[29M] Forerunner's Diary - Ascension to Greatness 🙇🏾

Dean_Ambrose · November 23, 2020, 3:39am

Come on buddy , NEW DAY NEW OPPORTUNITIES, We can’t keep crying over the past , but we can change our future by working . Ur a that same guy who had 150 + days streak … We all can

PatrickJ · November 23, 2020, 5:03am

Dont sweat it man. All part of the journey like you said. Keep going.

StevenSuccessJourney · November 23, 2020, 9:59am

The book is absolutely a game changer. Come back to it, delve deep once again and focus once more on creating an amazing life!
The process of building the life you want is always in progress

Wannabeliberated · November 23, 2020, 11:56am

Good to see you back man! I always could use your motivation and words, playa!

Maybe you just need to facetime or vent to someone to help, is all, man. Like literally a facetime phone call once a week! Moght be the missing link.

Special_Bird · November 23, 2020, 6:00pm

Thank you bro! I appreciate the warm welcome back. You’re right, those thoughts are absolute lies, and I’m glad I’ve finally realized that. In the past, I let them fester and grow. I even thought they were good for motivation, a reminder to do well and prove myself.

But I realized that only made me sick, constantly looking for external validation, focusing on my self, and being angry when my friends were successful. It rots away at the soul.

It’s funny, because most people assume that caring less about yourself would lead you to naturally be less selfish. But I’ve found it actually only creates the deepest kind of selfishness, a sort of obsession with public image. Learning to love oneself is the key to selfless action.

That’s been the cause of my depression and my anxiety I see now. I hated myself, and I never fixed it. My high streak of 175 days was only external validation, but when I failed, I lost everything. I plunged back into a darkness I couldn’t escape from, because in reality, I had never truly let it go.

Anyway, thank you for the kind words brother, I felt bad that I hadn’t been very consistent for a long while after that big relapse. But I’ve been very happy to see everyone’s support, it’s been really encouraging for me.

FlowForCourage · November 23, 2020, 6:12pm

Runner or not? Continue brother! Your mind is far away stronger than you think.

hellojaani · November 23, 2020, 7:03pm

Its never about the amount of days in our life that matters most… its the amount of life we had in those days. The largest daycount for all of us will be… the amount of days after we die.

TheWillToLive · November 25, 2020, 4:21pm

I failed as well. It’s all good. Just getting back on it.
We’re all human who can’t measure to Olympian standards.

Busyman · December 6, 2020, 8:17am

Hai brother Jouswa
How are you ?

Busyman · December 6, 2020, 8:30am

Spelling mistake… apologize me

Forerunner · December 6, 2020, 2:43pm

@Busyman I’m doing well Deva, thanks for asking bro.

I appreciate all the comments and support shared here.

ciwsnoob · December 14, 2020, 5:49pm

hey joshua, hows it going? hope all is well, haven’t heard from you in awhile man.

Dean_Ambrose · December 14, 2020, 6:26pm

I think he is doing great , he is having a 24 days streak , I have added him as my companion that’s why I know his streak.

Forerunner · February 22, 2021, 1:42am

Been a while been a while been a while…

It’s great to be free. Thank GOD!

To not have this sense of fear and regret and shame hovering over my head all day. Not feeling that I’m being deprived or missing out by not engaging in PMO. Being able to move forward with confidence.

This is a sense of freedom I didn’t even have when I passed 8 months PMO-free. As sad as I was when I relapsed from that streak, I’m very glad and thankful that it happened. It gave me the chance to grow and dive further into recovery and understanding myself more, and truly break free from that old, dark prison cell we call the PMO relapse cycle.

There are many other things I want to do and achieve in order to get myself on a solid foundation, and I’m very grateful to have the confidence and the sobriety in place to do so. To get my spirituality, relationships, health, career, finances and hobbies to a happy level.

Here’s a poem I wrote back in 2017 about how I imagined life would be like when I was free of addiction. (It’s even better than I thought!) I don’t know what day I was on then, maybe day 10-20. 2 months was an unbelievable milestone back then, and I didn’t even dare to dream about reaching 90 days.

Finally Free, 2017

I made it. I’m finally free.

I’m happier than I ever thought I could be.

I’ve done more than I ever believed.

Now I see how I was always meant to be.

I’m not afraid anymore.

I can speak my mind.

I’m no longer unsure of what life has in store.

I’m excited to discover what I’ll find around the corner.

I’ve never had this feeling before.

This constant freedom to let go.

To live a real life that isn’t a show.

This knowledge of who I am and what I want.

The courage to fail so that I can grow.

No longer having to hesitate before I speak;

no longer worrying about appearing weak.

And though there’s darkness and the future’s bleak,

I charge forward without a doubt or care.

The day’s full of life, there’s no moment to spare.

There’s so much joy and laughter and love to share.

Every new morning’s an opportunity to start again.

The chance to bond with a friend, or to make amends.

The choice to correct rather than complain

Forgive it all and let go of the pain.

I made it. I'm finally free.

I only wish the world would join me.

Never lose hope! It’s possible! Thousands are breaking free every day!

P.S. If you haven’t read easypeasymethod.org yet, what are you waiting for? There’s a reason why people keep recommending it!

Always thank GOD for everything.

swayam22 · February 22, 2021, 2:11am

Keep on going. We are with you and yeah I saw your 250 days streak go in vain in the yt video.
Just keep that confidence you will win.

Forerunner · February 23, 2021, 5:55am

@swayam22 Appreciate that bro!

Forerunner · March 1, 2021, 10:39pm

Pray you guys are all doing well out there.

I heard this brilliant quote today, thought I would share it with you guys:

I believe I’m going to suffer if I don’t PMO.

But the truth is, I feel so much stronger when I don’t PMO. I have so much more energy when I don’t PMO. I feel great when I don’t PMO.

Most of the time, I don’t even think that “Oh, I have to PMO right now.” Which means that I don’t always suffer from not PMOing.

The belief that I’m going to suffer if I don’t PMO is the MAIN REASON WHY I suffer when not PMOing.

The belief that I’m going to suffer is what makes me suffer. That’s crazy. It’s literally just my mind.

Because I believe that in order to have pleasure and get a great release, I have to PMO, that’s why I feel the need to PMO. When I recognise that the belief isn’t even TRUE, it’s no longer a problem!

Incredible!

Always thank GOD for everything.

Hardmode123 · April 29, 2021, 2:15am

Long time since you visited forum. Where are you?
I am watching your YouTube channel.

Hardmode123 · May 9, 2021, 11:03am

@Forerunner , this forum is missing you.

Forerunner · May 22, 2021, 10:45pm

The keys are on the inside too!

The best time to change our lives is now - today is the day!

Day 1: 21st May 2021
Rank: Prisoner

Prayers
24 Hour Fasting
Listened to Qur’an Recitation
Watched Informative and Religious Videos
Started Reading NoPMO Book ‘The Easy Peasy Way to Understand the Easy Peasy Method’ and Taking Notes
Daily Walking (16.6km)
Mindful Breathing
Kegel Exercises
Household Errands
Applying for Jobs
Conversation with Loved Ones
Gratitude
Recorded Video

Always thank GOD for everything.