Day 14
So, where is entry for day 13? Well, Day 13 was a struggling day. Not because of any urge but mentally it was struggling. I don’t wanna talk about since i thought about it and don’t see anything positive in it. Let’s just say it was emotionally taxing and leave it at that. It took all my willpower to get back up and it made me feel good. Finally, I had to tweak a few things in my lifestyle plan and strategy. That’s it. Good thing was that i finished that portion of my syllabus i talked about on day 12.
Ate a satisfying breakfast in the morning today and it made me grateful. Got my eyes set on today(day 14).
Update: I’ve met today’s study goal. Exercise complete.
Will take a shower. Then go to sleep.
Eating well Sleeping well Productive mindset studying exercise
Day 16
(Btw Day 15 was not productive. Studying started off in full throttle but then i started procrastinating. Gotta be alert about that from next time. No exercise.)
Had trouble sleeping last night. I was having headache some time before going to sleep. Then on top of that there was a so-called “religious” singing majlis that started singing in a close neighborhood. Basically, “muslim” version of concert. They played whole night. I went to bed at freaking 2AM and they were still playing. The losers played the whole night!
Apparently they think this is piety even though it has no place in their religion. (I know. I have studied. It’s nothing but their selfish heart they are following).
I believe your character reflects your piety.
And If you fail to show basic decency(…like these fools did) that says much about you (By extension your piety).
ignoramus like this gives religion a bad rep.
Disgusting!
Anyway, rant over.
an urge came in the middle of sleeping, Lol. I put it off by saying meh, i wanna sleep.
Wasn’t much productive again today like yesterday. Studied very little & no exercise. At least eating and sleeping is on point. Trying to keep my mind fresh. I want to meet my goals for tomorrow. As long as there’s tomorrow i will keep going. No food in fridge. Seems like the perfect opportunity to order something good for myself tomorrow.
Day 17
Remember, the guys that ruined my sleep the previous day? Well, They were back at it again last night and surprise! I got no sleep at all last night. I don’t believe these guys love God as much as they love singing and banging instruments.
Anyway, So, basically today this was me:
Personally, today was an emotional day. Won’t go into details but i finally could cry today. It’s been so long it’s like i forgot how it was like to cry. Made me feel better to flush out all the emotions. With that i am remaining strong.
Today’s urge was not a big deal.
Didn’t meet my study goal today but it was good enough. Exercise done and my mind is feeling fresh.
Eating well Sleeping well productive mindset Exercise
Day 18
Nightfall occurred last night. Feeling awesome because the extra build up is now out of my system. So the next few days i should have no problem from urges.
I don’t recall seeing any dream. So dream won’t linger on my mind. So this is a total win-win for me.
Today i became careless about my sleep. That affected eating on proper time. Failed to do that. Basically, my whole day was affected.
I am determined to not let this happen again.
Studying was too little because of this.
Exercised today to refresh my mind. I am enjoying exercising.
Day 19
Last night laying on my bed i recognized that i was not truly happy. I was wondering i have come far but why am i not happy?.. It got me thinking.
After a while, everything untangled and i had clarity about the whole situation.
It’s just that my brain chose not to think happily about my life. I should be happy for coming this far.
Regardless of that, there’s just so many things for me to be happy about. Alhamdulillah.
Finally, if you aren’t happy you will make less progress. Basically, you yourself is holding yourself back.
So, I choose to be happy from now on.
In the evening today i was about to feel down. But i pulled myself back up.
Jip, a wise man told me this once and I don’t recall where he gotten it . I don’t always follow it, but I hope I can build on it now, because I see man beyond my reach, but he is so close, but my mind is telling me to be the man I am now and not go for the better version . It is… just that uncertainty of a lot of things running in my mind to stop me from reaching my potential. But I am slowly fighting and gaining that which I wanna be. By the way back on my point:
‘That what you think about yourself, is that is what you will be’.
So I am going to stop limiting myself and so I hope others will too! Good luck and stay strong and stay awesome!
I don’t have much time… Thought i’d share this.
I recently discovered this technique & it works nicely for me. This is one of the things i figured out myself while in this journey.
When there’s urge you are maybe thinking to yourself that “I have to abstain from PMO”. I have to. I have to.
Rather think differently. try this: Be confident, (add breathing technique with it if you want) and then… Think that
“I am choosing to stay away from PMO”.
This will give you the sense of control over your urge. i.e. Give you the feel that you are in control. Urge will feel easy.
Day 22 just checking in…
Got hit by some effective urges lately. When that happens doing an activity that takes my full focus really helps me. It switches my attention.
After some time urge just vanishes.
I have my reasons clear to myself. I know why I’m doing this.
It’s 2020 in my place already. Entering into 2020 on a streak Yay!
22days. YES!!
Day 26 checking in…
If you have all 3, it’s a recipe for a perfect storm what you’ll get caught up in. What this means is if you have these traits then man,
If life is able to put you in a suffocating enough position next thing you know anxiety is having a field day with you.
Being caring about your future is one thing. It can help you come up with plans.
But worrying about future so much so that it creates anxiety to the point that you can’t even execute your plan, halt your performance is no help at all. That’s counter-productive. It will destroy your life.
I learned that the hard way. To be honest i can’t blame myself… Being the only responsible person in the family takes a lot of guts. I have been in a position in life where i had no choice but to work hard for future and had to use my concern for future to keep me going and going. But now i have become wise. I know what not to do.
I threw my worries(to be accurate fear of the future that is only figment of my imagination) away in the metaphorical trash can today and slept like a baby today. I felt so liberated from my worries.
We all have slips now and again on our productivity, the key thing is to get right back on track. The good news is you didn’t let laziness lead you back to PMO.
Other thing i wanna write is that recently i had the opportunity to help someone. Well, technically i couldn’t help much because the person lives in a totally different country than mine. But i helped how i could. I am feeling grateful to God(Allah, creator of all that exists) for being able to help the person. Feelings like these are precious.
Peace.
Update: The person contacted me and it seems I did manage to help the person during a critical phase. It was not in vain. I believe there couldn’t be any better outcome given the person’s circumstance. Always have faith. Things work out.
Eating well
Sleeping well
Yay!
