Everything’s fine
I face real challenges on weekends, I’ll have to stay strong.
Yesterday, me & all my batchmates visited an orphanage at the outskirts of the city.
We all had contributed some money, to gift them some basic amenities they are in need of.
This was the gesture made, instead of spending the same money on parties, cake & coke.
The fun they had, & the smile they had put, all those little kids radiated so much happiness
The place was old & Poor.
But, Without anything, that place & the kids still had everything
Each child was like a grenade of laughter & smiles
We cut a cake, sang songs, took pictures, had a great time.
I never thought that some random children would teach me so much about life
Such a beautiful experience it was
The atmosphere here is getting so positive & motivational! @Forerunner@Juvenal@Special_Bird
Keep writing!
It inspires me to write too
Checking in - Saturday 21st September. All good, thank GOD.
@Positivebloke Beautiful share man!
Love the energy on here these days!
It’s not what you are that holds you back, it’s what you think you are not.
Denis Waitley
For the longest time, I believed it was possible for me to finally break free of the addiction. 100% possible. I just didn’t believe it was possible for the current me. I saw it as something I would do eventually: when I had learned so much more about addictions and habits; when I had grown closer to GOD spiritually, when I had better confidence in myself and higher self-esteem.
This thought process was flawed and held me back for so long. When I decided that I had what it took and stopped waiting to be saved by future me, I broke past mental barriers that had imprisoned me for so long. That energy propelled me through my first 90 days.
Now on day 100, my job is to break past further barriers and go on to 180, 270 and 365 days with GOD’s Help. The false beliefs that I’m not disciplined or consistent enough to keep up with this journey; that I’m going to slip up again eventually and that I’m not capable of keeping to the positive habits needed for further success.
Day 2 completed. Felt total emptiness today. Couldn’t study. Felt fear of being lost. I’m unable to dive in any activity and there’s always a monkey at back of my mind. I’ve become weak. But I won’t give up. Now I will never watch porn and will never lust.
Week 46 - SaturDay 6 - Sep 21 - Hard Mode
Ok not gonna lie. It was a bad day from start. Had some bad dreams, then thoughts hovering all time in morning walk. My past is haunting me again. Sometimes I think if not for Fapping, I could’ve been an Anti-social person/psychopath.
Had those immoral dreams return when I slept in evening due to headache. Suddenly, I woke up n run to toilet, but ejaculated already. For the fucks sake, spare me. It’s becoming depressing now. Sorry guys. Loser.
Thank you @Special_Bird for the support, I appreciate it!
As for today, I did look at P in the afternoon, I think I’m falling into the chaser effect, urges are less controllable and I’m less motivated to fight them, but I don’t want to fall back into PMO again, I hope to sort this out quickly!
Until this moment, I have managed to ignore FIVE urges on this streak.
@Positivebloke That was really beautiful. It’s very rare to see this kind of experience shared here! We are so focused in improving our lives, most of the time… You were part of something big, I appreciate your sharing.
@Forerunner That’s a great insight! Never thought of it. It gets harder because we don’t see ourselves doing it, we anxiously imagine an already improved version of us doing it… We are putting us down all the time, we don’t believe fully on our actual potential. Thanks man, that was some precious input.
@staybusymymotto@rowdy_nik It’s so frustrating, isn’t it? Damn, I think I can’t take any more frustrations… We all have our weaknesses, it’s human, it’s acceptable. You are strong because you you are fighting. Let’s keep fighting.
@Positivebloke Thanks man! Will do. Also great post yourself, a very enlightening read.
As for me, good day today. It was my sister’s birthday party, so all the family was over. And when it got late, we all went and explored this building that is under construction. So a good day indeed.
No big urges today either, maybe a little bit here and there, but I just keep reminding myself of the reasons why I never want to go back, all of those consequences. And if the urge gets stronger then I hop on this app and read the message board.
There has been this song that I really like, if you guys are from the US you have probably heard it, but maybe not. I feel that it has been the song that reminds me of the state of being that I don’t want to go back to. It’s that melancholy place where you never feel like your going anywhere even though you keep trying to run from all that hurts you. I see it as the place I am in when I am in the throes of my addiction. The place where my life never really gets to its destination.
Day 3 completed. Have lost all desires to achieve something in life. Feeling empty. But won’t relapse. Pray for me. My followers remind me that if I relapse it’ll be unjust for them. That gives me strength.
It seem harder when stating ‘Hard Mode’
It likes saying to the devil “get out of this house”
He will do anything to get back in.
I pray that you stay your ground and the distractions dissipate.
We should pray the same for @rowdy_nik also ‘Hard Mode’
Kudos to you both for taking the hard road
Thank you bro to keeping us in your prayers I pray for us n everyone suffering from this. @staybusymymotto is doing good. Hard mode after rewiring for a month. Stay strong brother. Flame On
Checking in - Sunday 22nd September. All good, thank GOD.
“I’m not telling you it is going to be easy. I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it.”
Unknown
To call this journey challenging is like calling the Titanic a boat. It can be really, really hard. We have serious withdrawal symptoms, experience urges so strong our heads might split if we don’t deal with them, and feel crippling guilt, shame and regret. On one hand, we question why we keep returning to this self-destructive habit, while on the other we wonder why we’re even fighting and haven’t given up yet.
But it’s worth it on the other side. To regain your sense of personal integrity and self-control. To live according to your values. To have confidence and self-esteem return in great strides. Depression, anger and social anxiety falling away. Improved physical and mental health through better habits. Feeling deeper love, peace and joy in your life. Knowing that you have what it takes to meet the challenges in your life. It’s definitely worth it.
blue circle 
chill brother 
200+ ‘Double Century’ 
All GOOD 
Flame On 