A new journey for making a better life for myself

(22M ) Respect’s Diary :
Well I was on a heavey Streak before I left this site and I thought that I could go NOPMO for a long long time but I’ve realized that I need although I donot need to count the days since I have been on NOPMO but if I don’t seek support from my fellow addicts, I might never succeed. I was on a 50 days streak but sadly I could not go further and relpased . I got back up and went idk maybe 12 days before I relpased again… which brings me to today… I have realised that somewhere in between I stopped making it about my dream and I started making it about when I would have the next wet dream you know? So I have made it my mission to restart my progress , here , I won’t count the days but I will make sure to journal here everyday , that journaling would be for me and me only… And I’m going to set a goal of 13 days… which I would see on the counter and when I reach it I’m going to celebrate it by treating myself with something I like :blush:

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4th feb,2021 :pensive:
Well today was a wild day, I relapsed twice and that was not because I wanted to, it was because I couldn’t take the urges anymore. I wanted some peace of mind… It was not worth it :confounded:
Anyways, I am looking forwards for a new streak and I hope I get to live a life of freedom. Just today I was missing my 50 day streak and how I had felt in those days… here is to us , The rebooters!:partying_face:

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5th feb,2021 :upside_down_face:
Well today is the first day of the start of my journey. I have high hopes… unfortunately I won’t be able to make it a long post today, I have to study for my exams :disappointed:
Amyways , I have had no urges since morning and no fantasies. I had one thought about sex but I chased it away! Yesterday I relapsed 3 times but I wanted a fourth one, which I didn’t let happen! I was string and now it’s day one lol :partying_face::partying_face::partying_face:
I know I am living the nofap life and I hope it stays that way forever, and I get to live a healthy life … I pray to God. Anyways, this is it for me , I have nothing to add today , so I guess I’ll see you tomorrow!

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6th Feb, 2021 :slightly_smiling_face:
Well today was a good day, I accidently angered a friend , and I had to spend some time appologizing to him lol
I have had no urges today. Fantasies are not there , not yet… I have experienced nothing wild today, all is normal and I guess this is it.
I have nothing more to add to this so I guess I am going to go…bye bye! I’ll be back tomorrow :blush:

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7th Feb, 2021 :grinning:
So today was a good day. In the sense that I have had no urges today and no fantasies as well. It was just a normal sunday today, and now it’s going to get sad, because of the coming sundown in about 1 hour …
I have today, everything that I could possibly hope for, my exams are going on and I hope they go well.
Well I did feel like this is going to be a long journey and I know it is for life, may we all succeed in it , I pray to God :heart:
I think that is it for today, I’ll be back tomorrow :grin: orrrr today if I have any updates… bye bye!

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8th Feb,2021 :innocent:
Sooo today had a lot of twist and turns , I ate alot and felt really bad about it… :neutral_face:I also might have a fight with my friend… :slight_smile: loooool that would be funn, atleast i think it will be
I had no urges although some fantasies were present but I preservered :grin:
I might have met a girl that I thought was into me but I have learnt today that she was not into me… So it hurts but I’ll get back on my feet.
I wish this journey was easy, but if it were easy I don’t think it would feel so good when we went on it further each time…
I guess that is it for today I will be back tomorrow!

10th Feb ,2021 :grin:
Well hey there! I’m so sorry I couldn’t come yestrrfay, I was busy with exams and stuff and I thought thatvI should focus on them to the fullest :blush:
Anyways, my life is a little busy these days but I am proud to say that I had no urges today and no fantasies… a wierd thing happened yesterday night, I was having very weird , very weird urges to talk to girls and ask them about anything, but I knew I couldn’t do that, because of my religion… so I had to control myself .
Furthermore I have had a wonderfull day today, namely due to the fact that my exams went relly well today :partying_face:
I also had a very semi erotic dream , in which I couldn’t stop thinking about women’s behinds , seeing pictures of them again and again, woke up so horny lol :joy:
I think it is going to get tougher from now on and I feel a bit lonely today , might have to talk to a few freinds but I will be okay , bye bye for now I will ba back !:yum:

11th Feb , 2021 :blush:
Welll today was a relaxing day! I binge watched three episodes of my favourite show, felt so good :innocent:. I had no urges today although some fantasizing did occur and I stopped it before it became out of control…
I’ve had a friend who is behaving very wierdly, but idk what to do about it I guess the future will tell me
My last exam approaches after which I will have lots of fun! :star_struck::star_struck:. That is untill viva voce , on which I hope it gets through with ease :yum:
I have however lost a friend, which is not because I wanted to lose them but because I couldn’t stand his lack of care for me anymore. So I blocked him everywhere :grin:
I can say that mostly I have been happy but also that I have to keep reminding myself that this journey is for life and I have to deal with it that way… I guess this is it , I’ll be back if I have more :relaxed:

12th Feb, 2021
Well today was good, I had no urges nor any fantsies but it will be great from now on , I hope
Today this will be short as I need to study , so that’s it I gotta go! Bye!:innocent:

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13th feb, 2021
Soooo today was a good day, in the sense that my exams went great, I had no urges and I have no fantasies
I also heard back from a potterhead (my friend) and we discussed the world of Harry Potter at lenght, till the time we were sick of the topic, lol!
I do remember how I react to women now, before all this , before nofap , I never felt that any woman I laid my eyes on was beautiful, pretty or even attractive. I just kept looking at them, no thoughts . I have since changed how I look at them. I remember today, I looked at a girl when I was about to start the exam I thought. She looks beautiful… never have I ever felt this way. I remember that now I look at any woman I automatically think, she’s good looking, she looks nice or she looks beautiful but almost never “I would like a piece of that”
So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m thankful to God that He took me from a place of ignorance and has now guided me.
Ok! I think this is it! Bye !:grin:

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Day 0 :pensive:
Okay so I relpased today and I feel so sadddd. I wanted to stop but I just couldn’t stop seeing things everywhere I looked :disappointed::disappointed:
I just snapped but I also know that I don’t quit easy :grin:
I’ve made a stronger plan now. I Plan to go 186 days without this drug and I must say I feel ecxited , I have never done such a nerve reacking dangerous thing !:star_struck::star_struck:
I fought off the urges twoce today, fought hard, but I couldn’t keep them off , so I lost , I lost bad :confounded:
I hope that from this day I can look into the eyes of fapping and tell it to go fuck itself :joy:
Anyways I gotta go! See you guys later!

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Day1 :blush:
Soo today was a bad day. In the sense that I umm I lost a whole lot of time today, I wasted it instead of preprations to deal with upcoming vivas and practical exam. I lost the entire day :disappointed:. Buttt I have gained momentum and I feel like I can go on and finsih today’s work on time. I just feel apprehensive about my upcoming 185 days and I wish them to be smoothe, although I know my journey will be tough because if it wasn’t tough then it wouldn’t be worth the pain and the suffering I will have to go through to reach my target. I will get increasingly busy as my day goes on. Anyways, wish me luck!:star_struck::star_struck:

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Good luck bro I am also day 1 let’s move together let’s challenge each other what is ur sharing code

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Sure! My sharing code is 2b6eb1. What’s yours ?

Day 2 :pleading_face:
So today was a little tense… I just don’t know what to say. I wasted so much time today, again… but mostly due to college stuff having me worried… I just have never wanted to go through with this but I need to because I have to do some practice of some practicals.
Anyways I umm I have had no urges today nor did I have any fantasies . 184 more days to go , pray for me dear journal :joy:. I guess I think this is it , I’ll be in touch if anything new happens :blush:, untill then goodbye!

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Bro I relasped :sob: :pleading_face: because of fantasizing

OMG! That’s okay, but I hope you’ve created some strategies to deal with fantasies. Just hang in there , and try not to relapse again today :blush:

Day 3 :innocent:
Soooo today was a busy day, I didn’t have any urges today and I didn’t have any fantasies. I expect these to start in the next 3 or 4 days . I’m however having headaches :weary::weary: right now …
Anyways I was thinking today. That maybe when I go on lenghty streaks, I start feeling like a new person you know , maybe because of testosterone and confidence buttt i feel a lot better , I also feel like some part of that feeling keeps behind when I relapse . Like I relapse but I still feel a little bit confident , a little bit wanting to talk to girls. But if I relapse multiple times , I remember feeling like I felt before nofap… I guess I can’t explain why I feel these things but It’s okay, life is messy and this is part of life…no?
I guess that is it for today, I’ll see you tomorrow !:v:

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Day 4 :v:
Soooo today was a good day. I watched an emotional ending to my favourite show at the moment. Brought tears to my eyes for saying goodbye to all the characters I saw being developed. It was sad buttt it is over and after all it was just a tv show. Kept me sane though , in my times of urges, when I needed a distraction, it worked! It won’t be the same again without it :pleading_face::pleading_face::confounded:
Anyways I had so many urges today OMG Idk how I still am standing here writting about how I succeeded in fighting those urges but here I am, bruised but successful. I had no fantasies today I just thought that I will relapse today, I was ready to relapse but something in me told me to go on because I thought to myself that this is a bad day but bad days are going to come and if my responce to bad days is porn then I’m doomed.
So I guess the lesson to take from this is to never let your dick do the talking, always think from your mind… i guess that about wraps up what I came here to say , I have nothing new so I would like to go now, bye bye dear Journal I will be back tomorrow!:hugs:

Day 5 :upside_down_face:
Welll today was a good day, you can day that . I watched a new movie, found it interested and then wasted a couple of minutes of study time trynna watch it… had to stop myself from going on and on and on :sweat_smile:.
I had zero urges today, nor yestrrday after the evening. I realised that I needed a new show to keep me distracted in case an urge comes my way,soooo I found one, but it kinda not feel the same lol.
I also have been feeling a but lonely you know, like for no reason but I am feeling lonely…:disappointed: Anyways I guess that is it for today, I’ll be back for more!:blush: