How to deal with strong urges

Hi brothers

Can somebody guide me what to do in the situation when you have strong urges.
Your experiences, some good articles, or some to do list etc.
Please share


I would recommend taking deep breaths, as you inhale imagine the urge going up to your brain from the lower body. Then release it slowly as if the urge has spread out in the brain and been converted into an energy. Repeat it several times, it has helped me when I feel horny. Then go listen some of your favourite music or motivational stuff. You will be good in no time.
Try not to protect the urge , instead acknowledge it that it is bad for you and you should .

There is another breathing technique you can try


Hey bro, the biggest thing that has helped me to fight strong urges is mindfulness.

You’ll probably here quite a few guys on here talk about mindfulness being key to their success, as it was for me, because it is actually an amazing, yet unexpected tool for dealing with those nasty urges.

Now when someone usually mentions mindfulness, they think of meditation and the like, however that’s not the mindfulness process that helped me to get where I am now, although I should note it was for others. Everyone has different ways of getting to mindfulness, and I’d suggest that as you read the rest of my post that you think about some options that you might be willing to try.

In terms of what worked for me: journaling to attain mindfulness was the most useful tool for me in combating the urges to relapse. Essentially, what I would do is, whenever I would start to feel myself drawn to PMO, I would pull out my phone and open the notes app. And I would just start writing the thoughts that came into my head about relapsing. Basically, I was looking to find what the urge’s argument was.

I should note that pulling out your phone may seem counter-intuitive, but I chose my phone over paper because I can type faster and get out my phone faster than I can with pen and paper.

But anyway, after I found the urges arguments, I would write it down. What I mean by this, is that I have found that urges often come from unmet needs. However, since we as addicts have spent many years rewiring our brain to seek PMO whenever we feel bad about something (whether loneliness, low self-esteem, being tired, etc.), we don’t recognize those needs right away. Instead we just feel an urge to relapse because our brain says, “Oh I know what’s best for him, don’t even bother telling him about what he actually needs, just tell him he wants PMO.”

So urges tend to be these abstract, overwhelming feelings that we can’t understand, and therefore cannot fight. But when we start writing out what our thoughts are in the present moment that we are experiencing the urges, we put a name to a face. We see, “oh this urge is telling me that I should relapse because I will never be good enough, so I must feel crappy about myself and need to work on my self-esteem” or “My urges are telling me that it’s been a long day, why don’t I just relax and watch some P. But in reality, that must mean I just need to get some sleep, because I’m tired.”

It’s truly amazing, but when we start to recognize what our urges are actually saying, when we pull back the curtains, we see that they aren’t so scary and overwhelming after all. The unknown is the true enemy, what is known can always be conquered.

So going back to the exercise, I would first write what the urges are saying, and then I would counter argue by writing down my true beliefs and what I should do about it. This just solidifies in your brain what you want, because it is honestly hard to fight back when it’s all just in your head. I will do this back-and-forth journaling for as long as it takes for the urge to disappear, and nowadays it goes quite quickly, typically without me even having to write it down. And I always end my journals with what I am going to do about it, so as to make sure the urge doesn’t come back. Meaning, I deal with the root issue. So if I discover that I am tired, I write, “And I will now go to bed.” And then I go and do that.

This has been my lifesaver in times of urges and now I am on day 127 PMO clean. Of course, I have other strategies for elsewhere in my life, but that is just for the immediate urges.

If you’re interested in reading more about my strategies, I wrote them in depth in my 90 days clean post. Here is the link: 90 Days PMO Clean After 5.5 Years of Addiction

Now I also know that many brothers on here have found mindfulness via meditation very helpful, specifically using the app Headspace, which guides you through techniques and practices. I’m actually going to try it out this week for myself and see how it is. But that is another option for you as well.

If you have any questions man, feel free to ask. Any help you need, I am here :slightly_smiling_face:

Good luck bro!


just dont react but response to urges
becauses reaction always make things worse .


Nice post
I have been doing mindfulness for a while…Infact that has enabled me to differentiate urges from normal thoughts and actually identify the thoughts as separate from me…
But I have never written my urges down…I will definitely try this
Thanks mate u r a big help

  1. A concept of 4 D’s that is Distract, Delay, Deep breath and Drink water is there…but you should practice them before hand.
  2. Urges come in waves so we have to learn to surf them.If not initially handled they snow ball and increase in intensity
    A interesting concept
  3. More interesting thing I noticed since I joined the PMO group is that, During the first or second day of abstaining I get strong urges…I accidentally consumed high caffeinated energy drinks…and my urges had gone alltogether…I know this can’t be practiced in the long run…but this has helped me…My hypothesis is that these drinks have high caffeine which stimulate or thinking i.e conscious mind and make us more alert…urges are in the more in the subconscious mind…so might have helped…If anybody has similar experiences can share