@Forerunner sorry that you relapsed. But I am afraid you might end up in the loop that I was stuck in for more than A YEAR. Yes, I went into deep analysis mode during covid and messed up. The only way is discipline. That is the answer. No behavioural psychology will change it.
He is on day 49 now 
And his last streak was around 200
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Thatās awesome. He is doing well.
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@TheFinalFrontier Dear brother, I promise you that the EasyPeasy method works. It is solid advice. We canāt dismiss the book if we refuse to follow its instructions. The reason why Iāve relapsed in the past after reading it is the same - I didnāt follow the instructions. I peeked and started the chain of addiction again.
The willpower/self-discipline method works too, of course. Thousands of people break free daily using that method. However, weāve tried it for years. The failure rate is very high. If you want to continue on that path, it is as always your choice, and I wish you the very best of success. Freedom from addiction is always a beautiful thing, regardless of how we arrive there.
As @The_integrous_one explained, Iām doing well by Godās Grace. It has been a clean journey - no searching, no touching, no edging, no peeking, no nothing. I am following the instructions all the way to freedom this time. Itās high time we escaped from this darkness.
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I did the same mistake around day 100 and relapsed on day 134
I 100% agree with this 
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The Cost of ājust one peekā¦ā
Iām approaching 90 days once more, a milestone Iāve achieved 3 times in my life.
The most recent time was when I reached 120+ days earlier this year. Before that, it was my 252-day streak that ended in February 2020.
The first time, I was 12 years old. Nearly 15 years ago.
I canāt even really count that first time as a streak. Whenever I was asked for my highest streak in the past, I didnāt include that one, since it didnāt really involve my own effort. It was after my mother had caught me one night looking at dozens of pages of pornography online, and removed my Internet access. I couldnāt relapse since there was no way for me to look at pornography. At some point, my mother thought it would be safe for me to resume using the Internet again, and so, she let me back on the computer. She assumed that enough time had passed and that I would just forget about it, remember the important wisdom she had shared with me and just not go back to it.
I now understand that enough time had passed for the physical addiction to go away, as the EasyPeasyMethod tells us, but the brainwashing remained.
On one hand, I knew completely that this was not an activity I should be doing for any reason. There were plenty of reasons to quit - from moral, spiritual, religious to relationships with those around me, how it was affecting my sleep and my health to how I was beginning to relate to myself as a person and my decreasing confidence and self-esteem. My 12-year-old mind was terrified of the consequences of becoming an addict and a pervert, a sexual deviant. Some of the things my mother told me were frightening - how serial killers and rapists were always discovered with extensive collections of pornography, how I could escalate to wanting to act out what I was seeing in real life, how I may ruin my life by becoming a teenage father and so on.
On the other hand, I still wanted to look at pornography. Despite everything else, I felt like I was missing out on something pleasurable, a level of excitement I had never gained from playing video games or enjoying my favourite foods or spending time with loved ones. I didnāt know at the time that this was simply drug addiction. A flood of chemicals to the brain caused by sexually stimulating content, 24/7 streaming novelty for free, 10 000s of actors across 1 000s of genres and categories. There was not true enjoyment, only the illusion of it. That was all that kept pulling me back there. I resisted for a while, telling myself - āI will never go back, I promised my mother, I canāt go back there. There are just too many horrible things that would happen as a result. Itās a sin. I donāt want to do it anymore.ā But eventually, it may have been after 3 months, it could have been 6, I donāt remember exactly how long, but I peeked.
I started with the same lies we always tell ourselves when weāve decided to stop doing PMO.
āIf I donāt go on a ā ā ā ā site, it doesnāt count.ā
Iāll just use Google Images, thatās okay.
Iāll search for art, art isnāt ā ā ā ā . Iāll look at artistic images of mermaids and fairies and fantasy characters.
As long as no one is fully naked, itās fine.
If the website doesnāt have an 18+ warning, Iāll enter it. If it does, Iāll close the site.
Movies are okay. Itās just a music video, thatās perfectly fine. No problem, itās only a TV show.
And so on. At some point, I was back to full-blown addiction, looking at sexually arousing content and pornographic material every night, dancing up and down along the red line and trying not to escalate and stay within the boundaries Iād set for myself. At some point, I discovered masturbation and then I was completely hooked.
The worst was that because I wanted to stop, I had decided to quit, I knew it was wrong, every time I went back there, I binged because I told myself it was the last ever time. Alright, weāll go back there today, but never again. We arenāt doing this anymore. So make it count.ā So much time was lost in peeking, watching and masturbating, downloading videos and images, playing pornographic games, reading pornographic comic books, searching for material, redownloading videos I deleted yesterday or the day before, waiting up until everyone was asleep so I could engage in filth without distraction. 5-8 hours a night most nights, worse on weekends. Some days I would get past 24 hours, sometimes 36 hours or even 2 or 3 days, but then I would fall right back and binge to make up for the lost time.
I was living in a personal hell for years. The happy and confident boy I was as a child was gone. I was a zombie, lying to everyone, including myself. I had social anxiety and found it difficult to speak with anyone who wasnāt a close friend, especially girls. I maintained a false image of being a āgood boyā since I felt so self-conscious about what I was doing at night. I felt like everyone could see it on my forehead - pervert. I was near the top of the class for most of my lessons, but the effects were starting to take hold. I remember that I was kicked out of Art class because I hadnāt completed a major project. We were given a fresh sketchbook and our task was to sketch random objects we would come across in our daily lives. It was a simple task, and we had weeks to complete the sketchbook. I didnāt draw a single thing. Instead, I spent the time playing video games and doing PMO. I begged my Art teacher for a second chance but he didnāt see the point. I wasnāt taking it seriously. Slowly, I would fail other classes in the same way.
I remember that I used to have visions of myself making something positive out of my life. Working on skills and hobbies, learning languages, an instrument, how to draw and produce art. I really wanted to design my own video game and make millions. But there never seemed to be any time.
The EasyPeasy book has an exercise where it talks about calculating how much time weāll spend as PMO addicts if we donāt quit. The purpose of this exercise is to show us the danger of peeking. As my life shows, just that one peek when I was 12 was enough to pull me back into the depths of addiction and return to daily PMO abuse, after months of abstinence. It is a chain of addiction that will last the rest of our lives unless we break it.
It is horrifying to think of the time Iāve spent doing this already. An educated guess would easily put me at over 9 000 hours of filth. They say it takes 10 000 hours to become world-class at a skill. I shudder to think what amazing things I could have done with that time if I didnāt burn it all in such a useless, depraved, degrading activity.
But the future as an addict is unbearable to even consider. Say I live another 60 years. Life expectancy for someone my age is 86, so 60 years is a good estimate. Iāve personally met addicts in their 60s and 70s. One man I met, Andrew, was in his 80s and he was still PMOing daily. Andrew barely had enough energy to stay awake during our Sex Addict Anonymous meetings, but he had the energy still to relapse every day. That terrified me. It doesnāt end unless we end it NOW. At 86, if I kept going at the same rate, binging and escalating, dancing between streaks and then disappearing from the community, isolating from my friends to binge and edge and peek, telling myself that it was the last time, I would have accumulated over 70 000 hours of this filth.
70 000 hours.
Thatās enough time to become a master in 7 skills. Or more. The 10 000 hour idea isnāt a fixed rule, some skills take only 1 000 hours to master, others take 15 000. The point is, I could be an amazing artist, a fantastic musician and composer who can play various instruments, writer, educator, learn multiple languages, be an incredible chef, produce inspirational documentaries and movies, and add great things of value to the world. The time I could spend in happiness and joy with loved ones, travelling the world, experiencing all kinds of cultures, building a family of my own, working on business ideas to transform the world around me. Thinking about the big questions of life and what this all means and considering the Hereafter.
Or - traded over DECADES for nothing but a high surge in dopamine levels caused by viewing sexually arousing content and chasing orgasms. That is all we ever get from PMO, and all we will ever get in the future if we continue to do it. One peek for me means another 70 000 hours of addiction and misery, a lifetime of self-destruction. Lying to those around me, postponing, delaying and denying my morals, values, goals and dreams, becoming something I donāt even recognise anymore. If I do end up finding a wife and starting a family through it all, I would be filled with shame, hiding and binging alone at night in the dark. It would likely lead to divorce at some point, or one of my children walking in on me or discovering my stash and becoming hooked themselves. And on my deathbed after a life filled with regret, I would know that PMO was a primary reason why my life didnāt go the way I wanted it to. What a miserable existence.
Isnāt it wonderful to be free from that prison? Iāve gained 70 000 hours of my life back! So many beautiful things I can do with it. Even if I do nothing remarkable or noteworthy with my time on Earth, I can still take pleasure in the fact that I have the focus, confidence and energy to be present with my loved ones and experience the little joys of life. To get up every day and take what the day has to offer without being clouded by brain fog and being overly stressed, depressed, bored, tired, anxious and frustrated. And I can always smile to myself and say, 'Thank GOD! Iām free! Iām not a slave anymore! Itās amazing! I never PMO now!
So never forget, it is NEVER JUST ONE PEEK. All it took was one peek when I was 11 to make me addicted. One peek when I was 12 to bring me back into the addiction. And one peek each time to utterly destroy every āstreakā Iāve ever had. āJust one peekā or āone last timeā is all it takes to make us addicts for the rest of our lives. When we stop peeking permanently, the addiction is dead. And thank GOD for that!
Always thank GOD for everything.
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Brother, you have gone through real hell. My addiction doesnāt even count against this but one thing is common btw all of us,
We all hate and know what the real deal of pornography is.
Just some here have experienced hell and some stopped before or on time!!!
We all can and will get thru this!!!
To victory
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Bro, you are in a great position right now. You can be 10+ years free of this poison by the time youāre my age.
I was 15 when I seriously started making more of an effort to change. I was still struggling to reach 3 days clean, but I managed to make it 3 weeks around that time. If I had stayed committed and determined back then, life would have turned out dramatically different for me.
You donāt need any motivation to leave behind a drug addiction. We know deep down that our lives would be so much better without it. It gives nothing valuable to us and takes so much away. Stay focused, stay determined, work on your goals and create the best possible future for yourself.
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Itās such a great post!
Thank you. It will surely help a lot of people to wash they doubts and fears to quit.
For me personaly aprox. 7 300 hours of filth in the past.
Now, FREEDOM
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@anon47554698 Glad you appreciated the post amigo!
Weāll continue to spread the message of how beautiful it is to be free. The main thing that has kept us all trapped in the past is the fear that weāre missing out on something, that weāre making some sort of sacrifice. Once that illusion is gone, the journey becomes much easier.
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@Forerunner I need your advice. What I have learnt from my past mistakes is that I can easily overcome the urge to M but I cant control my urge to watch P . Is there any solution to the problem?
Hello, @Forerunner , I joined the forum again. Could you please reply to my above question when you are free?
Itās just your brainwashed mind playing game with you. If you will watch ā ā ā ā you will eventually masturbate may be you will control for a week or two but not more than that. ā ā ā ā is more harmful. So, focus on that. Although you should quit both.
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Download this app brother it has 3 options to block P choose the last one which is - it will give the access to ā ā ā ā site after aeast 2 hours u try to open the siteā¦or the 2nd option which says to have a pincode given to ur friend so that when u wanna open the P sites it will ask ur frnd to send the OTP and only if he tells u ā¦u are allowed to watch
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Good to have you back again brother. I know the difficulty and frustration of losing hope, itās an unhappy place to be. Iām glad to see that youāve regained some of your fighting spirit and will to carry on.
What youāve realised is far more common than you think. Most of us on this forum are not addicted to masturbation. We donāt really care for it - without pornography, many of us never masturbate. There are some who masturbate to fantasy and mental images or past sexual experiences, but they are in the minority. It is the addiction to pornography that is the main challenge to solve for most of us here.
Yes, absolutely - you can control your urges to watch pornography.
Without a shadow of a doubt. Never think anything otherwise. You are in control of your body. No one can make you relapse against your will. If I come to you and load up a ā ā ā ā site on a tablet, shove it in front of you, you still have a choice. You can push me out of the way and defiantly say, I donāt watch that filth! There has never been a single urge in your entire life that was stronger than you. The problem is that we tend to have a stronger desire to give in to those urges and agree with the thoughts when they come. The best way I know of to remove that desire and reset our mindset for permanent success is the EasyPeasyMethod.
I canāt encourage reading the EasyPeasyMethod enough. Read thebooktoquitporn.com - itās called that for a reason! Best advice on the Internet for quitting ā ā ā ā addiction, itās less than 80 pages, and itās completely free! So many new ideas and concepts that will bring a permanent end to your days of being an addict and prepare you to enjoy the rest of your life in freedom! You asked for a solution to the problem - this is the best one I know of!
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@anon87955785 Youāre most welcome man. I pray my advice has been useful to you, feel free to ask any questions.
Welcome back.
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@Forerunner brother, You made 200 + days streak once right? . Could you please tell what made you to relapse even after such a high streak ?