Yes brother @PrDr going back to Day 0… That’s what scares me the most now. Also that’s the one helping me from staying away from PMO. i can actually visualize the things that will take place after the very moment of my relapse. I don’t want to go through all those things…
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You’re doing great, brother. Don’t be afraid of wet dreams. It’s sign that you’re moving in the right direction. You’re on the way to greatness 
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Remember bro why You started, this thing is the reason why you struggled a lot. This thing is the reason that you are not able to perform your best. It’s limiting your potential. If you lose brother. This year too 2021, You will be struggling with it 
Don’t lose brother. Your mind will trick you to relapse, It’s just about one day. But think in a long run, this is like a drug bro, this is an addiction. It won’t cost you a day. It will cost you Year 2021. You could achieve a lot in this Year. But because of this filthy thing You will not be able to perform your best.
I know brother You are strong, after all you are one of the old members of this community. I have a lot of respect for you guys. 
If You don’t Fight, You can’t Win. The only way to win is to Fight 
Fight Bro Fight
We are together in this 
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Thanks a lot brother @rewire_user
Thanks for reminding me to fight. I will fight.
Also i have to fight against many things in my life right now. Thanks for the fire ignition…
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Day 40,41,42,43 and 44 completed.
Day 40 to 42 was tough, included urges.
Day 43 and 44 were easy because I’m spending time with my cousins… so very less distractions and no urges!
Few more days left to beat… 
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Keep going bro… All the best.
I am watching you bro…if you can do it…I can do it.
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Day 45 completed.
I’m having many erections and my tool is getting into a good shape than before… i guess that’s natural and good. But I’m scared i might fall for the erections and sexual tension getting built up with it… I don’t want to relapse even if it a natural non-p0rn urge…my mind is messing up with me… it is telling me to reward myself with a Good fap after my target is reached. But I don’t just want to reach my limit, but i want to go further beyond it…
Writing it all down over here makes me feel good and overall reduce the urge…
Thanks @neo_150 for your wishes, not just me, not just you, everyone can do it. It just needs some recollection of memories about what we are going to lose which is so important for us if we keep fapping.
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Don’t Relapse now bro … You are doing good . It’s very difficult to come out of chaser , so control the urges .
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Yes brother @Dean_Ambrose I’m giving all power that i have for this streak… it’s like my last chance to become a normal guy again.
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Day 46 completed yesterday.
About to complete Day 47.
And today, guys i got my first nightfall. After 46 Days! It happened at 7:45 AM.
I was sleeping, but i was not sleeping on my stomach, i remember i was watching an erotic dream, and since it was about time to wake up, i was getting back partially into my senses, so i remembered the dream and the load building up in my tool and it getting exploded out… and trust me, my one hand was under my head and other one near my chest. Trust me, I didn’t touched it nor accelerated the process in any way at all… it just happened within few seconds…
To be honest, i seriously tried avoiding that erotic girl in my dreams too… i thought it was happening in real and i was about to relapse… (i seriously did this…I can’t believe it, i tried to maintain my NoFap streak in my dreams to, that’s the new me!) But since i was still in the sleep, i couldn’t control beyond a certain limit and my tool exploded (and i knew this happened, i could feel that explosion) and after two minutes i woke up… straightaway went to the bathroom and changed my pants.
Funfact :- when i used to fap like a moron i never had nightfalls. And today this happened. Before this i guess i only had 2-3 nightfalls and that too when i was on my good 20+ streaks.
I actually feel good after this nightfall because this makes me feel that I’m getting back to normal… I’m actually happy and after the nightfall i feel much lightness and i believe that i will get less urges now(because the load is out- because of this i was getting a lot of urges)
Now i need your opinions on this. I’m uploading a vote, and please reply too.
Is this a relapse? Should i reset my counter for this?
- YES
- NO
0
voters
Edit :-
Some of you might say that if i was partially awake and could feel it happening, why didn’t i suddenly wake up and avoid it from happening.
But i didn’t, the reason behind it is :- the erectional tension and load was at it’s peak(this was getting built up for past 2 days, i could feel it) so even if i had woke up suddenly, i would have ended up fapping which i would have regretted. So i let it happen in my sleep… and i did not enjoy it. I think it happened in 2-3 seconds after that erotic girl can infront of me in my dream.
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Its ok bro… Don’t take it seriously… It is good… You will feel light now… But don’t preassume anything… Like now you will not have urges etc.
Just observe…embrace…counter and repeat.
All the best bro.
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@neo_150 Yes brother i will not preassume anything… you are right… that will lead to over-confidence…
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Day 47,48 and 49 completed.
One more Day for a half century!
Urge report :- after the nightfall(3 Days ago), i have not been hit any urges!
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Day 50 completed.
Happy for that.
Other than that… Worst day of my life…
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Day 51, 52 and 53 completed.
Problems are going no where, stress is going no where, obstacles are going no where, bad times/rough times are going no where. They will always be with you(without it there is no human being) So learn to live with them.
In addition to that, practice working hard on yourself, practice self-care, practice self-love, enjoy self-company. And always have a smile on your face(if you practice the above things, smile will automatically be there on your face.)
Let this sink deep in you…
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Read most of the part of your diary brother.
Saw your ups and downs and have seen you conquering your addiction.
It was inspiring.
In my words I found the message from your story that
We all do mistakes at some point of the life knowingly or unknowingly but I think the courage to keep trying and removing our bad habits after every failure again and again is what it takes to become a true warrior.
Good luck brother
I will check in with you from now on.
Currently I’m on day 7
I also got failed many times
But I will try more harder this time.
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@deepakthewarrior hope my diary will help you in any way it can… I’m always there to help you…
Never giving up is important…
You can do this brother…
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Day 54 and Day 55 completed.
Nothing to say, just following what i said in previous streak update.
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Day 56, 57 and 58 completed.
I’m getting heavy urges to watch p0rn…but no urge of fapping… But i know if i watch it, i will do it(MO)… Please save me…
I’m just 2 and half days away from beating my highest streak…
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