Hi all new here, 29yrs old been stuck in a constant cycle of this crap for years, unfortunately I wish it was normal porn… Had an interest in bdsm which led to femdom and down the dark rabbit hole of the sissy stuff…
I’ve tried to get a pro/ho in the past but it just didn’t work…
Just coudnt get it going, deep down I really do want a gf and a family but this shit is like a weight that’s cemented me down, just had a relapse after two weeks tried to watch normal porn and edge it was okay but just didn’t click… Then switched over to that other filth and it clicked and relapsed basically,
Just wondering if anyone has changed their minds basically, I hate this crap I want out so bad!!! But my sexual attraction is so crossed I just don’t know where to start, do I watch normal porn to normalise it and don’t edge or how?..
Brother don’t take half measures in this and just reject every sexual act and attraction possible, you never see an obese man trying to rewire from fried food into a sugar rich one!
I will tell you my opinion. I think you are just caring about nofap and its benefits too much. I would suggest you to find career path that you want to grow. And put all your energy too it. When I was young I mean I am still young viewed nofap as ideology. But Nofap will give you energy and will make you little bit motivated. And about your question after certain time for me most of the woman became attractive. The women who i would rate 3/10 became like 8/10. It takes time and effort to rewire your brain. Exercise get up early eat healty food meditate and do something and other problems will be solved. Dedicate yourself to career that you will enjoy.
I believe that is very normal for guys at your age,if you have a great high paying job,you can date woman now
TBH I was the same as you are in pretty similar age as you are, so I think I can give you an advice.
Read Easy Peasy book. TO THE END, dont be like me, or well be like me. I started to reading it but it gave me an urge, so I stopped at page 40 I guess, then I relapsed a few times, but then after a month or so I read it through, since then, I am clean for over 120 days for now. I am hoping it will last forever, but I am no dreamer in that. You just never know, but thats ok. We are people, but dont think about relapsing, not at all, it will make you relapse, just take healthy and sober attitude and accept it might happen, and never think about that again.
STOP NOW, dont go easy on yourself. Go hard. just STOP.
It takes time to rewire these weird fetishes and fantasies, but it can be done. I also want a GF, but IDK if I am ready, if I am enough, if I am happy with myself. I am trying to be more social, more open, try new things. I am comunicating honestly, directly and truthfully and in a way I see it. It was not easy journey, but I managed to elevate a bit. I dont have much urges now, I dont have fantasies. Sometimes I do, but its more like “how wonderfull it would be to fall asleep with someone and not alone”, so easy kind of fantasies. Nor something hardcore.
Start to do something. Exercise, meditate, reading, socializing, switching from homeoffice to go to work if that possible, walking outside, do some hobbies. There is so much to do.
Try to be present and not wonder to past or future so practice meditation, write journal and read “Power of now by Eckhart Tolle”
Quit social media, or even better quit also gaming and watching series (any kind) and if that possible quit PC at all or at least use it only when you need it.
Start small, dont think about other people who did 50 days, 90 days, 2 years, NO. Start easy and ffs DONT REMIND IT to yourself and DO NOT THINK about that. Just go with the flow.
If you think you are stuck and dont know where you want to go, try “self authoring suite” by Jordan Peterson. Its worth of every penny. Its a bit time consuming and it takes few days/weeks to realize some stuff that you wroted down, but its working. I read so much about it and did it by myself. I do recommend that.
if you are in doubts, or worried or anything and have noone to share, share here. People here helped me a lot. I am trying to deal with some stuff by my own, but sometimes its so overwhelming that I came here and just wrote what I had on my mind. Or if you are not sure, write it somewhere, just get it out of your mind. Dont distract yourself by other things, NO. Process that. Thats the way.
dont start with everyting at once, it will destroy you. Start with something small, like meditate every morning and evening for 5 minutes every day, do that for 2 weeky, gradually increase time and then add something new, like writing a journal, or you can do that sooner or a bit laster if you feel like it, but gradually increase and add stuff.
Thats all what I can think of now. I always thought that I am the only one at my age and with these fetishes and weird videos, that I watched. Now you know that you are not alone. I dont want to give you general advice as I dont know it. IDK how to get a GF, how to stop your thougths and P usage. All I can do is tell you my story, which is pretty similar to yours and then hope that it helped you at least a bit. So now you, that its doable, you just need to get your mind there. You can stumble few times, or even more than a few, but any progress to stoping that even small one is a progress. Every “not acting on an urge” is a step up, no matter how small. You will get there evetually.
Also, last thing, sorry for many typos. Big apologies, but I am hoping that its understandable
Ane totally last thing. If you have any Q on something what I wrote or someting is unclearm just ask. Thats why this forum is here
Stop pmo totally. Complete a 180 days reboot. All your sexual problems, fetishes, ed everything will be solved.
Even a 90 days reboot can take you a long way. I also used to watch all these videos and had ed as well. It all got solved.
Thanks guys, yeah I’ve got a decent job and career path in trading I’ve been doing for a good 5years now, I was killing it and making a lot of money when focusing hard!
Lost my trail of thought and fell again into this shit which took all my attention and lost 90% of my account again!
Last week been focusing getting back at it and made a small recovery for the first time this year
Tbh I was thinking about a hypnotist? For a bit of mental help, anyone tried this route or know anyone who has…
Reckon it would be a bit awkward if I’m honest! Spilling all that
In the attraction to women the only thing I can tell you is that when I have a long streak I feel very sure of myself and that is very attractive around 68 days or close if I feel the change in my body but obviously you will not become a model I’m talking about that if you were in a 2/10 it would be a 3/10 but if you are disciplined in your workouts and have a streak of about 1 year, you could go from a 1/10 to a 4/10 of attractiveness towards women and that increases your chance of success you don’t need to like all women just one so work hard and patience and you can achieve something realistic people say crazy things on the internet dont believe everything
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