Yep, I’m from India.
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Yea, bro. From India (20 characters)
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Dayum boy, I didn’t know 
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Alright.
Keep going strong
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2023-02-22T16:08:00Z
Another day spent fighting urges. Wasted too much time on YouTube. Did some boxing workout just now. Will soon have dinner and then go to sleep. I’ll sleep outside today because I feel something needs to change. I’ve entered a vicious cycle of getting up late everyday, studying absolutely nothing the entire day and then going to bed very late at night.
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I also didn’t study much today. But getting serious tomorrow. Can’t procastinate
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2023-02-23T17:36:00Z
Woke up at 9am today and immediately took a cold shower. I know guys, I woke up late. Couldn’t sleep outside last night because of mosquitoes 
. Anyways, day started off good but soon became quite bland. Did study today, but as usual, I’m not satisfied. Workout got interrupted because of some work. I still managed to do a good number of pushups, few pull-ups and jumpropes.
Urges popped up here and there throughout the day. Sometimes I shunned them immediately, sometimes I entertained them for a while (microdosing dopamine) before shutting them down. Never lost control though. I’m winning this battle against PMO but on every other front, I’m either fighting a losing battle or there’s a stalemate.
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A construction of a wall starts with a brick bit by bit followed with cement to a such point it now becomes a wall
Like that day by day tackle it as a new day with its challenge you will see how much you have progressed
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Remember bro we are escaping the matrix of PMO, once you go beyond day 30 it will be much easier, but until then, hang on there. 
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2023-02-24T19:07:00Z
I relapsed just now. Watched porn too. Don’t feel like writing anything here. All I can say is I haven’t given up.
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There is no gain without pain
No hardship without ease
We only grow by our lesson LEARNT from mistake we did
You know everything yes you relapsed but i want you to ask your self these 3 questions
1)who are you?
2)what was my plan, my goal ??
3)what am doing about it?
Repeat it everyday so that it stick to your mind to remind you about your goals
There is no way you can beat this challenge without falling into its trap the only difference that appears is that those who learn from that only grow, the rest keep shitty thoughts about it
Lets go bro you aint failing this time talk to inner self that want to make you lika a bitc*
Bro life always have different ways it teaches us
So move on with it or be stuck with it the choice is yours and its YOU who DECIDES
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2023-02-27T14:49:00Z
Relapsed 3 days in a row. Gonna get back on track now.
Had to attend a wedding today but didn’t feel like going. Probably because I had relapsed in the afternoon. Missed an opportunity to meet new people and polish my social skills. I would’ve definitely attended the wedding had my brain not turned into a mush from three consecutive days of PMO.
No substantial study in the last 3 days. Skipped workouts too. Did do some boxing to add at least one positive activity to my day.
No boxing or workout today though. Today was a waste of my life. Watched YouTube all day. Relapsed to PM&O in the afternoon. Downloaded and played a mobile game for hours in the evening (uninstalled it now). Didn’t even take a bath in the morning (I will, before going to bed).
I hate what I’ve become. These shouldn’t be the struggles of a grown man.
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Bro , you are like my other version… So let’s fight this fuckin* dopamine addiction. And win over it obtain peace…
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2023-03-02T13:33:00Z
Relapsed again!
I quit my job in December so that I could have had more time to study for an exam (NEET-PG).
Instead, I’m wasting my time jerking off to porn.
If it was not for the financial safety net laid out for me by my parents, I would’ve ended up on the streets and died. That’s how complacent PMO makes you. I’m 28 now and have contributed exactly zero to society. I still get nervous like a child when I have to deal with people in the bank, office, shop, a stranger at my doorstep. I struggle to hold my own. How am I supposed to look after my family then? I don’t deserve a wife or a child. I’ll just fail them.
I feel like running away from home and let the world force my hand. Maybe when it’s do or die, I’ll finally wake up… or be gone for good
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Bro I completely can relate with you there, sending my virtual hugs. How you described yourself is literally a mirror of me and yeah even yesterday, I had an evening dinner together with my colleagues and one of my colleague said I am quiet silent, if only I had something to talk about, wasting time on PMO had made me realise that I spent my time on shit that’s why I have least things to talk about while people who were outspoken had done so many things in life that they can talk about anything. I also use to have this same problems of social anxiety but now at some level because of say work and interacting with more people, I am atleast not totally silent. Get up again bro, dont let your mind tell you anything shitty, you are not that low. Think of your life goals, and don’t think too much about the future focus on your current life goals.
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Sorry to hear that,
I can understand how stressful it is when you are supposed to study but you are unable to do it. Right now, I am in somewhat similar condition as yours. I have most important exams of my life in November and here I am wasting my time on ■■■■, youtube, etc. I can’t imagine what will happen if I fail to clear it. My parents have so much hope from me that I will get ourselves out of this lower middle class life and here I am wasting time on my phone which brings short term pleasure and adds zero contribution to my personality. Sometimes I really feel crying that why we got exposed to this ■■■■ world and why did we fall for this chronic addiction.
But I think we have very less time to recover now, It’s high time we put our 100% efforts in studies. For this moment, just lie to your mind that you will watch ■■■■ after exams. I recommend you trying an app called stayfree, It has some very cool features. You can customise your usage limits by different ways and set a pin so that you won’t be able to change them.( My sister has set the pin for me)
I was similar to this a year ago but now I have some little improvements in it. The thing which helped me is the mindset that Noone cares about you that much , Everyone got their own problems. Just open your mouth and speak, start with your locals , friends and relatives. And for now , I would say you don’t need to focus that much on your other skills right now. There is a limit on your focus span, Put your 100% to studies for now. You can work on your personality after your exams (assuming there is no interview for selection).
I recommend you starting workout and meditation(around 15 mins each). It’s been only two days for me doing this and I can already feel a bit better.
Goodluck to you brother, We will surely get out of this trap.
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Thanks for the kind words guys @LL667788 @PaperBoat .
There’s some solace in the fact that I’m not alone in this fight.
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2023-03-07T05:35:00Z
Quick update: Just letting all my well-wishers know I’m still here. Was struggling with chaser effect (Man, that shit is real!). Didn’t want to write a lot of negative stuff here so took a break from making journal entries. Will resume now, but I might not update every day.
Exam is over. Didn’t go well so don’t ask. Gotta find a new job. But I’m thinking of solo travelling before I start my job-hunt.
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Exams should not define your purpose in life. There is greater opportunities in life than exams.
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2023-03-15T14:45:00Z
I spent most of my time on YouTube for the last few days. Mostly watching useless shorts, but also learned a little video editing. Have a lot of work to do, all the way from boring official work viz. taxes and bank stuff to trivial things like getting my bike serviced. Have to find a new job too. That plan to travel before getting a new job never got past the planning stage.
The results of the exam that I took on 5th March are in and I didn’t score enough to get a college or stream of my choice.
I don’t know what else to share with you guys. My life isn’t that exciting… YET!
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