.
I read semen production costs the body a lot of energy according to ayurveda.
so its just the vice or habit or vice of laziness or slot once I get that daitya killed through my discipline sleeping less will be great more time for real fun!
I made it to work also on time.
It feels great to see you are in before others.
But I don’t do it for them nor to compete with them. competing with others is low Caliber.
I do it for me! (it must come from within as my grandparents used to tell me) I have to be exemplary and maintain the warrior samurai or Kshatriya discipline. It has been always in my character, punctuality but the ■■■■ shit ruined it about some years ago. time to regain improve and solidify my “caballero” character.