Hey guys i am trying to make a consistent journal here to remind me to resist the temptation each time i get the urge. Up until now i have tried everything i moved places, live with new people, unstalled triggering apps,etc. but no matter what it was just a matter of time before i relapsed n i relapsed hard. The damage pmo did to me, i can’t even begin to describe it broke me shattered my dreams. Time and again i tried to quit only to fail witin few days often the same day. I also came to realize that pmo isn’t the main problem nor it’s gonna solve all my problems but i can’t deal with this guilt any much more. I feel awful, i hate to live like this
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If you are addicted to pmo, nobody is ever gonna respect you. I have been addicted to this crap and you know what nobody respected me…i was always kind, would help out others before me, try to be compassionate and nice but in the end what i got??? nothing. It’s true what people who quit this crap have said, your not gonna get respect because you don’t respect yourself first man, everytime you pmo, you disrespect yourself you lose your drive
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It’s not even been 1 day since i relapsed and i already am facing some urges, yesterday i relapsed hard and i hate it. I hate losing to these temptations. My mind feels heavy have no energy but i must carry on. It’s the pit that i dug and only i can decide whether i want to crawl out or rot inside
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Why is pmo so hard to quit??? Apart from the chemical biological reasons i think it also due to our human psychology. Once we get addicted to it, we feel scared anxious just at the thought of quitting it forever because for so long it was our comfort zone. Instead of facing real life and actively trying to come up with solutions we think pmo will take all our problems away. Well the only thing it takes it our illusion. Once that high that fix comes crashing down that horrible feeling that each of one have experienced, drives us even more to succumb again in the future. It’s like your saying goodbye to your close friend your afraid that you will be lonely but in the time of loneliness i found you will grow strong. Nobody’s going to fight this battle of urges for you, all of us are preoccupied with our own problems. Only you can bring yourself out of the pit, no one’s gonna help you. They could support you at times but it’s when you’re by yourself what you decide to do is gonna dictate if you’re really going to stand by your words and quit or just making another false commitments
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It’s hard to resist the temptations, but it’s even more harder to get back up after you relapse. That’s why we have to be strong. It’s not the game of willpower only because i have come to realize willpower is useless in the long run. We have to change our life style, and only way to do that is change small aspect of your life everyday
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There’s a lot of things i want to say, i want friends who understand my struggle because loneliness is one of the worst enemy for recovery. When you are lonely you see no way out, it’s uncomfortable being lonely so we stimulate ourselves with pmo to feel good only to crash out later. I wish i had better communication skills because there’s so much i want to say
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It’s been 3 days, and i have to admit i am feeling temptations every now and then . I don’t have anything to do…i don’t work…i go to college 2 times a week…i am searching for work so i can be busy yet i feel sleepy and lazy all the time…
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I have failed… again, countless times. How do i get up, how do i fight against my …own mind…
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I have failed 
I had got up 
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hey @John22 hows the progress? i really hope you make it mate
I am failing every 2-3 days mann…i cant think straight. I don’t even crave it but i feel miserable,aimless and get panic and anxiety so much i cant even fall asleep. I just relapsed last night it was horrible, i feel broken I don’t even know what to say…i live alone man…i honestly feel sorry for my parents they have no idea their only son is addicted to filth and acting like degenerate. In my deep heart, i want to change yet due to almost daily pmo from all these pmo years >10 years, i have so hard time maintaining self control, i can go for 1 day then boom next day i relapse
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If you can go for one day, then you can go for one day, and then one day, and then one day; that’s 3 days. Break it down into one days. Focus on each and every day like it’s your last chance to get out, because if you keep on falling back then you’ll never get out man. Spend more time with us on here. We’ll help you because, you can see yourself, this community is absolutely awesome. I’ve been trapped too for the last 2 weeks. It’s been hell. But we can, day by day.
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man… i feel what u feel, really. i understand the feeling of being trapped in the chain of addiction and how helpless and frustrated i feel for being stupid to fall again and again into the same puddle.
the advice that i can tel to you is:
- don’t spend time alone: especially in the early streaks. spend most of your time with others, like friends or family. have a good time that can distract you from pmo thoughts.you can also spend you time doing productive things, but the presence of others also matters.
- know where you were when u did pmo stuff and avoid that place (again, especially in the early streaks). for me, i don’t sleep in my room, but rather on the sofa in main room.
- know the stimuli that trigger u. for me, i deleted all my social media apps (except WhatsApp which doesn’t have content like others apps, nothing pornographic)
- @Sampanyo is right. try to spend more time in this community, but don’t make it an addiction too (like if you spend too much time when things that more are productive are undone). try to join the challenge. u can join the no-fap hard mode challenge like me if you want
when you achieve more streaks, you can reward yourself. the reward doesn’t have to big. it can be small but make you happy. for example, you can come back to sleep in your own room or eat snacks that you forbid yourself to eat as punishment in the first 2 days after PMO.
i hope this helpfull.
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Thanks for the encouragement brothers, i really appreciate it. It’s not like that i never managed to have decent streaks, i have many small ones…last year i managed to go on almost 3 months no pmo but that was mainly because i was living with group of roommates and also change of environment. But, you know when you have been addicted for so long there are a lot of times when you just want to give up trying to quit because you become tired of trying. That’s the case with me, been addicted since my early teens to my mid 20s now, when i was at my lowest point i almost gave up on life itself. The only reason that kept me going are my parents as i am their only son and it is my responsibility to look after them.
I have know this community/app since 2019, before that i also used to look into other forums like reddit nofap and stuff. To be honest with you guys, i have been trying to quit pmo since 2016, but at that time my addiction wasn’t this severe nor i had constant access to P. It’s cost me so much in life but i still go back to it after some time whether it’s chaser effect or lack of willpower i hate when that happens because it feels near impossible to get back on track
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One of the worst thing while quitting pmo addiction or any bad habits is how easily our brains forget the pain, the harmful effects,the regrets, the anguish in such a few days and trick us into believing everything’s fine and it’s OK to give in because after all you have come this far. It’s scary that our own minds become our strongest enemy when trying to get free from addiction
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Dora the rock you can break anything you just need to find it 
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My mind is my worst enemy, I have 0 self control, I am broken inside
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I’ve been there, keep going!
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Keep going? Until when? Until i run out of breath, until i become dust? I am tired, i am tired of everything at some point i look and see no point in living…why was i even born? I am sick of myself my parents didn’t deserve to have a pathetic son like me, i shouldn’t have exist…i hate it … everyday everything feels like chore to me
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Why don’t u change all these things then ? Your life trajectory is in your hand, turn it towards the right path. Do the required work, don’t overthink. At the end you are a man, you have all the strength already…just needs to be discovered in darkness of pmo and brain fog.
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