[Discussion]A whole new way to look at relapses

So currently, say we have a nice 20 day streak going and we relapse, the counter resets to zero, so does our motivation, you all must be aware of how shitty it feels to have that damn counter back to zero.

But, is it really zero?

I think not, in those 20 days you made some progress, and it’s not all just vanished with a single relapse. So the counter is incorrect.

My proposal: When you relapse, your streak gets cut in half, so your 20 day streak will now become a 10 day streak. Which I think is more accurate representation of your current state. Exactly what amount we should reduce we can discuss and tweak.

One major benefit this method will have is that it will prevent binges, because when your counter gets down to zero, might as well relapse once again am I right? But if it’s a nice 10 days, you definitely don’t wanna get that to 5 days!

So what do you think? A new way to look at relapses? A more growth oriented mindset.

9 Likes

While it has a positive mindset, it is somewhat counter-intuitive. We don’t learn to be honest with ourselves. Having the counter being set to zero has a significance. It is a more accurate representation of life. A lot of times in life, we have to lose everything and start from zero. So, eliminating zero is not a good idea. It is important to start from scratch- again and again. Having the counter ticking even after a relapse will be lying to ourselves.

7 Likes

I dont think that. If you (for example) are doing nofap for cure your erecril disfunction, and you watch porn and masturbate, you will lose all your streak. You wont cure if you dont start again.

2 Likes

I completely agree. After one relapse you will never loose all your progress. Even if you wanna cure PIED. Binging afterwards is a huge problem. And you are right, I guess we need to come up with an idea
Maybe you could implement something that we can choose which system we wanna use?
I personally prefer starting my counter which counts my streak from day 0 since I wanna know how many days I went without porn.
But for my progress I look at the last 3 or so relapses.
I use the currently implemented counter as a streak counter and the last 3 relapses as a progress counter.

Maybe This would be another idea:
You keep the counter implemented as it is with a large number, which counts the current streak (restarts from 0 after relapse). Somewhere either below or on a side (but on the same screen), you could add a smaller counter, which shows something like an average of the last streaks (including the current)
This would mean that the streak does start from zero but on the other hand you have a tool to prevent or discourage from binging

I hope it is clear what I mean :sweat_smile:

3 Likes

I think admin should try this and see if it’s beneficial new ideas are great but lets put them on try

1 Like

The definition of streak counter is to start from zero after a relapse. However, there could be another score that has a different behavior.

2 Likes

We can also have different counters with labels, so that user will have a choice.
To be honest the idea of not losing the whole streak made me think about fapping as there wasn’t much to lose. Maybe its just me.

2 Likes

Yes. It could be 2 counters. One for the current streak, and other one for total days doing nofap.

3 Likes

I think, at the begining of the app, it could be a selecor between 2 modes: Easy (masturbating reduces your counter to its half) Hard (masturbating restart the counter.

3 Likes

I disagree.
It is meaningless for a guy going for a reboot.
We are not here to play some nofap game.

3 Likes

Seems like the general consensus is on keeping the current approach, and if changing the timer in any way, doing it in a way in which the current timer is still intact.

3 Likes

Though it does induce binging… But I think people are using this app to get motivation for their streaks. And as @ReBorn said we are not here to play games, we are here to achieve reboots, get to 100,200 etc days.
However the two counters proposal is very good. @Taher u can make two counters one for the streak and one for total days this app is used with total relapses.

3 Likes

@Taher I agree with your new idea that counter reaching to 0, may give rise to the feeling, that we can relapse in again and it won’t matter, but at the same time for many people this fear that their streak going back to 0 after a certain long streak might help them to deal with their urges.

I feel when the streak is very low let’s say like below 15 days then if a person relapses. Then their streak may decrease by half.

After it crosses let’s say 60 days if someone relapses then their streak may decrease by (1/3)

For a very high streak like 200- 250 days. The deduction should be (1/10) something like that.

Just sharing what’s in my mind. Bro…

3 Likes

I had a lot of moments where I would binge when my counter was reset to zero. I thought instead of trying to increase my streak, I would try to increase my average.

I had a thought, how long between relapses would it take for me to go from an average of 1 per day to an average of once every 10 days. If I had only relapsed once it would take me 10 days to reach an average of 10. Then I asked myself, how long would it take if everytime I reached a new average I relapsed, 1 every 2,3,4,5 etc days would it take me to reach an average of 10… It would take me 120 days to reach it.

So even though it would take me 12 times longer I know that if I pushed myself harder after everytime I relapsed, I could still reach an average of 10.

I can send you a copy of my current spreadsheet if ya like.

2 Likes

@Taher

Look at this picture and read the text below it later.

A suggestion admin.
If you could add a graph.

In mathematical language

Plot (no of nofap days/relapsed) vs time.
I will elaborate it if you want me to !

It will be the transition of your journey in form of
How tough you got over time.

Suppose

I went to day 3 and then relapsed
So ratio will be 3/1 = 3

If next time I relapse was after 6 days so
Total days =9
Total relapsed = 2

Ratio =4.5

If the curve is plotted it will show an upward direction.

I really hope that you understand what I meant.
I am attaching a picture showing the plotting.

4 Likes

Isn’t the statistics rider a good place to monitor the long term progress? I have the feeling people use this part of the app far to little.

Something like this could be done, I’ll try it

1 Like

the only problem i see is, that it only works for people who are new on this / it is not possible to compare my rating with the rating of another person

let’s imagine someone started in the first month with 10 relapses
-> 30/10 = 3
he then goes for a 60 days streak
90/11 = 8

but 8 is a number I will almost never be able to reach
i’m now on month 7. lets assume 10 relapses per month too
-> 210/70 obviously 3 too
but now, if I wanna go to a rating of 8 i would need a streak of about 350 days

1 Like