How to control those lusty thoughts?


It’s been 1 month doing NoFap and following everything that it demands. But still got nightfalls. Ehh! That’s the another thing. :expressionless:

But this time after a clean streak of 31 days, suddenly or unconsciously I started getting those images and memories how I use to spend my days. :thinking:
It was like I’m watching it again, but no, never, I didn’t even thought of it during these days. I was very much busy with my daily routine. Then while going for tuition Classes I made a new female friend. She is cute, and you know the rest, how it feels when a guy sees an attracting girl :expressionless::expressionless:

After 5 days of chatting and spending some time with her. Started getting urges to propose her and make her my GF. And you know what? I did the same.:unamused::unamused:

She said we are just the good friends nothing more than that.:unamused::unamused: Ok I agree. But still, I’m not able to control myself. Whenever I see a girl, I start thinking and planning to make her my girlfriend.:unamused::expressionless:

Want to stop this… Please someone kindly suggest me to do in order to avoid this habit. :grimacing:

Thanks in advance :neutral_face::slightly_smiling_face:


It’s a hard topic and I’d like to read some advices on this as well. I used to have the same problem and I basically started to avoid women in all possible way. Because I felt like I want to have them, you know like owning them, to have them for me, for my use. And that is a terrible way to think about them. I think the root is in the way how porn turns girls into objects in our mind. I don’t want to avoid women but I feel like it is better than handling them in a wrong manner.


:hushed::hushed: Oh! So is that it means I completely need to avoid females, that’s very had in this today’s era of equality before women in our society. :grimacing::grimacing:
I use to sit between many females for lectures and all & all. This is going to be the toughest part of NoFap.

Thank you so much brother, it feels like many of us are struggling with this same issue. :face_with_head_bandage::face_with_head_bandage::slightly_smiling_face:

@nofapstar123 @Ash_Matt @Mitchy @Hoaxboy

please help :grimacing::grimacing:


Ok so first of all congrats for your 31 days streak bro! Keep going!
I was in the same situation 3-4 months ago. There was a girl i liked. And i guess it was just attraction towards her, not “love”, you can call it " Lust ". I posted in my diary too
I was distracted from my studies as i start to think of making her my gf and all. But i realized it soon right now in my life, relationship has no value for me.
So i started ignoring that girl and as days went by, i stopped thinking about her and im distracted no more.
Now, you can’t choose both relationship and studies
You have to value one of the two right now in your life. Value the one which is important for you!
Think about it!

And do this exercise daily brother


No, no. As I wanted to say, this is not a good solution. I wanted to write this, but I forgot. This is what I do, and I think there should be better solutions, but I didn’t find one so far, so I sticked with it for now. I’m also not able to avoid them fully, but you know, I’m not going into situations where the conversation would became more personal. So I won’t let myself close to them in any relationship so I won’t have impure thoughts with them.


This addiction harms the brain and it will take months for it to fully rewire. Everytime you get those thoughts do something, do some task, stay with your routine. Everytime you get a thought try to think about something else, like things you like to do, going to the gym, watching a movie, etc.
You can also take cold showers and go for short walks - it helps fighting the urge.

And the girl said no to you - it means that you’re in her friend zone and that means she doesn’t see who you really are. So for now, go along with her for some time watch closely if she is not serious about you, if she is not - just leave her.
don’t be a simp or too much nice to her, it will take away your manhood. Girls are not everything in the world.


@nofapstar123 Thank you so much Nofapstar :slightly_smiling_face::slightly_smiling_face:

I will start practicing what you told from tomorrow onwards. Please share the post where you mentioned about this issue in your diary as I’m not getting. :sweat_smile:

@Duran Yes bro you are right… The solution what I wanted is given by @Angryvolcan

Yes bro…thnx for realising me that girls are not everything… :neutral_face::slightly_smiling_face:

Thanks everyone for helping, but still it feels like, there’s something missing here. That needs to be filled. :thinking:

Well, nevertheless. I will follow everything told by everyone, let’s see… If I can overcome it. :eyes: :roll_eyes:


@Angryvolcan provided you with some great advice.

The lustful thoughts will be much easier to deal with when you are focused on your goals and making progress in your life. Like you said, the thoughts to watch pornography didn’t come to you while you were busy with your daily routine.

When they come to you, don’t engage them or be afraid of them, observe those thoughts and realise that you are in control. You do not have to submit to them, they are only suggestions. Think of those thoughts like a phone call from someone you don’t want to speak to. You can watch the phone ringing, you can see their name on the screen, you can hear the annoying sound of the ringtone, but you do not have to pick up the phone and speak to them. You are in control of the situation.

This is very true.

If you are falling in love with every woman you come across and asking them to become your girlfriend, you value women far too much. It is like you see being with a woman as the ultimate goal in your life. You have to stop putting women on a pedestal. A beautiful relationship with a great woman is a wonderful thing, but with this attitude, you would find a way to destroy that relationship. You will likely be clingy and overly attached to her, jealous, angry over small issues etc. You have to heal this mindset before getting into a relationship and sabotaging it.

A man needs to have a purpose for his life that is far above attracting women. What do you want to do? What do you want to create in this world? How will you improve your life, your family’s lives, your friends’ lives? When you focus on these goals, you actually become more attractive to women, because women aren’t interested in you if they believe they are the most important thing in your life. They instinctively know that isn’t how a high-quality man should be.

And when you are focused on your goals, it will be easier to smile and be friends with women without needing to ask them for a relationship. You won’t need one. You have more important things to do. And when the time is right, someone good will be there for you. You don’t have to be afraid, women are 50% of the planet’s population, they will not run out while you work on yourself. There is no need to be desperate.


This is a good thing… Not a bad one.

Stop seeing then. Guard your eyes. See them as souls and human beings. Watching girls and checking them out is same as peeking on screen.

Your brain is fooling you. It is saying as you are not watching porn, you can get your desires filled in real life. To get that done, you need a girlfriend.
The root cause will remain there if you get a girlfriend. You will try to get the same pleasure you got from porn from her. You will talk dirty on messages and exchange nude pics. Thats same as porn. Don’t replace an evil with another evil.
You need freedom from hyper sexuality porn has created.
Those who already have gf they even avoid sexting and sensual messages and talks.

Guard your eyes and the thoughts can be managed.
In the early part of your journey, its better to avoid female friendship if you cannot control your thoughts and yourself.

Once you can control your thoughts and urges, your view of opposite gender will change.

Porn addiction and hyper sexuality has many forms. Porn = exchanging nudes with gf or video sex , sex stories = sexting with gf or sensual talking.

Don’t get fooled into believing they are different.
Choose freedom.


Can i ask, do you have future expectation of sex in mind when you want to propose her to be your gf?
When you see her, do you see her with eyes of sexuality?.
If so then its the same lust of porn and masturbation taking another form.

As @nofapstar123 said


To control lusty thoughts and urges

POINT 1. Stay busy to defeat physical urges. Don’t fight the urges, it will get powerful if we concentrate on it. Staying busy is the ultimate weapon to defeat horniness. Staying busy for a lifelong goal and dream is better. Follow a routine. Don’t divert from it.

POINT 2. Never fantasize. If a sexual thought comes, just focus on something else. It just takes 5 seconds to redirect to a new thought. Entertaining a thought will increase its power and make you more horny and create powerful urges. So focus on something else.


Bro sab fade jange stay strong stay blessed

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@nihar Don’t worry, a lot of people experience this. I’ve had a couple crushes too, but wasn’t interested in asking them out. This was because of the following-

  • Is it love or lust? Want a simple and quick answer? Just answer this question- who do I plan to prioritise in this relationship? Who do I want this relationship for? For me or for her? When it’s love, you’ll be wanting a relationship for her, and you’ll see how precious she is. If it’s not love, then don’t pursue it. Puppy love makes you do stupid things.

  • Ask yourself the hard questions.

  1. Why am I asking her out? Do I want to marry her? Am I financially/socially/emotionally ready to support a family?
    It’s a newsflash for most people the dating has marriage as the end goal. In most cases, at any rate.
  • Talk to more people. Don’t stick around one girl only. When I faced a crush, talking to others girls made sense too.

  • Focus on your goals. You’re not older than 20, I assume. So you have to put goals before girls now. You have your whole life to choose a partner, that’s why they call it a ‘Life Partner’

  • Don’t avoid women. Interacting with real women will allow you to see how completely different they are from actors on a screen.

How old are you? :joy: (Rhetorical, don’t answer that)
5 days of chatting with someone doesn’t mean they want to date you lol. I know you will get a smile on your face when reading this in the future.

Don’t chase girls, chase goals.


@Forerunner strong words.


Im sorry i can’t stop myself from saying it after reading this :rofl:

Goals before girls :fire:


Try to do other stuff.


Hmm​:thinking: yes Brother this is something new, nobody told me this before :heart_eyes: from today onwards I’ll try to inculcate it in my lusty thoughts :expressionless: well thank you so much @Forerunner :heart::heart:

How it’s good bro :thinking::roll_eyes: pls explain me… So that I can ignore it fully :wink:

I’m damn sure that this is going to work :ok_hand:

Well I remember :thinking::thinking: within the 5 days of gossips, I did nothing but shared some sexual thoughts to her and I don’t know why she didn’t got angry and was replying in a frankly manner. :face_with_head_bandage::face_with_head_bandage: ( @Ash_Matt ) say something here.

Nope… When I wanted to propose her, I was just wondering if she will agree or not, I’m I good enough for her. How will she react, how I will react… :heart_eyes::heart_eyes: I never got any thought if I’ll have sex with her and I didn’t even see her as a sex partner… I see her as my question bank :heart_eyes::heart_eyes: who can answer all my questions :slightly_smiling_face:

Thank u blllooo :revolving_hearts::revolving_hearts::revolving_hearts:

It is love + lust = lost :eyes:

:neutral_face::neutral_face: These questions are not that simple :sweat_smile: it’s hard to answer :joy:

No. No. No. I just want that girl to share everything from my life, my happiness, my sadness and play games with her :slightly_smiling_face::slightly_smiling_face: I know it’s wierd but I am like that. :grimacing::grimacing:

:eyes::eyes: Will try this one :sunglasses::see_no_evil:

I’m actually smiling while reading this :joy::joy: you know like how ------

tenor (3)

ok bro

Thank u to everyone those who answered … Luv u all :heart::heart::heart:

@Mitchy where are you man :face_with_head_bandage::face_with_head_bandage:


Wetdream removes extra semen from your body. Makes you satisfied and less horny after a day. Its stabilizes you. Its a natural orgasm with your streak intact.

Wetdream is completely natural. Since you are not masturbating or having sex, wet dream is body’s natural way to fulfill its orgasmic desires and needs.

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Hey bro can I message you in private as I need to ask something :grimacing::grimacing: