Maybe it is. Maybe something you ate? It could be the same thing that triggers urges or maybe it’s random. A good breakfast should get you going in the right direction. I think you did what was right and the urges are not your fault.
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Yeah so many causes, I’m.getting used of washing dishes early morning 
Day 17
my sleep is still a little mess but being a morning person is almost there.
I’m glad I didn’t give in to my urges on the day 15. i did waste a lot of time sleeping but I think I prefer that rather than giving in. But I still need to find alternatives other than sleeping.
I’m getting back at honing my skills. back to basic again. I still lack the motivation and doing some extra miles. I know I should always do that but this bad habits do hinder. So today I did make a to do list for that stuff. they are plenty now that I look at it but I want to do half of them at least. I just hope I won’t discourage easily.
there are so many things to do. I really hope there is no urges today. the morning atmosphere is nice, I ate my breakfast and I feel at peace. no wonder it’s a good time for exercising (I still don’t exercise yet).
I remember something that I heard or read on the the internet, they say our cells regenerate or degenerate there is no thing as neutral. I think that also applies to our life. I hope we should choose being a better person in whatever circumstances we are facing.
always keep fighting.
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Good going dori … think in this way .
U already are 17% cured so keep it going and dont loose your recovery .
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Day 18
today is literally a wasted day. I can’t focus one of the reason is the urges are strong. to comfort myself I told it’s a rest a day.
I know what could be the trigger, we lost a good relative yesterday. I’ve read some graphic novel, it hooked me for some hours because i like the character (There is nothing inappropriate stuff there) . I don’t want to play the usual games I played. I can’t function, the normal routine is really burdensome at the moment but I did tried to finished the important chores that I think I needs an immediate attention. I feel fatigued.
the urges are strong but I don’t have the energy to act on it. my brain is finding the easiest way to comfort me. I did walk for 15 mins, it help but I just want to sleep right now. I know still need to face it tomorrow. it would be nice if my mind is clear or refreshed after a good sleep or nap so that I can sort things out in my mind. I want to help in the burial preparations tom.
life is so uncertain. Let’s always keep fighting my friends.
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