Don't Relapse-Emergency Notes to self

You know deep down that porn and masturbation have never been helpful. They have always made you feel guilty afterwards. You always feel weak after it. It takes away the desire to study or workout or anything productive for that matter.

And you Relapse and masturbate to porn not just because you want to enjoy and be happy for real. It’s because the addicted brain takes over your reason and judgment. It makes you blind. It forces you to only think about opposite gender. It takes away your focus. It makes you irritable. It makes you insomniac when you have to sleep because there is work or college tomorrow. It makes you MISERABLE.

Don’t you think it’s like a dumb crying child that makes your life miserable just because you won’t buy him snacks or toys. Well guess what, that child believes if he can make you miserable, you will cave in.

So here is the plan. I know you don’t want to Relapse. All these years, you have not been jerking off. No… You have been trying not to jerk off. You have been training to self control. You want to quit. You don’t even like porn and masturbation. It’s all the same. Watch porn. Jerk off. Regret… Relapse… Watch porn… Jerk… Regret…

What a dumb cycle. I know you are tired of it. So you only need to abstain from porn and masturbation and from ALL TRIGGERS. Also make your day busy, productive… You already know what to do… Exercise… Study, meditation… That you already know…

You will feel miserable. You will feel being pulled closer to your old habits like a magnet when you face a trigger. But stay strong… For if you abstain for 6 months… I am sure that addiction will be broken for sure… You will feel better. Don’t aim for 90 days or 120 days… Aim for 6 months at least…

Infact aim for improving every single day. Don’t get trapped by counting days without focusing on building mental resistance to triggers.

Remember. If you don’t improve everyday… Man you are moving closer to Relapse.

If you want to quit, be prepared to face your ownself trying to argue you into Relapse. Be prepared to feel miserable.( looks opposite to the easy peasy way but let’s be honest, withdrawals are real). You are fighting yourself. The only way to beat yourself is to become stronger than your present.

First step… Believe with all your mind, reasoning and heart that YOU DON’T NEED PORN AND MASTURBATION. YOU DON’T NEED TO RELAPSE. YOU CAN LIVE WITHOUT THESE TEMPORARY SEXUAL PLEASURES.YOU CAN QUIT!!!. ITS POSSIBLE

( I’ve been mastubating for 11 years and these pleasures are always overrated. I can live without them. I won’t die… There are more fun and pleasurable things and activities than PMO).

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I plan to write everyday how fake porn is and how temporary and foolish the instant gratification is.

It will help me to believe what I write to tell others. I won’t forget my goal if I remember it everyday. Also, I will be morally accountable to follow what I preach.

Feel free to join.

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Since relapsing at day 101 I haven’t been able to cross 1 week… I am in chaser effect for far too long… I think this plan will work.

The best way to learn is to teach others.
If I help others and tell them not to Relapse, I will myself be less likely to Relapse as I will be more aware of my situation.

If I cross 7 days, then this plan definitely works.

Even if no one replies to my posts, I will keep posting and not be demotivated. Because writing and thinking the negatives of porn is the main goal that is completed by just posting.

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Keep posting bro… I’ll learn something :blush:

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Haha… Sure… Thanks :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

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How long does the chaser effect last ? I’m now at day 10,but for past of couple of days,I’m getting intense attractions towards opposite gender… this is so bad

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It can be from a few hours to a few weeks. It depends if you are able to make a good streak after a Relapse or not…

10 days is a good streak. This ain’t chaser effect for you. It’s just normal intense urges you experience when you do nofap. Just adjust to these urges and grow stronger bro. Accept this attraction as a part of routine and don’t focus on it. Stay busy. You’ve got this.

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Sometimes I think if I had a time machine, I could go back to my pre addicted past and warn myself about all the harms of porn and masturbation. I could tell myself of all the pain and guilt caused by PMO.

Then again, why can’t I say all that to myself in present when I’m about to Relapse. I CAN. I SHOULD. And I WILL.

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I also used to think like the same , but the important thing that I realised was that we were not addicted by the porn only when we started watching it. Rather, we were actually surrounded by bad things , due to which we started watching porn . We started watching porn because we ourselves had something negative due to which we chose that path ( and this is something which every user has felt at some point) . If we weren’t lazy , carefree then we wouldn’t have started watching it .
We started it cause we weren’t BUSY enough to get ourselves do our work rather than sticking to this fake world .

The best advantage of any addiction is that it warns you , it actually shows you the troubles about how being not under control can create much chaos in someone’s life.
There are a 1000s of ways to do this to do that and get out of this addiction.

But the best way and I must say the only way is to keep yourself busy , keep yourself being productive , be positive. I just want to say change your way of living , don’t live the type of life you were living when you FIRST STARTED WATCHING PORN.

I gurantee you’ll succeed :100::100::100::100:

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Those are some powerful words. Thanks for the great advice :+1:

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WHY WE RELAPSE?

What we think before

We Relapse because we need that rush of dopamine we are addicted to. (for the body it’s the horniness you feel in your testis but that’s another discussion for tomorrow. Right now I’ll discuss just brain) The desire for Dopamine motivates us. It makes that action the most desirable and hides and smokes everything else in its way. You forget your reason for nofap. You forget how you felt the guilt and regret the last time you relapsed. It’s like wearing glasses that makes everything appear of similar color. Of similar goal. One goal… Dopamine. You see you mobile or computer as a means for PMO. You see the chair as a means to sit and fap on. You see the door as a means of privacy during your secret bad habit. You see the shower as a means to clean the filth away when you are done.

What happens after the relapse

And when you Relapse, the sunglasses are off and the real color of everything appears as it was. Now you see the reality. All is left is regret, guilt and weakness.

How can you stop?

You don’t wear those glasses immediately. You only wear it after facing a trigger and not guarding your Initial thoughts and actions. When you see a trigger, just say no. Look away. Don’t focus on the initial thought of jerking off. It will die when you don’t concentrate on it. You only wear those glasses when you continously react to the trigger in your old ways. Just change the reaction to the trigger. Soon this new way will become your old way and you won’t relapse to a trigger.

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What the physical urge in your balls is telling? Is it telling you to fap? No! It has no language. It’s quiet. It’s just there. It is you who decide whether to extinguish this fire with fap (it will rekindle again) , Or you could let it burn. Become used to this feeling. And use it to fuel your motivation.

You can control this physical urge. You have the willpower. You just have to belief.

What is stopping you from becoming your best version?

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Reflection on Relapse

I’m writing this right after Relapse.
I was feeling horny. And I was triggered. I had control but I felt this desire to Persue pleasure which BTW I did not get like I expected. The only things that happened were I stopped being horny and my balls are empty, I lack energy and motivation.

The main motivation for the act was to get pleasure but it was all a lie. As soon as I decided to Relapse it was like I was on a train out of my control taking me to a promised destination. The train went to the wrong destination and I am back where I started on day 0. Before I sat on the train, before I decided to Relapse, I felt this mental pressure that i had to fight with my willpower. That mental pressure grew stronger when my eyes saw the trigger which I now see as not that sexual.

Conclusion

I could have stopped. It was not unbearable. I could had control if I wanted to. I could have avoided this. It was just a compulsion, a bad habit which needs time and effort to break but it’s breakable. My brain is rewireable.The promise the habit makes that makes u Relapse are all lies. You won’t get what you bargained for. You will lose motivation, energy, focus, time, power. You won’t get the pleasure. It’s not even worth trying. It’s a false promise. If I could go back and do things differently , I would start guarding my eyes, plan my next action and tasks for the day, and definitely not Relapse.

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@madhavbansal thanks bro :+1:

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Sometimes the things we want to hold on to the most are the things we must let go

Since just posting here did not work, I have deleted all my games, movies and series that triggered me recently. Let’s see if avoiding triggers altogether works or not. It has worked in the past. It was based on the idea that willpower is limited and no matter how strong you are, if you see opposite sex even in normal nonsexual clothes, you will slowly lose control and Relapse. But this is only for those who always Relapse to visual triggers and fap to porn.

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Bro that’s not the case willpower isn’t limited , it is actually unlimited there are many people ,YES MANY PEOPLE who have abstained from it by their willpower only. If willpower was limited then the human race would have never been successful and we would still be dwelling in caves. It’s our willpower that drives us to success whether it’s any addiction or leaving any habit or making a good habit or working on a routine.

WILLPOWER still holds the key , suppose you are waking always late in morning say around 9 am but you want to change this , and want to wake up at 7 am so will you fail your idea in the first instance by saying that
NO WILLPOWER IS LIMITED , I CANNOT WAKE UP AT 7 AM. No bro , that’s not how successful people work they push themselves , yes they PUSH THEMSELVES .
Humans can only be pushed by inside of them that is by using their willpower, their inside energy. Don’t think that willpower doesn’t work , willpower works most of the time .

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We have to work EVERY SINGLE DAY!
WORK ON IT…

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I understand what you are saying. But you misunderstood me. I did not say that willpower does not work. I just mean that although willpower is great but being human we later give in because will power is like a muscle and it gets tired. The more we use it, the stronger it gets but it definitely gets tired.
You can watch triggers continuously and not fap with will power. But after 3 hours of continuous triggers, your willpower will become weak and after 2 more hours you will decide to search porn and after 30 mins you will fap.
It takes great willpower to stop for 5 hours and 30 mins but this is the limitation.
The greatness man achieved was due to willpower. Man got tired but rested and got willpower back to try again until he succeeded. He had no unlimited supply but rest and work was the principle that achieved greatness.

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