Hubinho's Diary

Read “I relapsed” and got so scared. Then I realized you wrote that post over 4 months ago.
Got me.

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No excuses, I’m sorry brothers. I didn’t relapse, I wasted another day.

Yt showed me a video with old pc game. I had to try this game after many years. So I was playing and touching my dick(even though it’s not trigerring game. I just used one hand for playing and another one was free, I didn’t think about second hand). After some time my penis was hurting as after very long masturbation. I had to watch a movie and play something just not t think about pain. And here I am, late at night, did nothing whole day.

Tomorrow will be better for sure. I’m still waiting for response from my thesis advisor. He will go crazy about me meeting my deadlines. I must work hard.
And I must remember not to play any pc games in 2021. I just can’t due to things I do without thinking when playing. Maybe next year I’ll try.

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I wish I was more responsible. Deadlines for my thesis are getting close. I had problems to staart it yesterday. I started late, did a lot and finished very late. I laid down in bed and couldn’t sleep. I was so stressed, much job in front of me. So I woke up again and was working whole night. Then I went to church, took a nap and now I’m about to work again. I hope to finish today. I need to push to achieve it, but it’s possible.

Can’t way to finish. I will sleep, I will work out, I will study, I will meet people. I will live again.
What is good for today? Brain fog is out, my head isn’t that heavy. I’m just tired.

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Ok, I’m back. My thesis is finished, I guess. I mean I just sent it to the advisor. 15 minutes after deadline that we discussed. One minute later I found two wrong letters in the file. 2 letters out of 30 pages is not a big deal, I hope. But I should have done everything much earlier.

I couldn’t sleep last 3 nights. I was laying in the bed and couldn’t fall asleep knowing, that there’s still much work to do. Plus whole days in front of monitor aren’t helping. I feel like a zombie.

But at the same time, my head doesn’t feel so heavy as after relapse, there’s no brainfog. Plus there’s happiness in me. I do nofap, I do working for lots of hours recently and finished it(if advisor doesn’t send it back), I’m coming back to workout(I stopped to finish thesis), I have friends in this encouraging community, I feel beginning of relationship. I look on myself in the mirror and I see smile in my eyes. I love it.
So I’m going to bed now, then tidy up my room and then I will meet my friend or spend time with family. It’s time to celebrate coming back to life after thesis. I have 2-3 weeks before final exam, so that’s a lot of time :slight_smile:

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So another day of using benefits of nofap. Yesterday I had quality time with my family. Aunts and uncles visited us. I was taking part in conversations. Before this time I was too shy for that. It’s big step for me.

Today I was doing all the things I dreamed of when working on my thesis. I was mostly relaxing.
In the evening, advisor sent me list of things to change. I’m working over it now.

This is important year, it’s breakthrough.

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Happy to hear that you are making great improvements. We are together in this bro. This year ours!
Nothing in this world can take it away from us!

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Hello
I wasn’t posting recntly, as I was back in the dormitory. I don’t like writing on the phone.
I was in the dorm, with people still around, so there was totally no urges.
I’m really happy. I finished thesis, I’m self confident, I’m happy to meet people and I have birthday today.
I was going to bed very late recently. That’s the thing I’m gonna work on now. I can’t believe it. I’m not saying that I’m gonna work on beating pmo. It’s the first time in last few years. Streak isn’t big, it’s 20 now. I feel like it is 100.
Have a good day everyone, life is beautiful if you take it.

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Happy birthday brother. I hope that this streak continues forever and you achieve everything that you want in your life. All the best bro.

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Happy birthday bro… :grinning:

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Happy birthday :partying_face: :partying_face::partying_face::partying_face::partying_face::partying_face:

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Thank you brothers.

My life is so simple now. I feel very, very self confident, I know what I want from life. I found a girl. I learn programming and I’m sure I will get a job in 2-3 months. I finished my thesis, so there’s totally no stress now.

I had awesome birthday celebration with my friends and then with my family.

My worries are only like “I could be more productive today, but I went too late to bed”. I’m so sure that it’s my last streak ever. I was always thinking that I can’t share love if I don’t love myself. Now I do love myself. I wish you all find hapiness, find your greatness.

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Woah! Happy birthday!!!
So proud of you. I wish you the best!

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Today was bad day. I did nothing. Streak is growing, but there’s caution alert in my head.
From now I’m focusing 100% on my productivity. There are 3 days before defending my thesis. It’s perfect moment to be better.

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I relapsed. After 25 days.
I was the happiest ever during this streak. I want it back. Now I will do what I’m saying people to do. If only I avoid chaser effect, then streak gonna be big again.
I’m not losing hope. First time in my life I’m not shy. I finally succeed in my thesis and gonna defend my thesis tomorrow. I’m beginning relationship with nice girl. And if I keep working, I gonna find job in 2-3 months. All these things are still close. I can do it.

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Wow bro, yeah a lot of positive things are going on in Your life. Don’t take this relapse too seriously. Look at the improvements that you’ve made till now. You are doing really great. Don’t focus on streak too much. Focus on life. We are together in this :+1::+1::muscle::muscle:

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Day 0
Dreams come true. I’m now offically Engineer of Electronics. There’s one month of holiday in front of me. Time for hard work, so that I can finally find job in electronics.

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Congratulations, ur hard work paid off…

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Do you understand hindi?
I can tell you a great yt channel for learning programming.
Search for CodeWithharry

@PaperBoat he does not know hindi bro …

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Thank you brothers.
True, I don’t know hindi.

Day 1.
Last night I relapsed again. I feel shame that I dissapoint you. I was too easy on myself after defending thesis. Need to push and be cautious 24/7.
Today was a good day. Half of the day I was cleaning house and the other half I was chopping wood. Now sitting in my room with loud music on :slight_smile:
Despite 2 relapses I still have that feeling. Now as I was close to loosing it, I value it even more. The feeling of happiness, self confidence and being absolute sure about beating pmo this time.

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