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Hi @Grax
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Peace be with you
21 September - Day 2 - NoPMO Hard Mode
Day 2 completed. Felt total emptiness today. Couldn’t study. Felt fear of being lost. I’m unable to dive in any activity and there’s always a monkey at back of my mind. I’ve become weak. But I won’t give up. Now I will never watch porn and will never lust.
Week 46 - SaturDay 6 - Sep 21 - Hard Mode
Ok not gonna lie. It was a bad day from start. Had some bad dreams, then thoughts hovering all time in morning walk. My past is haunting me again. Sometimes I think if not for Fapping, I could’ve been an Anti-social person/psychopath.
Had those immoral dreams return when I slept in evening due to headache. Suddenly, I woke up n run to toilet, but ejaculated already. For the fucks sake, spare me. It’s becoming depressing now. Sorry guys.
Loser.
Week 46 - Saturday
Thank you @Special_Bird for the support, I appreciate it!
As for today, I did look at P in the afternoon, I think I’m falling into the chaser effect, urges are less controllable and I’m less motivated to fight them, but I don’t want to fall back into PMO again, I hope to sort this out quickly!
Week 46 ~ Saturday
All good Thanks be to God alone
Week 46, Saturday, Septemper 21. Five days
Until this moment, I have managed to ignore FIVE urges on this streak.
@Positivebloke That was really beautiful. It’s very rare to see this kind of experience shared here! We are so focused in improving our lives, most of the time… You were part of something big, I appreciate your sharing.
@Forerunner That’s a great insight! Never thought of it. It gets harder because we don’t see ourselves doing it, we anxiously imagine an already improved version of us doing it… We are putting us down all the time, we don’t believe fully on our actual potential. Thanks man, that was some precious input.
@staybusymymotto @rowdy_nik It’s so frustrating, isn’t it? Damn, I think I can’t take any more frustrations… We all have our weaknesses, it’s human, it’s acceptable. You are strong because you you are fighting. Let’s keep fighting.
DAY 205 200+ ‘Double Century’ completed
Week 46
Check in… Mon, Tue, Wed, Thu, Fri, Sat, Sunday
All GOOD
Coming up next… 7 Month
Thank you guys for your support. Atleast I have totally stopped watching ■■■■ & continuous relpases. @anon67854825 @Juvenal
Week 8 - Sep 22, Sun - Streak: 27 days
@Positivebloke Thanks man! Will do. Also great post yourself, a very enlightening read.
As for me, good day today. It was my sister’s birthday party, so all the family was over. And when it got late, we all went and explored this building that is under construction. So a good day indeed.
No big urges today either, maybe a little bit here and there, but I just keep reminding myself of the reasons why I never want to go back, all of those consequences. And if the urge gets stronger then I hop on this app and read the message board.
There has been this song that I really like, if you guys are from the US you have probably heard it, but maybe not. I feel that it has been the song that reminds me of the state of being that I don’t want to go back to. It’s that melancholy place where you never feel like your going anywhere even though you keep trying to run from all that hurts you. I see it as the place I am in when I am in the throes of my addiction. The place where my life never really gets to its destination.
This is my streak, I am going to make it.
“Know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor”
-Henry David Thoreau
Check-in👍
Sunday
Haven’t had any urges today, surprisingly
All good
22 September - Day 3 - NoPMO Hard Mode
Day 3 completed. Have lost all desires to achieve something in life. Feeling empty. But won’t relapse. Pray for me. My followers remind me that if I relapse it’ll be unjust for them. That gives me strength.
Checking in - All good
Week 46 - September 22, Sunday
I’m praying for you @staybusymymotto
It seem harder when stating ‘Hard Mode’
It likes saying to the devil “get out of this house”
He will do anything to get back in.
I pray that you stay your ground and the distractions dissipate.
We should pray the same for @rowdy_nik also ‘Hard Mode’
Kudos to you both for taking the hard road
Thank you bro to keeping us in your prayers I pray for us n everyone suffering from this.
@staybusymymotto is doing good. Hard mode after rewiring for a month. Stay strong brother. Flame On
Week 46 - SunDay 7 - Sep 22
Here’s to 7 s in Week 47 scoreboard
Checking in - Sunday 22nd September. All good, thank GOD.
“I’m not telling you it is going to be easy. I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it.”
Unknown
To call this journey challenging is like calling the Titanic a boat. It can be really, really hard. We have serious withdrawal symptoms, experience urges so strong our heads might split if we don’t deal with them, and feel crippling guilt, shame and regret. On one hand, we question why we keep returning to this self-destructive habit, while on the other we wonder why we’re even fighting and haven’t given up yet.
But it’s worth it on the other side. To regain your sense of personal integrity and self-control. To live according to your values. To have confidence and self-esteem return in great strides. Depression, anger and social anxiety falling away. Improved physical and mental health through better habits. Feeling deeper love, peace and joy in your life. Knowing that you have what it takes to meet the challenges in your life. It’s definitely worth it.
Week 46 ~ Sunday
It’s been a nice day, Thanks be to God
I went to morning Mass, sang.
Went shopping. Coffee & cake, a drive in the English countryside - enjoyed its beauty, the trees. Saw some amazing Lebanese Cedars. Lots of firs, pines, spruces amazing ;^^;
Exercised, learnt some new ones.
Learnt a few scriptural things from a YouTube fitness coach which relate to nofap.
Bought Gary Wilson’s ‘Your Brain on ■■■■’
Took a nap, cooked Japanese rice to go with the meal that my friend had prepared, ate, watched a film. I’m very fortunate
Week 46, Sunday, Septemper 22. Six days.
So little, but I’m feeling really better than last week. I’ve got to remain calm and alert.
Until this moment, I have managed to ignore FIVE urges on this streak.
Have a nice week, people!