24 September - Day 5 - NoPMO Hard Mode
I was having total mind blockage. I cheated a bit and imagined porn. Trust me, that is way better than watching porn. Imagining it somehow clears it from our subconscious memory I guess and it slowly fades away. Its also harmful no doubt. But in times of urge, it’s much better than actually watching porn.
Check-in, Tuesday.
@Forerunner
Thank you so much 
You are filled with energy man 
Since I’ve mastered meditation, I’m kind of enjoying studies.
To study, I always convince myself to just read one word
I don’t plan, don’t keep goals. Just read one word, now.
I eventually end up reading pages, word by word.
But also, most of the times, I get lost in thoughts. Alot.
Meditation has helped me manage them, but still. They just run for hours.
By the way,
Congratulations on reaching 3 digit streak! 
@Special_Bird
I think I’m feeling that power in journalism too! 
This app makes things better because there’s actually someone out there who’ll read it, who’ll understand it, who’ll be able to relate, & support.
I know, this forum will be my priority
Pain feels less painful when shared
@staybusymymotto
Imagining ■■■■ maybe better than watching it.
But friend, It becomes powerful if you give more time to it.
It might make urges stronger.
Most of the time, I avoid imagining.
Sometimes even I end up getting lost in such day dreams.
Try changing your mind when these fantasies come.
Meditation has helped me.
Maybe it’ll help you too
Okay so this happened today.
That friend I talk about, who had sent me the link.
He actually showed me the video when he sat next to me in class today.
I couldn’t help but watch 
Not because I wanted to.
It didn’t trigger me.
Apparently, the video is like a funny adult parody.
There is pornographic video, & it’s nudity, but the audio is changed.
There was bgm & soundtracks of minecraft (videogame) in it with every scene.
A minecraft player would relate to those sounds & laugh with disgust.
Neither was I angry on my friend, nor was I being evasive. I just became confused. And annoyed.
Back at home, the images pop-up in my head.
A part of me (Negativebloke) tells me - “Now that you’ve already seen it, you might have to reset your streak anyway, you lose. So just relapse & end this entirely.”
I’m fighting negativebloke now, “It wasn’t my mistake. I wasn’t ready, neither was I interested.
It just happened so fast. I couldn’t react.”
“But you watched it anyway, you could have fought, you could’ve warned him, you could have escaped. You didn’t. You accepted it.
Just look at it again, masturbate & end this. Start afresh with a new streak”
I’m frustated
I don’t have any explanation.
That video, though nude & sexual, it didn’t seduce me.
I was just disgusted.
Also, I was more focused on the minecraft joke it offered along with it.
Should I consider this as a relapse & reset my streak?
Please let me know 
Apart from that, all good.
Good night companions
Day# 07 (Wed, 25sept; time:-12:12 AM)
Checking in. All good. Keeping myself busy in studies.
Thanks a lot to this community finally I achieved and completed the one week challenge. Feeling proud and emotional. Looking forward for it.
Again thanks a lot guys for support and blessings.
Checking in - Tuesday 24th September. All good, thank GOD.
@staybusymymotto Glad that you recognised fantasizing is harmful. It provides temporary relief, but cravings for pornography come back stronger the next time. It reinforces the pathways in the brain which lead us back to PMO, and makes it much harder to quit.
@Positivebloke Don’t think too much about whether or not the material aroused you. We want to stay away from all types of pornography. Continue with your streak, but make a commitment to stay clean and keep away from videos like that. Don’t let Negativebloke get you down. Consider what will happen if this friend shares videos like this again, and what you will do in that scenario.
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.”
Zig Ziglar
Everyone at some point in recovery reaches that stage where they say, "This is it, I really have to stop this time. I don’t care what it takes, I’m doing it. Never again." And they push on beautifully for a few days, or even a few weeks. But they slowly start backsliding - looking up celebrities on Instagram, watching sexual music videos, aimlessly browsing memes and subconsciously looking for NSFW material. Then they go back to PMO.
What happened was as time went on, they forgot their commitment to themselves, left behind their strong reasons for quitting and lost momentum. The addicted brain is so used to going back to PMO. It does everything it can to avoid thinking about the consequences of our actions. We have to remind it daily of why we are on this journey and the beautiful lives we want to live, free and clean. When we can clearly see the consequences before acting, we greatly increase our chances of choosing wisely.
Week 47 ~ Tuesday
All good Thank You Lord
Week 9 - Sep 24, Tues - Streak: 30 days!!
@NoahHawkz Welcome to the thread man! Glad to see you joined! Just a note on your urges, it’s different for everyone, but personally I find that I have far less urges by day 5. But watch out, the urges may get less frequent but when they do hit, they are powerful.
I think this is because your brain is starting to desparately want it’s usual routine. Stay strong though, they will pass.
Good luck man!
@Positivebloke That is so true, it makes ten times the difference when you aren’t just speaking to the wall. This is not a journey I believe someone can do alone. Humans are social creatures. And especially considering this addiction tends to feed into a cycle of shame and guilt, it is so important that we see that we are not alone, but even more so that we are greater than this addiction. I don’t think any of us would be able to see that if it wasn’t for the help of others. Amazing stuff really.
By the way, I wouldn’t listen to Negativebloke either. I had a similar hiccup two nights ago where I was watching this Netflix series with my family and this scene came on that showed a bunch of nudity. I naturally looked away as I always do before the scene came on, but my mom mistakenly said it was over before it actually was. So when I turned around there was a sex scene happening and a lot of nudity. I felt guilty afterwards and felt like I could have done something else to prevent that, but I quickly pushed those feelings away.
Those kinds of things have happened before. And they can usually go one of two ways. One, you feel guilty about it and you keep wondering if you should just relapse or not. But all the while, you end up still imagining the scene over and over in your head. And while it may not have been arousing at the time, it starts to become arousing because you are thinking about it. And eventually you relapse.
But the other way it can go is to remind yourself that these things happen and we don’t always make the best decision in the heat of the moment. But that doesn’t mean we meant to see it, or that we should therefore give up. Instead rid all thoughts about it from your brain. It was a mistake, and leave it at that. Throw away all future thoughts or imaginings of the scene (or better yet, imagine a big, red, exploding X over the image every time it comes up, it seriously helps, thanks to Forerunner for that tip). If you do this, it shouldn’t effect your streak like edging does. That’s happened to me a few times on this streak and I am still going strong.
Anyway, sorry for the long response lol.
As for me,
1 month clean from Porn, Masturbation, and Orgasm (PMO)! (Stated it all out just in case some of our new members don’t know what that is)
Doing amazing, no crazy urges tonight. None at all pretty much. I escaped the mouth of the lion. I don’t think I have ever done that on any of my major streaks. I always fall to these big bosses.
This community has really made this 10x easier. I have learned so much from just being around you guys for the past 53 or so days.
I feel that things in my life are getting brighter. Stressful events like my midterm tomorrow no longer bring me terrible anxiety. I no longer feel like I am a perpetual loser not worthy of love and respect. I am learning to be happy again. To enjoy the little things. And I have the time and patience for them too, unlike when I was always relapsing and using up my time with that.
Life is good.
This is my streak, I am going to make it.
“You can’t always control the wind, but you can control your sails.”
-Dr. Bob Chope
Sep24 Tues: 3 days
@Special_Bird Thank you very much. I am happy to join you guys. I have fewer urges today and those urges did not drive me crazy like yesterday. I think just as you said, urges will decrease eventually. I will try to stay calm and be aware of strong urges as you mentioned.
Checking in - Wednesday 25th September. All good, thank GOD.
@Special_Bird Congratulations on one month, brother! 
Pleased to hear that tip helped you.
“It’s a beautiful day to be sober.”
Unknown
Pornography is a lie. From its actors and actresses who are caked in makeup, filled with silicon and airbrushed, to the lighting directors and video editors who compress painful, 4-6 hour-long shooting sessions into 30 minute HD videos, to the stars who have to pretend they enjoy the filthy acts they’re engaged in so that they can continue to be hired for their next gig. The industry dresses it up and makes it seem captivating and enticing. But the truth becomes clear after every climax. What on earth did I just watch? The rose-tinted glasses fall off and the shame and regret return.
The addiction damages your brain’s dopamine receptors and makes it difficult to find pleasure in anything else. But as we abstain from pornography and continue to live a clean life of freedom, our brains heal. We can laugh more fully, cry deeply, take joy in the company of others again. We are carried away by our favourite songs and feel all the emotions in our favourite movies. We can accomplish our goals with genuine satisfaction and feel connected in our spiritual lives. Just spending 20 minutes on a park bench becomes more pleasurable than any pornography binge marathon ever could hope to be.
It truly is beautiful to be sober.
Check in…day 0
Need blessings n strength to walk again
Check-in 
Wednesday
@Special_Bird
Nice way of calling it a “hiccup” 
It’s not like we can absolutely avoid pornographic content all the time around us.
With explicit content becoming more normal & normal, I guess there would be more frequent encounters with graphic content.
It’s literally everywhere now.
Songs, movies, social media what not. People are making it casual.
No joke is a joke if there’s no adult context in it.
Romantic films are more like lust films.
Strong language is now common in our regular speech
& Netflix
I’d stay a mile away.
And…I could read your post for hours
So long isn’t a problem
@Forerunner
I went to my friend.
Told him to keep explicit content away from me.
I made him understand. He apologised
I make this commitment.
Next time I see nudity again, I’ll start counting backwards. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and boom! Escape.
My streak is on then
Thank you both for your advice
As for today, everything’s fine
There was this small party to which I was invited.
People there weren’t much known to me.
Specially, there was the fresher batch (our superjuniors) too.
But I still blended in well. I guess.
I didn’t care whether things would go awkward or not.
Awkwardness is inevitable & shortlived
I just interacted.
Tried my best to engage in conversations
& Also managed not to be a creep
All went well. Juniors were ragged
It was a great time
I’m back home late, ready to face dad’s anger 
Good night!
Checking in 25th September 2019
Everything is good.
Has a lot to thank for:
The fact that I have the chance to read inspiring journal by other like minded person.
From the book the power of Habit, I learned that it is the community like this that sustain remission and continuing to be sober.
May I consistently check in and keep myself from fapping to achieve the greatest new height
25 September - Day 6 - NoPMO Hard Mode
Having temptations to sneak onto naughty videos. But I ignore the temptations. I am not going that way no matter what.
I also started another streak today. That’s of drinking 3-4L water daily. I purchased the app “day by day” for that purpose. Its very good app. Check it out if you want to make lasting habits.
And congrats to my friend @Special_Bird for completing a month streak.
Week 47 - wednesday
All good. I’m back, I want to live a free life, without PMO! Day 0, let’s go!
Checking in - All good
Week 47 - September 25, Wednesday
Week 47 ~ Wednesday
All good
I’d like to be mentally at Day 0 ~
hungering for God
Week 9 - Sep 25, Wed - Streak: 31 days
@Forerunner @staybusymymotto Thank you guys!
@positivebloke Totally dude, and yes as you said, pornography is everywhere. As the saying goes, sex sells. But I think this hits on an important point. We should really never call accidently seeing or running into these things a relapse or an inevitable relapse because they are everywhere in our world. I think a part of this journey is learning how to be strong-minded in a world saturated in digital sex.
I think your statement really made me realize why I have never liked the idea of censoring the word ■■■■ or when fapstronauts complain about how everyone dresses, etc. Obviously I was once saying those things and I understand their frustration, but I have realized it is futile. We shouldn’t expect the world to change for us, that puts the blame on external factors. And in doing so, we end up not taking responsibility for ourselves and our own actions/thoughts. Not that the world is right in what it does, but it is the way it is, right? I mean, I think if we can make any change, it’s probably through things like NoFap.
Yes, we as men are growing up in a world that is truly much harder (in terms of this struggle) than in previous generations. But we should rejoice that in enduring this, we are becoming much stronger as people than those who ever came before us. That in persevering through this struggle, we are required to learn much more and sooner than our ancestors.
We are mastering ourselves in a way that no other generation has had to. And in doing so, I think we can expect that great things will come out of it.
And yes as for Netflix, thankfully I only watch it with family. And only the good shows, Breaking Bad, etc. I just finished the Spy. Netflix has got some bad stuff so I hear, but I don’t use it for my own use since it’s not my account anyway. But I will stay vigilant.
Great post man! Stay strong
As for me,
Today was very rough. Had my calc midterm and I literally completely failed. I don’t need to get my grade back, I actually got an F.
It really sucks. I studied for the past few days and for 4 hours before the exam. But when I got to it, I just blanked. Nothing.
It’s stressful, I’m used to being an A student, I have never got an F on an exam in my life. I think it must be attributed to my study time and the amount of sleep I got last night. I will have to improve on those for next time. I guess I just underestimated the whole thing.
It’s just frustrating, I feel like everyone else gets it and I don’t. Literally everyone else I have talked to has taken some form of calc before and so they know what’s up. I didn’t even quite know what I was doing until like last week.
But what can I do. I will get back up from this. Yes, an A is probably unattainable at this point, but I think I can still get by with at least a B. But I’m going to really have to grind. I’m really going to have to put the pettle to the metal with understanding the next sections on derivatives and integrals.
But, and this is a big but, on the bright side, (I feel like I say this a lot) in the past my streak would have totally crashed at this point. I probably would have relapsed 3 times today.
But I didn’t even edge, didn’t even think those thoughts. I really am improving and it feels better than anything I have felt before. I feel more accomplished than I have ever felt in my life. And while things may not always work out as I would like in life, I know that I can get through it and be happy when I am clean from PMO.
So here’s to another day free!
This is my streak, I am going to make it.
“Think of what you were when you were a slave to your addiction. Do you really want to go back to that?”
-Rewire Companion user
Week47 Wednesday
Generally Good, but I did not sleep well last night. I woke up by two times of urges, and I spend some time walking around to wait until it over.
I have no fap for four days and I am looking forward to the seventh day, which I can break my past record.
Week 47 Tuesday and Wednesday, Septemper 25. Nine days
I’m starting to feel tired in my job, and without motivation. Didn’t even think of peeking anything or edging, but I have to be alert so I can avoid triggers.
Until this moment, I have managed to ignore FIVE urges on this streak.
Check in…
Day 1 - glory to God
Checking in - Thursday 26th September. All good, thank GOD.
I’m feeling very grateful for my friends and companions today. May GOD bless you all! 
“Everything you need is already within you. The beauty of life is that your DESTINY lies always in your hands. The time has come for you to STEP UP and BE GREAT”
Pablo
Everyone in the community has what it takes within them to succeed. We all have the ability to learn from our mistakes and implement new strategies and methods to improve our lives. We can all discover the tips and tricks used by people who have beaten the addiction for good. Everyone can motivate and love themselves enough to make lasting, positive changes.
It’s time to dig deep within ourselves. Make a plan with daily positive habits and actions you’ll take to remain free and clean. Include a method for overcoming urges and tools to use when negative emotions arise in life. Reach out to someone as an accountability partner and work on your strategy together. Re-discover your strong reasons for breaking free and remind yourself daily. And always remember, you are stronger than any and every temptation that comes your way.
There are 95 days left in 2019. We all have the chance to use our inner strength and finally break free from addiction. A new year - a new decade - awaits us in 2020, and a beautiful new life.
I recorded a motivational video today about NoPMO. If you want to check it out, here’s the link below:
https://photos.app.goo.gl/iSCj6wnQ3ECLbz6u5