In 2020 when I was 12.5 year old I watched a
Hot video on YouTube I first time masturbated that time but I didn’t know what is it what I was doing after doing this thing 4 time First time my sperm come out I was like what is it why is it too sticky and white I was Shocked Then I start searching Google about it I found a Post where it’s written it’s nothing Dengerous it’s very normal even you have to used to it Masturbation is no harmful that Time I was Dumb Enough to get manipulated by those nonsense post after that I start masturbation every day 1 to 4 time every time urge start become stronger than ever but almost 1.5 year later I Realise I Ruined my life I start trying to leave masturbation but even 1 year later I can’t leave it but now I was 15 year Old This time I will Definitely leave this fucking P*rn I already almost Destroyed My Social skills My face my memory almost everything because of this addiction So I wanted to change my self before it’s too late. I already wasted 3 years of my life but Now I will Definitely change myself!
•That’s my Story My Name is Faisal Age- 15 in 2023
P.S - I just Shared the story How I got addicted to Fap but It’s not The whole story I start doing it to escape Reality and pain but Running from problem is not the solution So I will solve it in my way I do not wanted to blame anyone I will take my own Responsibility by myself it’s time to face Problems and Fix them .
Date- 11 November 2023 Morning . In 2 hours My Day 1 is going to start.
What I am going to do today?
Schedule for Today I will take a bath after that I will do 10 squats and 150 wall push ups Today I am not going to do intense exercise because on 4:00 pm I will go to play football Till 18 November I am on a vacation provided by the Government because of Pollution from Next month My Pre-Board is going to start So I will Study for 2 hours today That’s it if anything else happens today I will update it here .
Day 2 Completed … Today I played football again after 3 days My legs in now Paining I am noob in football I just started playing 10 days ago So it’s obvious But I am learning it day by day Btw Now I am happy with my decision that I started playing with my friends and Increasing my socialization I was just passing my time but Now I understand it that this time is most precious time of my life So I will make memories of this time I will definitely make friends in Real life.
Day 5 is going to start In just 3 hours .
Many things is going on in my life I am making little changes in my life to improve myself and it’s worth it I am seeing the little results of my efforts I never win arm wrestling in two years I got defeated within a second because I am too skinny and weak but from 6 months I started eating more but I do not stopped my habit of eating junk food but now I am controlling over myself I will gain healthy weight also I am exercising whenever I got time because of this finally I can now withstand for 2 minutes in arm wrestling even I defeated my one friend in it but it’s not enough I want to Defeat everyone in my class I am not a professional Arm wrestler even I don’t want to become one but in class we do this as a timepass I do not want to stay weak that everyone will take me lightly I will become strong mentally and physically no matter what Now I know what’s my aim is I want to become best I also wanted to get more tall I am 15 year old My height is 166cm I wanted to become 180 cm tall I don’t like to write in notebooks that’s why I don’t make notebook of many subjects but now I am completing my work because many of my teacher recognise me but still I don’t care I am just going to complete the notebook of science for other subjects I will made stories to fool them although my class mate always tell teachers that I didn’t even made a notebook .
It’s Day 5 I didn’t attended my school today So I was at home I did some bodyweight exercises for legs also I trained my core muscles (abs) it’s a sleepy day I slept for almost 3 hours in Evening I got many urges but I controlled myself Mindfulness is working whenever I got urges no matter what I am in which position I start doing mindfulness you can think it’s kind of meditation.
Let’s restart from the beginning
Actually leaving My Smartphone was like I was wasting my time if I will add all good habits at once then I will fall again So Slowly slowly habits ko add karte hai like wise abhi mujhe thoda apna stamina badhana hai toh running se start Karunga par ye aas paas park mea bhot log hote hai mea to sharam se hi mar jaunga isliye dusre park mea jaunga woh thoda door toh hai par wo kuch jyada hi bada hai isliye koi dekhega bhi nahi bhaag bhi lunga park mea wese wha se aane jane mea hi thakawat ho jayegi par koi nahi .
Apni diary par regular ho toh jata mea lekin likhu kya ? Kuch shabd hi nahi hai par koi nahi ab kalse shuru karta hun ise safar ko baki mea English mea diary likhu ya Hindi mea?
Chalo rehne do meri marji .
Hey @Faisal11 hows your day going.I see you are struggling again and again.
Remember our conversation throughout my journey?I want you to realize where were you then and where are you now
Yes you are right If I don’t change my lifestyle the nothing going to change I got Bullied in my school and even got hit by them I don’t have friends that’s why I think them as my friends atleast they are talking to me it doesn’t matter that they are making fun of me but 2 days ago they all started hitting me at the same time I couldn’t hold myself and started crying they tried to comfort me so that I won’t do complaint to teacher and I didn’t did Now I am using that humiliation as fuel Iam weak that’s why they bully me If I became strong no one will dare to bully or insult me .
I am never going to bully anyone even if I get enough strength to bully someone because I know the feeling when you get bullied by others and can’t do anything to stop them in 11th I will meet new classmates according to subjects or maybe if I passed sose exam then I even can go in new school I will definitely become better than I am now So that I don’t get bullied in 11th I will definitely protect those who got bully by someone I know I am not a massiah but I will do my best.
.
in Real life.
I also wanted to get more tall I am 15 year old My height is 166cm I wanted to become 180 cm tall I don’t like to write in notebooks that’s why I don’t make notebook of many subjects but now I am completing my work because many of my teacher recognise me but still I don’t care I am just going to complete the notebook of science for other subjects I will made stories to fool them although my class mate always tell teachers that I didn’t even made a notebook 
I will fall again So Slowly slowly habits ko add karte hai like wise abhi mujhe thoda apna stamina badhana hai toh running se start Karunga par ye aas paas park mea bhot log hote hai mea to sharam se hi mar jaunga 
isliye dusre park mea jaunga woh thoda door toh hai par wo kuch jyada hi bada hai isliye koi dekhega bhi nahi bhaag bhi lunga park mea wese wha se aane jane mea hi thakawat ho jayegi par koi nahi 
.
If I don’t change my lifestyle the nothing going to change I got Bullied in my school and even got hit by them I don’t have friends that’s why I think them as my friends atleast they are talking to me it doesn’t matter that they are making fun of me but 2 days ago they all started hitting me at the same time I couldn’t hold myself and started crying they tried to comfort me so that I won’t do complaint to teacher and I didn’t did Now I am using that humiliation as fuel Iam weak that’s why they bully me If I became strong no one will dare to bully or insult me 
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