1st April, 2021
Soooo today was a good day , I had no urges and I had no fantasies that I might need to look at .
I did tell myself today that I had to stop looking at and doing PMO because I had today decided that I am going to do this one day at a time and that means that I am going to start a day and I’m going to ask myself if I want to stay sober today and then I’ll try to saty sober for that day . It’s only a day… I’ll put my entire energy into making it a nofap day . I wish myself luck!
Anddd i guess it is over for now , I’ll try to be back tomorrow for more! Bye bye!!!
1st April, 2021
2nd April , 2021
Sooo today was a good day. I think… I believe that today was a good day , because I had fun today , answered a few good questions , on my own in the class which surprised me a little bit but yayyyyyy!
I also feel like I can feel a bit more strenght in my hand , like I can feel the power as I close my hand it’s getting very motivating and I am happy!
I also wanted to take this journey as a one day a time type of thing and so far I ask myself daily if I want to remain sober today and I’m gratefull that my answer to that question was “YES”
I had no urges today nor any fantasies, so I guess this is it for today , I’ll be back tomorrow for more !
3rd April , 2021
Sooo today was a tiring and frustrating day. My listener blocked me , and i feel sonsad about it. I wish they had not done so but it wasn’t in my control to decide if I will be blocked or not
Regarding the urges , I have had no urges for the last 12 hours and regarding the fantasies , I did not fantasize at all , thank God .
I guess that is it for today Id have anything else to say , so I think I’m just going to go , bye!
4th April , 2021.
Today was a good day , I think it was soooo good but I have less time so I’ll be short today.
I have had no urges today , and no fantasies as well , it has been a great day!
I have nothing further to discuss. I Think it’s a goodbye for now , see you tomorrow!
5th April , 2021
Soo today was a good day, in the sense that I got my COVID vaccine 2nd dose and now all I have to do is wait for 2 weeks then I can go outside (with PPE ofcourse) and be less afraid of catching the disease or passing it off to others . And I feel a trigger rising , I feel relieved and happy and I know I don’t have to go iut tomorrow and I get this all is good type of feeling and I can’t help but want to relapse from my addiction, but I don’t want to , so I’ll talk with someone and maybe get help with a sponser , wish me luck! I hope I can fight this in the next few days and each day I do I’ll make sure to reward myself , b bye!!!
6th April, 2021
Sooo today was kind of a bad day for me . I didn’t know what I was feeling and how I could save myself from feeling that way, sooo i had a relapse and I hate to say that but I hated mysefl afterwards and I kinda wish that it never happened to me , but who knows , it could have happened to me anytime. I was weak and I deserve to feel this way, don’t have anybody telling me different anyways.
I had one urge today , which I was able to overcome it but it was hella difficult and I wish i could have someone in my life who would be there for me , in moments when I need someone to be there for me. I can’t just be there for everyone every single day, it’s so hard .
In other news , my date of college closure just got extended , I hope this COVID thing dies down , how else am I going to live a long and healthy life , am I right?
Anyways ,that is it for today , I have nothing to share, I do hope for things to go smoothly tomorrow , I wish myself luck
7th April , 2021
Soo it’s been a good day so far. I mean I watched a tv series most of my online classes buttt it was fun lol. The problem today was not the urges because they didn’t happen , but it was the fantasizing, that was bad. I remember hitting myself , with my hands as hard as I could a couple of hours ago and I had to do it completely 3 times while telling my adsict subpersonality to stop it. And it worked , I took the shower and then I went on the watch some more tv series. I had some negative thoughts in the morning and it all feels so lonely sometimes but I have this forum where I can come anytime I want and pour my heart out , perhaps , it’ll do till the time I find that person whom I can pour my heart into and they won’t run away.
Looks like I’m at the end of my trail here , because I got nothing more to say on this, soooooo I’m going to take my leave from here , it was great typing this but I gotta go, bye byeeeee!
8th April, 2021
Idk about you , but my enteries always feel like they end a bit abruptly but what the hell, it’s my own wierd design so be it . Anyways , today was a good day I guess , there is this site that I listen at and someone there needed my help but not in today’s moments so I told them that they can contact me whenever they feel like they need help , and it still feels good . It’s funny how life was grim 3 days ago and like I’m so happy in this moment, on this day . Damnnnnnnn.
Hahahha, but on a serious note , I felt no urges today and my fantasies did not run wild , I felt good, oddly .
Okay , it’s time for me to sign off , soooo b byeeeee, I’ll see you tomorrow
Sooo today was a good day , I guess ,I had to swith on my camera at a zoom meeting with my teacher anddddd it was terrifying af! Buttttt I got through it which I’m gratefull for because Idk if I could have gone through with it .
Onnn the other note, my urges did not come , and I mean at all, I think I didn’t really have them today , and my fantasies also did not show up , so I guess I had apretty clean day today , wouldn’t you say so?
I’ve managed to look presentable in the meeting without actually trynna look presentable, last minute looks
Anyways I guess it’s all I have to say for today , bye bye now
10th April , 2021
So today was a bit strange , I wanted to help some people and it really didn’t turn out the way I had expected it to go. Anyways I thank God it’s over. I also had to lift a tv , LED from the ground floor to the first story, by the stairs and I couldn’t do it , my hands are too soft rn , it hurt like hell. So I had to let my cousin take over. Idk , but I kinda feel a bit ashamed .
Moving onnnn , I have had no urges today and I have had no fantasies as well , it makes me feel happy that today was easy, I just wish that all the other days were as easy as well , I pray to God about it Ameen!
Ok , that is all I got for today , see you guys tomorrow!
11th April , 2021
Soop today I’m going to be short as I don’t have enough time I have to go somewhere , I have had urges today but since I am busy , I won’t be able to go on a PMO binge but pray for me! I have had no fantasies , anddd it’s time for me to go , I’ll be back later or possibly tomorrow for some fun , bye bye!!
12th April , 2021
I’m taking a break from this app ,so I’m deleting it. Time to focus on my religion , which will in fact help me keep away from porn and masturbation . I may be gone for a month or so , maybe more. Idk when I’ll be back but I hope when I am , I’ll be far better than I am today because I relapsed. Anyways , good luck to you all and I hope you all achieve your goals.