Thank you bro to keeping us in your prayers 
I pray for us n everyone suffering from this.
@staybusymymotto is doing good. Hard mode after rewiring for a month. 
Stay strong brother. 
Flame On 
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Week 46 - SunDay 7 - Sep 22
Here’s to 7 
s in Week 47 scoreboard
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Checking in - Sunday 22nd September. All good, thank GOD.
“I’m not telling you it is going to be easy. I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it.”
Unknown
To call this journey challenging is like calling the Titanic a boat. It can be really, really hard. We have serious withdrawal symptoms, experience urges so strong our heads might split if we don’t deal with them, and feel crippling guilt, shame and regret. On one hand, we question why we keep returning to this self-destructive habit, while on the other we wonder why we’re even fighting and haven’t given up yet.
But it’s worth it on the other side. To regain your sense of personal integrity and self-control. To live according to your values. To have confidence and self-esteem return in great strides. Depression, anger and social anxiety falling away. Improved physical and mental health through better habits. Feeling deeper love, peace and joy in your life. Knowing that you have what it takes to meet the challenges in your life. It’s definitely worth it.
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Week 46 ~ Sunday
It’s been a nice day, Thanks be to God 
I went to morning Mass, sang.
Went shopping. Coffee & cake, a drive in the English countryside - enjoyed its beauty, the trees. Saw some amazing Lebanese Cedars. Lots of firs, pines, spruces amazing ;^^;
Exercised, learnt some new ones.
Learnt a few scriptural things from a YouTube fitness coach which relate to nofap.
Bought Gary Wilson’s ‘Your Brain on ■■■■’
Took a nap, cooked Japanese rice to go with the meal that my friend had prepared, ate, watched a film. I’m very fortunate
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Week 46, Sunday, Septemper 22. Six days.
So little, but I’m feeling really better than last week. I’ve got to remain calm and alert.
Until this moment, I have managed to ignore FIVE urges on this streak.
Have a nice week, people!
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Week 8 - Sep 22, Sun - Streak: 28 days
@staybusymymotto I’m praying man! Don’t lose hope dude, I know that feeling when all the motivation to continue and achieve in life goes down the drain when you are trying to come up from the bottom. Remember that it’s all your brain tricking you into relapsing again, but the reality is all those feelings will leave, and better ones will replace them once you get farther.
Feelings are subject to change, but the path to success doesn’t. You got this man! Stay strong!
As for me, having major urges today, I keep battling myself, I will open up steam to go look at raunchy games, then I will battle myself over clicking on them, then close the app. I want to so bad, but I won’t! I cannot. To throw it all away now, God forbid man, this stuff is freaking ridiculous. Strongest urges for this entire streak!
I think it originated from my stress today over turning in a big project, worried about my grade, and then of course I have a big calculus exam this week. So the stress is getting to me, at least subliminally, so I’m having urges.
But it’s so weird, I can’t pinpoint it, but the urges this time are so strong. It’s not a clear argument this time, it’s more like a feeling of finality. Like it’s making me feel like this is my only option. Maybe like fighting is pointless, or rather it was never my goal. Such a strange feeling, but powerful. And yet, as I expose it, it is losing power.
So I shall continue to try to work it out so that I may counter it’s argument, bare with me because I am experiencing this as I am writing this:
(EDIT AFTER FINISHED WRITING: Sorry if this dialogue is a bit convoluted, it is my exact thoughts as I thought them, writing it down as I worked through them. I am not presenting what the urges are saying, only my responses)
It is the feeling like I should just do it. Drop what I am doing and relapse. It is the necessary action. But truly there is nothing necessary about it. What meaning does it give to me? Yes, it provides pleasure, but where will it take me after the pleasure. After the burst of dopamine. I am not subject to animal instincts, I am human. That makes me strong.
“Really” I ask it, “What can you give me other than 20 seconds of pleasure?”
“Ah, an hour of pleasure, well that’s not much better, is it. Is that all you have?”
“What I mean to say is that I have my entire life ahead of me in this moment, every time I listen to you I lose time. And you may say that it is only this time or I will never want to go back after dealing with you, but I really will want to leave. I have everytime”
" Tell me, will seeing these beautiful women will solve my problems? Or will it only prevent me from finding a women of my own. You see all of your arguments are useless. You offer nothing but false pleasure, false satisfaction, and false fulfillment.
Why would I give up everything I have in the pursuit of emptiness. 28 days! It has taken me all my being to be in this moment, to be where I am. I have wanted to be clean for so long. It will always be a dream if I give up now. My life will never move forward, I’ll be stuck in ice as I watch my friends and family move on and be happy. I will watch as you control my life and take all that I have. My relationships, my youth, my motivation, my confidence, my grades, my future.
Who will I be if I relapse? Who will I be if I turn around again? Who will I be if I sacrifice who I am for what I superficially want?
Will I really be myself? Is that really who I am? Would the real me inside do that? Would “SpecialBird” do that?
He wouldn’t. So who would I be? I can answer that. 5 years in addiction, look where I was. Depressed, weak, emotional, self-seeking, lazy, and moving to progressively weirder porn which was absolutely disgusting. That wasn’t me when I started PMO, that isn’t the true “SpecialBird”.
Now think 10 years down the line. My previous experience tells me that the trend doesn’t get any better. And by 15 years, 20, 25?? That will be a wildly different person. A new person takes over.
We all have that alternative person. We have our true selves, but we have this alternate future self that is a real possibility, someone we wouldn’t even recognize. PMO doesn’t just demand one night of obedience, it wants your entire life.
I can’t become that, but if I relapse tonight, I will become that if decide once again to move a step in that direction, to walk that way. There’s only two people I can be, me or them. And when I make conflicting steps, it tears me apart because I’m not following who I want to be. I am trying to be two separate people.
I can’t do that to myself. I deserve better."
This is my streak, I am going to make it.
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Week 46 - Sunday
I relapsed before going to bed. My will to fight is weak again, need to regroup and build new and strong foundations for my new streak!
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Country name :- India🇮🇳
Code:-hlpbwj
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Check-in, Monday
All good!
@staybusymymotto, calm down. Close your eyes. Focus on your breathing.
Don’t struggle in getting rid of thoughts, let them come & go. 
I know the struggle, that feeling. We all know.
That is why this group exists.
Anything on your mind, write it down in the tiniest detail possible. Gets off a lot of load from your mind.
@Special_bird
You describe situations so well 
That’s something I often struggle with while writing down thoughts.
I read your post & I go like “yeah, exactly! I’ve felt that before”
It’s something I do when I just don’t feel like doing anything.
Suddenly, I lose motivation to do anything at all.
Then, I start doing something what I call “trigger hunting”, just spending time looking for some content on the internet that drives me back to PMO.
I can’t describe it further, not better than you have… you already know.
This is the streak that’s taking you to freedom.
No matter what, relapse is not an option.
Stay Strong, Stay Mindful 
I’ve got exams in less than 80 days.
Now suddenly I see kilograms of pages that’ve been left to read.
It’s a huge load.
High stress.
I’ll have to work very very hard to complete the entire syllabus.
It is too vast. 80 days don’t seem enough. No.
Now I see how much of the entire year I wasted screwing around 
I’m early rising again. 4 am everyday
I am being productive
Mindful
& Calm. These 2 months, while I was away from rewire companion, I spent the whole time trying ways to get self control.
I don’t know what much has changed, but I feel proud to have become a meditation veteran.
I am emotionally more stable.
I can now easily change & have control on my thoughts & feelings.
& Now I see the way out. With meditation.
Every single thing I do, is an extention of meditation.
I might make an entire post dedicating to the aspects of meditation seriously.
But still, there’s lot for me to learn & master.
It’s a start.
I might write less frequently in here, l have got lots to study.
Good day 
P.S.: Yesterday, One of my friends texted me the link of a ■■■■ video.
It was right there, one click away.
I politely refused to watch. Told him I was rewiring
& He deleted the message 
I feel proud to have done that 
I’m literally writing anything that’s coming to my head 
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I noticed that I have not been checking in as regular as before.
Experience told me that this could lead to bad things.
So far it hasn’t but I need to keep this new habit going.
Checking in Monday 23rd September
All is good and 3 more days I reached a month of no fap.
I am determined to keep this habit of checking in
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Checking in - All good
Week 47 - September 23, Monday
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23 September - Day 4 - NoPMO Hard Mode
Self harming overthinking tendencies have started showing up. They want me to harm myself by my negative thoughts (not physically) so that I feel further disgusted by myself. And then escape to pornography. This is the usual pattern. But I’ve vowed. I won’t give up. As a kid we all never used to even go near porn. Now we want excuses to watch porn. We subconsciously deceive ourselves to watch porn. I’ve vowed. I won’t even have glimpse of porn or nudity.
As always, pray for me.
Special mention: @Special_Bird I’m your follower. I daily watch your streak. We’re almost at same streak with not more than a week difference. Please don’t relapse. We both will do it together.
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Checking in - Monday 23rd September. All good, thank GOD.
@Special_Bird That dialogue was phenomenal!
@Positivebloke Great job with your friend yesterday! Don’t worry, you can learn what you need to within the next two months. Break it down into manageable portions and focus on the material you have the least understanding of first, and continue from there.
@anon67854825 Delighted to see you’ve purchased Your Brain on Porn! Amazing book.
@Gk-00 Rise again brother. We’re all supporting you. Hold on tight to your strong reasons for quitting and let them replenish your fuel. GOD bless you.
“Singleness of purpose is one of the chief essentials for success in life, no matter what may be one’s aim.”
John D. Rockefeller
We’re up against the world’s toughest addiction to quit. The book Your Brain on Porn confirmed this for me. Search the forums on Reddit and you’ll see many people who have quit addictions to cocaine, heroin, alcohol and cigarettes, yet have not managed to beat this one yet.
When you think about it for a second, it makes sense why it’s so tough. It’s very easy to relapse. We don’t have to spend money buying drugs or booze. We never run out of pornography to watch. We have our devices with us all the time. We can engage within our bedrooms and living rooms, our showers, in a public restroom or the toilets at work. And with years of practice, we’ve learned how to cover our tracks and avoid getting caught. There are no marks on our bodies or smells of liquor or cigarettes on our breath. People around us are none the wiser.
But the incredible fact is that people have beat it, and continue to beat it every day. We have people around us in this community who have passed 400 days, 600 days, even 1000 days and beyond.
By being definite in our reasons why we want to be free, and focusing on those reasons every single day, we can move forward. It is those reasons that will make us stop and think before falling back into old habits. And by moving daily towards the positive, clean, free and happy life we want to live, we too will be able to say we beat the world’s toughest addiction.
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Checking in. Day #06 (Tuesday, 24 Sept)
Feeling good , trying to focus on my studies. Started meditation from yesterday. Chanting Gayatri mantra after meditation and following the normal routine. I think our brain is fond of addiction I figured this thing out while meditation that now my brain wants some other addiction and I started wasting time on TV and Mobile phone. But, I found this thing on time and m going to stop any kind of addiction.
Strategy: simple don’t fap, don’t watch lusty things cuz lust can destroy anything. And FOCUS on studies.
At the end sorry for my terrible english (it’s not my mother tongue)
A quote to motivate u all:-
“Sensuality destroys life, lustre, strength, vitality, memory, wealth, great fame, holiness and devotion to the Supreme”
-Lord Krishna
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Week 47 - Monday
Relapsed. I’m not committed to no PMO in this moment, need to refresh myself why I do this! @Forerunner want to be up there with you one day, I need to reignite this flame!
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Week 47 ~ Monday
All good All praise to God
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Week 46: checking in - Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday
All good . Sorry for being inconsistent .
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Week 9 - Sep 23, Mon - Streak: 29 days
@Positivebloke Thank you man! My hope would be that you would find parts of your own experience in my post and that would be helpful. I always read posts from others who have made it farther than me and I think the same things about them. They write everything in a way I can relate to on a deep level.
I figure it is learning to write what is going on in your head. To really be able to describe every thought. I think when we are 100% honest with our thoughts on here, it starts to hit on a deeper level for everyone. But it is hard, very hard. Last night, it was like walking through a thick fog, I couldn’t quite make out what was going on. But I definitely got closer to it. Hopefully that will improve with practice.
By the way, you write really well too, I always look forward to reading your posts. The “trigger hunting” is a great term for it, and probably the source of my every relapse. It’s a very deceiving rabbit hole.
I think you and me are in similar spots in life, school and all that. I currently have midterms this week and the following weeks. So I am definitely feeling your stress man! But we got this. I might suggest that you still make this forum a priority. I know at least for me, it is very helpful to write out my thoughts after a stressful day of studying and labs. Prevents me from losing sight of my goals. But obviously I don’t know your schedule, so make sure to take care of yourself most importantly!
Stay strong
@staybusymymotto I won’t dude! And thank you for the mention! It means a lot to me.
But make sure to rid yourself of those thoughts. I used to be there and I know how destructive it is. But remember that you, the real you isn’t like this. That the real you is a good person, a genuine person, and a worthwhile person.
Don’t let PMO deceive you
You are not your addiction! You deserve more than this man! You are someone great waiting to break free to show the world your potential.
So get rid of those thoughts! Do not let them take hold, they will only break you down more. It is another one of PMO’s tricks, another relapse waiting to happen.
You will only escape this if you realize how great of a person you are aside from your actions. The real you never wanted this. That’s what’s important, that is your strength. This addiction has nothing on us when we learn to separate who we are and what we can become, from the behaviors and traits of our addiction.
Get back up! Fight again, you will win
But let perseverance take hold in your spirit,
Journal all those thoughts that you have here, all those self-defeating thoughts. Work through them as you write and watch them lose their power. Don’t worry if it is a long post, we are all here to support each other.
One more day until I reach 30 days clean from PMO!
I came home today very tired, no sleep, and worked hard to get through the classes for today.
By the time it came time to go to bed, my willpower was depleted and withering. I once again had some of the strongest urges, but I opened this app quickly. I wasn’t going to fall.
Still though, I didnt know if was going to make it. But once I read all of your replies, I actually kind of got a knot in my throat, I felt a little teary eyed. And I actually had to blurt out some praises. Which is saying a lot because I don’t get that way for anything.
I realized once again that this journey is 100% worth it. I don’t ever want to go back. Tomorrow is one month clean and I can’t wait. I haven’t been clean for that long in over 2 years. This community and specifically this thread has helped me to find my inner strength and confidence. I have realized the power of journaling and working through my thoughts. And I have realized that I am not this addiction.
Thank you guys! Together, we will make it out of this terrible pit and experience our lives the way we were always meant to live them.
This is my streak, I am going to make it.
“I understood myself only after I destroyed myself. And only in the process of fixing myself, did I know who I really was.”
-Sade Andria Zabala
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fw5jn0
From HK
My first day on this dairy challenge.
Serveral times of urges on my third day. It it quite distracting. I hope my urges will decrease day by day.
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