Dean's Confession

Hey guys didn’t had a personal talk with u guys since a long time .My life is in complete mess right now coz of this masturbation, not able to focus on studies , so joined few study groups. Feeling sad and useless, but I’m ready to stand up again to be a winner …

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Bro you joined in September 13. … It was not such a long time :grin:

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Meanwhile… You will rise it… Just identify the vulnerable period in which you surrender to PMO… It might be An alone time…
Keep track of alone time in confession group… This might make your accountable…

Well I am also Trying this from last 5-6 days. Worked well with me…

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Thnx buddy for tips , I will surely try

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Guys today I relapsed in the morning, then again relapsed in the afternoon… Feeling very disappointed, I broke 2 days streak , need to focus on where I’m going wrong.:pensive::pensive:

I have almost completed my day 3 , idk why I’m not feel like studying , cant focus much , but I used to have better focus than now when I masturbated 1-2 times a day , can someone help , what’s this happening?

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I think some withdrawal symptoms have kicked in.

Also there is a slight chance that with all the studying going on you are in need of a break.

It sounds bad yes and this is cramming time yes I know and you can’t really afford a break or skip day, but instead of being to hard on yourself to know the whole book by the end of the day and study for hours on end remember we also just have like an 45 min window of good or optimal focus at best.

So have a 45 min study session alone avoid studying with someone (as it is less distractions and also false info is cut out in dire times)

And then focus on a 30 min task such as, listening to music or a podcast go for a walk do some exercise ( exercise will reduce stress plus will help with focus and also get more oxygen to the brain which is good for memory retention)

Whilst you study also make it a calm environment so it is easy to enter and stay there and a nice big place so you can walk freely as you recite the work and avoid you favourite music or music with lyrics as you tend to focus maybe more on singing along that to study.

Also chew bubblegum. (Bad habit , but good when it comes to studying). It can help with memory retention if you chew that same flavour in the exam! Also it calms you down and can also relax you in your studies.

The more relaxed the easier it is to focus and to remember more! Even if you motivate yourself to work on a chapter and then work towards 30 mins of game time will also increase your focus and motivate yourself in to focusing more.

Just stay calm and everything will sort itself out.

Good luck and stay strong and awesome !!!

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Thnxs buddy for suggesting me , but now I am fine almost completed 5 days feeling healthy and fit and active.

No problem. :sweat_smile: sorry for the late reply. The topic just had popped up by me this morning and didn’t notice the time stamp. I just read and post according… I am glad that it is going better!

I really hope these tips help! Good luck and stay strong and awesome

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Fck Fck , Urges are becoming damn tough now , I am not able to get back to studies , My head is paining , my eyes are lit bit red since 2 days …
What’s this happening, is it normal or not ???

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In a sense it is normal . Headaches and frequent urges. Typical withdrawal symptom the head ache, maybe the red eyes too as in some cases people get nose bleeds too or are shacking

Don’t wanna scare you as the withdrawal symptoms have a random outcome on people so not everyone will experience nose bleeds or nausea or be shacking or red eyes.

Usaully the headache does occur in all this cases since there is a hormonal imbalance and the body undergoes “adjustment” to handle the imbalance. This can be managed by drinking some painkillers and at best a 30 min nap. ( This is what works the best for me all the time as I tend to get terrible migraines often).

Some mild exercises or something fun ( not talking about fapping), but what makes you happy can help the hormones to normalize since you are running low on "happy hormones " or reward hormones such as dopemine.

Red eyes could mean you are allergic to a flower’s pollen, but can also be associated with sleep deprivation or infection (pink eyes) or mild eye condition like “arch eyes”

Some eyedrops mostly work for this since they calm down and clean the eyes effectively. Consulting with your over the counter ( self help pharmacist) might give you a good recommendation towards drops to be used and whether or not you should consult a doctor or specialist.

Hope this helps bro! I wish you all the best! Good luck and stay strong and awesome!!

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Thnx bro , for suggestion, ur really a helping hand…

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I again won , today urges became of monster level … I went to a room , typed po*n on Google and a porn video appeared in front of me with beautiful Thumbnail … I was abt to start it , but idk what happened, I closed Google quickly and came here … Thnx God I know he is helping me …

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Relapse, Relspse and again a Relapse :sob:.
I’m failing again and again . It’s getting tough , only able to study 3-4. Hrs a day , that too my brain is not supporting to study , I’m going against it to study , and whenever I take break , I don’t feel like going to study room again and. Then relapse happens … How to do , what to do . I can’t think :sob::sob::cry:

First of all, going against study wont work… Because no matter even if you study for 4 hours without focus, you could be absorbing all that in 30 mins with full focus. So its easier if you solve the problem first and then study…

Ask yourself this question, why you dont want to study, why is your brain giving you such a hard time?

Is it because of PMO?
Is it because of other stresses in life?
Is your mind you preoccupied with something?

So solve it first… Then focus on studies…

Secondly, you said masturbation because of not able to focus…
Is it possible that u dont want to study because, then you will be stressed and then it would lead to masturbation? I mean dont want to study so that u could relapse? Its such a hard question to answer and its harder to figure out… So think carefully…

If it is so… Then you have to be strong that, even though I couldn’t focus on studies, I will not masturbate… Overtime you will be able to focus properly… Because by then, your head will figure out that it cant trick you regarding studies…

If it is not like that, u are just relapsing because of studies, then I guess, you really shouldn’t replace one bad with another bad…
We generally want to replace a bad with good… Thats how smoking works, drinking works, basically all the addictions… But as they feel good, our brain thinks its good…coz obviously its dopamine, happy chemical,good… But reality its bad… But thats not how things are supposed to work… We have to deal with each one separately instead of trying to forget one for a while by putting focus on other… For example, we get frustrated at work, instead of trying to undo that frustration, what if we go to bar and take it all out by getting into a fight? Doesn’t work that way, right? its bad for your health…

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No no studies are not the reason I relapse .
Basically when I take break then my brain says don’t go to study again , so I watch some YouTube videos on my Dads phone and using incognito mode I always end up doing relapse .

You have to work on having even more stronger desire about going through No PMO… Something goes on in your mind before relapse… Obviously you know why you started the journey but our mind will counter it with some other reason which seems logical… You have to remember them and fix in your mind why they are not really logical…

I remember a lot of times I relapsed, most common one was, its okay I will quit again as its only been 2 days, 3 days, 1 week etc… My counter would be… Its always going to be the same even after a year, i could repeat the same thing for an year and I wouldn’t ever quit… and there is something else I know, if someone really wants to quit, there is no one last time. A serious one should leave immediately, not tomorrow, not after an hour, now…

During a break, dont open any phone, u can clear your head then, like go onto terrace and look at the nature, or have a walk outside, or meditate a little bit…

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Thnx buddy I’ll try these

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Buddy whats wrong u are on in chaser effect…

Tell me last yhree triggers that made you relapse last three times… You need to fix it…
We are jn this together let’s help out each other

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My trigger is vacant mobile phone when everyone is sleeping in the house . Idk what to do how to prevent [email protected]