I have never written a diary in my life so ima give it a shot! Coz why the hell not?
So I woke up earlier than I expected this morning, but didn’t do anything special about it though. Later on I watched two movies. Inception and Dunkirk. Why? Coz ever since I saw Tenet, I felt the need to watch all the previous Christopher Nolan movies and reflect upon it. (To Everyone who’s gonna say, " oh you should, do productive shit and meditation and visualisation and affirmation and stuff" give me a break! I mean my exams got over yesterday, cut me some slack😂)
anyway, I was supposed to go to church and decide on the construction of the Christmas crib coz I was left in charge of it. But my friend got into some trouble with the police and I had to help him get out. ( perks of being a law student) so church plan was postponed to tomorrow. I played badminton for a solid 2 hours today and now I have shin splints and and It hurts like a bitch! I’m also tired af but I experienced the insecurities I have again today. Im insecure about the way I play, my father wiped the floor with me on court! It’s not a new thing but can’t seem to get used to it. I’m currently the worst player in the gang. I have myself to blame. The reason I suck at it is coz of my injury. I met with a motorbike accident three years ago and I severely dislocated my right shoulder tearing 2 out of the 3 shoulder ligaments. I did surgery but the injury still lingers. I’m a right hand dominant person but because of the injury, I can’t play with my right hand anymore. So whenever I play volleyball, basketball or badminton I use my left hand to spike, shoot or smash. It’s really difficult and getting adjusted to it is a pain in the ass. I can shoot the basketball with my left accurately but my spiking and smashing is horrible.
Day 2
16-12-2020
Got up around 8ish. Don’t remember exactly. Worked out. so my morning session was for around 2 hours.
Muscle groups:
Chest X2
Biceps X2
Quads and hamstrings X2
I ate around 12:30. You could say that I’m doing a half assed intermittent fasting. Then I watched the movie 1917. Always wanted to, so I did. At 5:00 I went to church, I had to get the crib building started. This time were doing a desert theme. It’s gonna be fun. The challenge this year is to make the Christmas crib as cost efficient as possible. Limit the budget as much as we can. I literally went scavenging for thermocol with my bro. And we did collect a lot. We need to start the soldering process tomorrow. Lot of work to be done. I came back around 7 and had my second work out session. This on was for 45 mins.
Muscle groups hit:
Upper abs X2
Upper back X2
Cardio hiit X2
Later had my family prayer, I read the first chapter of the gospel of Mathew. I was reading the old testament everyday, one chapter a day, till I reached the book of Leviticus. To be very honest, it’s mundane and boring. There is no plot at all. All chapters are the same. I mean, genesis and exodus had a really nice story line, Leviticus is just like reading a rule book. It’s a miracle I don’t fall asleep while reading. That’s why I skipped to the new testament, I mean I can’t possibly read anymore of that. Until and unless the story picks up. Anyway, dinners done. Ima go sleep. Planning to wake up really early in the morning coz, I have work from 10 and I wanna get done with my work out as early as possible.
Peace out!
Day 3
17-12-2020
I planned to wake up at 6:30 but only woke up at 7:30. Had my morning workout session.
Muscle groups hit:
Shoulders X2
Triceps X2
Hips and glutes X2
Then I went to church to begin our work on the crib. Spent my whole day there working on it and doing various other tasks related to it. Not gonna help explain everything here. It’ll take a long time. Came back home around 7:30 and had my second workout session.
Muscle groups hit:
Obliques X2
Lower back X2
Cardio X2
Had a really fulfilling dinner. Then came family prayer and I read only a small paragraph from the Bible coz I was too tired to read a lot. Now I’m gonna hit the sack. Ciao.
So I didn’t post yesterday coz I was really tired once I got back home so this is 2 days worth of diary entry in one.
Day 4
18-12-2020
My day started with the worst news possible. I was informed that my friend’s father had passed away earlier that morning. He is not just a friend, he is like a little brother to me. We are both artists and no one understands me that way like he does. So when I heard the news, I rushed to his house. I was there the whole day helping with the things that needed to be done. I was standing for most of the day or was running around getting things done. I only came back home after the funeral services late in the evening. I was so tired that I passed out big time once I reached home.
Day 5
19-12-2020
Since I was too tired from yesterday’s work, I didn’t try waking up early. I slept till late. I had to go to church and get the crib work started, I skipped my morning workout. To be very honest, all my muscles from the previous workouts were still sore so I kinda made it my extra rest day. I went to church and started working on the crib. It was just me there. I really enjoy doing artistic work. Actually it’s not work for me at all since I enjoy it so much. I just plug in my earbuds, play the music and zone out. Time flies by quickly. I got a lot of shit done today. Feeling super proud of myself. Urges are almost nonexistent. Well I guess my brain is getting used to nofap, but I can’t get too cocky. Yea well I’m done for today. I’m back home. I’ll just eat pray and sleep then. Peace out
Day 6
20-12-2020
Sunday
The best thing about Sunday is church, hands down! I love going to church, meet the fam and all my friends. It’s such a good time and a positive way to start the day! I genuinely feel happy there. Once I came back, me and my father cleaned out staircases and our porch while my mother cleaned the interior. Man cleaning three floors is a pain in the ass, but was it worth it? Hell yea! The place looks much better to be honest. And it looks ready for Christmas! I should put up more decorations though!
In the evening me an dmy father went out to play badminton with my friends. Again I’m not the best at it, but I don’t go play to beat anyone or test my skills. For me it’s about spending time with people. My friends. And I keep that as a priority. It helps a lot with staying positive and motivated and also helps a lot with nofap.
Yea today was a good day! Have a fuck load of work tomorrow so looking forward to it!
Ima hit the sack now! Ciao.
Day 7
21-12-2020
Monday
Woke up at 8. It’s kinda late but idc. Didn’t workout for some reason. I was supposed to go to church and start with the soldering work but it was put off to later in the afternoon. I watched Mr beast videos till then. I know, very productive… then I went to church, finished all my soldering work. It was fun as always. The fumes will kill me one day, but now that it’s done, all that’s left is painting that we’ll be doing tomorrow. In the evening I had to go to the railway station to drop off a package. It was a nice ride I enjoy riding my bike a lot. It’s quite refreshing. Then came back home, I skipped prayer today. Then up until now I was on a call with my friend. We were discussing about the next album cover that we are designing. Yes I do design album covers. I designed a lot of things. Websites, logos, album covers. I don’t get paid for any of them. It’s more of a hobby. So yea I was discussing the ideas for the next album cover with him we have a picture in mind but now we have to draw it out. It’ll take some time, but will get it done eventually. Yea that’s it. Peace out
So I didn’t update yesterday so this is two days entries in a row
Day 8
22-12-2020
Tuesday
I was in a dilemma when I woke up. I think I had a wet dream. I don’t exactly remember what the dream was. But I remember ejaculating. But when I woke up there was no evidence of a wet dream. Either I had a wet dream, or I dreamt about having a wet dream, which means I was dreaming in my dream… That’s some inception level shit right there:!!
Anyway, the rest of the day way pretty normal. As usual I went to church, continued my work on the crib. Had a lot of Painting work to do. And then later we went to a place where they sell sheets of garden grass. It’s for the crib. The trip to that place is pretty nice. We have to go through farm lands and forests to get there. It’s really relaxing riding your bike there and back to church. Later we arranged all the grass and painted props till they looked proper. After cleaning up, we had food at church itself. When I returned home, it was past 10:15. That means I wa effectively at church working on the crib for 12+ hours. Wow what a day.
Day 9
23-12-2020
Wednesday
I left home at around 10:15 and went straight to collect some tree barks. Then went straight to collect some hay from a seminary nearby. Then we continued with the crib work as usual. We had a lot of roofing work to do. Roof of the houses we made for the crib. Miniature ones. We made like a village for the whole of Bethlehem including the barn were Christ was born. So a lot of hay is involved. We finished with our crib making today, including all the finishing touches. After cleaning up, we had food at church itself again. Our state government has imposed curfew after 10 pm till January. So I kinda hurried home even though I was way past 10. But thankfully the people of our state don’t give a shit about the curfew, so everyone was one the streets. The shops and restaurants were still open. Traffic was a usual as it is here in Bangalore. When I reached home it was 10:30 pm. Again, I was at church working on the Christmas crib for more than 12+ hours. But now that it’s over, I miss the work. But tomorrow we have some decoration work at the church and we are also bringing in a big ass tree to decorate. So yea work is not over yet. Peace out
Day 10
24-12-2020
Thursday
Today is the Christmas celebration and I’m all prepared. But my church was not. So I had to got to church at around 10:30 in the morning to set up the Christmas tree and decorate it along with the rest of the church. Today there were a lot more people there working other than me.tge rest of the youth just working together and enjoying the spirit of Christmas. I loved it. We spent a lot of time decorating till I had to leave to get ready for the mass. We had our mass at 5:45 in the evening due to covid restrictions. I was an alter boy again and I had Bible readings on top of that. I kinda fucked it up but it wasn’t that bad. We were asked to rush out of church right after mass so that the next batch can attend their mass. I wished whoever possible in the hurry and I left for home. Back at home, I visited my cousin’s place, cut cake, ate it with fam and drank a lot of wine. I came back home and my father was busy drinking with his bros on the terrace. I was just chilling there alone with my bottle of homemade pineapple wine. Yes we make a lot of wine. It’s kind of a hobby. We make different kinds of wines and store it over a period of a year till we open and drink. So I was doing exactly that. I got drunk pretty soon and was texting the girls I like. I know it’s a bad idea but try convincing that to my drunk self. Anyway, the conversation with girl no. 1 went pretty smooth but the one with girl no.2 was a bit shaky. I kind of asked her out and she didn’t reject nor did she accept. She was not sure apparently. It’s a rejection in my books so ima take it that way. I went to sleep pretty soon.
Day 11
25-12-2020
Friday
I woke up early. Had a nightmare but went back to sleep and woke up late. Then I ate cake right after drinking tea and before brushing my teeth. Yea ik it’s weird and I am. I went with my father to visit my father’s friends parents who were currently living alone and gave them cake. It made them really happy. It kinda made my day. Ate a lot for lunch. Coz it’s Christmas. I kinda fell asleep in the afternoon too which is very very rare. I woke up and my cousins visited me and we chilled for sometime till we ate dinner and I drank wine again. I’m low-key drunk right now. So yea. Also I’ve been eating a lot coz it’s Christmas. We have all kinds of meats in our house like chicken, pork, beef and fish. Yep that’s a lot of food and that’s a lot of protein. I’ve not used it as much as I could today but I need to work out like crazy on the coming days so that all this protein I’m eating is used to build muscle. Ima pass out now! Ciao
I woke up late today, so I couldn’t get to workout. I was planning to start my workouts again from today but was off to a bad start. Then I ate a very heavy breakfast. I mean it was so good, my mother kept on making more appams and I kept on eating them till I couldn’t anymore. Kinda exhausted myself like that. Didn’t do anything special for sometime. But I decided to draw a picture for my wall since it’s been sometime since I drew something proper and hung it on my wall. So I tried to a draw a quick sketch on my notebook so that I can have a better reference when I draw on the A3 sheet. I’ll attach the pic if I can. It’s not super clean or accurate but I like how it looks. Hopefully the actual drawing will be more realistic and accurate. But it will take a long time to draw it. Later in the day I received devastating news, one of my friend who is more like a little brother to me told me that his mother was admitted in the hospital. She had apnea which is some breathing related illness and also something wrong with her kidneys. But apparently she was pregnant with a six month old child and due to the complications the child died. We are all super bummed out about it. This is the second death that’s happening in our community this week. It was too much for me so I just got out of my house and went for a long walk around a nearby lake. While walking I talked to my girl for a really long time. I had to get all the emotions out. Shes really good with that. It kinda took my mind off of things. After I got back from my two hour long walk, I just took a shower, ate dinner, prayed and I’m about to sleep. Peace out
This is only a rough Sketch of what I’m about to draw. A brief explanation of the concept behind the drawing. So this is a picture of St. Joseph, mother Mary and baby Jesus Christ. It shows how Joseph expresses his love towards Mary and Jesus by gently pressing them close to him and protecting them at the same time. Also shows how mother Mary rests fearlessly and calm against his chest holding her baby tight. It tries to tell how true manliness is not about being rough and tough but it actually lies in being gentle and loving towards your woman. Joseph here is the epitome of man as he protects and loves his wife with the tender care and Mary lies fearlessly and completely in love with Joseph and baby Jesus sleeping carelessly against Mary which is the safest place on earth.
I just had the worst possible day so far. Ok things could have gone much worse but it was pretty bad. You get the point. So I woke up with one of the most disturbing dreams I’ve had in a long time. I’ve dreamt my ex and her best friend in bed… And there were two other guys too, both foreigners and it was pretty wild. I woke up and guess what happened, all the urges I’ve been fighting came with double the force and I couldn’t take it anymore. I relapsed. I’m super embarrassed about what happened today! Why? I’ll tell you why. … See I broke up with her on January last year and with all that crashing down, I left Instagram and Snapchat to keep out all the negativity. I haven’t been it contact with her since. I don’t know what is happening with her, or where she is or with whom. So it was peaceful. And all of a sudden this happens…I relapsed to a dream about my ex. I have a girlfriend. I feel bad for her. I feel like I have cheated on her. I feel so bad and embarrassed. So in order to take my mind of things, I went for a movie with my friend. We went and watched wonder woman 1984. And boy that movie was bad. It was so disappointing. Even though the movie was bad, I spent some time with my friend so that’s the only good thing that happened… but wait! I heard from him that my ex is in Liverpool now, doing masters in business or something. There’s only one thing that hurts more than memories of your ex, it’s the news that she’s doing better than you. I genuinely feel horrible!
That’s it! Ima go kill myself!
No I’m not gonna kill myself, I’m just overreacting in text. I don’t know what to do. Probably overthink a lot and feel miserable till I can’t feel more miserable. Ok that’s it
It’s actually day 4 for me but since I’m doing the challenge I’ll keep at as day 1 to avoid confusion
Day 1
1-1-2021
Friday
Woke up at 6 in the morning and went to church. We always start our new years by attending the holy mass. It’s kind of a tradition. Anyway, after the mass I met my friends who came to church and spent some time with them. I took them to drink chukku kappi(in malayalam). I don’t know what it’s called in English but it would be called something like ginger/pepper black coffee. It’s something that I drink on a daily basis. It’s quite refreshing. After that I went home. I visited my friends, cut new year cake and came back home. And then basically did nothing much for the day till I went out to play in the evening. Was it the most productive day and the ideal way to start the new year? Not by a long shot, but I’ve got no regrets. If I spend time with my friends, it’s a day well spent in my books. Anyway, I did spend most of the day before playing, by watching avatar, the animated series. I started watching it like a couple of days ago and I might as well finish it. The story is lit:fire:. Actually that’s about it. I’m planning to start my workouts from tomorrow. I also have to go get some charcoal pensils to start working on my portrait drawing classes. Also I’ll be visiting a dog shelter tomorrow. Most likely will get a dog for myself. So yea, peace out
…Congo buddy
. This cruel year is going to end soon , tell your friend to stay strong and be with his mother .
. Actually that’s about it. I’m planning to start my workouts from tomorrow. I also have to go get some charcoal pensils to start working on my portrait drawing classes. Also I’ll be visiting a dog shelter tomorrow. Most likely will get a dog for myself. So yea, peace out 
