(23) Simon's journey to quit porn and masturbation forever

July 4:

Waking up at 6:30 AM: :x:(8 AM)
Meditation/Yoga: :x:
Workout: :x:
Time spent for university: none
Urges: average amount when i got back at home
Masturbated?: /
Peeked?: /
Streak: 12 days

Today was the last day at my parents place. I drove back home today and the moment i entered my bedroom, i started to have some urges, whereas i didnt have any at my parents place. I will keep that in mind. Its kind of scary how the humans brain works sometimes.

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July 5: Just shortly after i did my last entry on this thread i had extremely strong urges during the night and i almost relapsed. I thought alot about my addiction and the arousal of my body in that moment and i was able to not get controlled by erotic thinking ( i dont know how to exactly describe it, english is not my native language). I am very proud that i was able to resist one of my strongest temptations this far on my journey.

Waking up at 6:30 AM: :x: (Overslept alot)
Yoga/Meditation: :x:
Workout (every second day): :x:
Time spent for university: almost no time
Time spent for side job: 4 1/2 hours
Urges: some (terrible urges the night before)
No masturbation or peeking
Streak: 13 days

I have fallen back into my old habit by oversleeping a ton again. It never happened the days before at my parents place and now my apartments welcomes me with terrible urges, less productivity and a huge amount of oversleeping.
Atleast i know now that i can never allow myself to be complacent again, because my mind will trick me again to fall into bad habits. I really have to establish new habits now and make sure that they replace my old ones.

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Waking up at 6:30 AM: :x:(8:45 AM)
Yoga/Meditation: :x:
Workout: :x:
Time spent for university: none
Urges: none
Streak: 14 days

So my day was pretty useless. I didnt do anything productive and i am sad that it seems way too easy for me to fall into bad habits. There is a good thing though worth mentioning: i am now 14 days off of porn and masturbation since my last relapse!

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July 7:

Waking up at 6:30 AM: :x:(8:45 AM)
Meditation/Yoga: :x:
Workout: :x:
Time spent for university: not much, but very important time
Time spent for side job: 2hours 15min
Streak 15 days

I did the tasks with the highest priority today for university, but nit much else. Though things are still not ideal and my sleep schedule especially is really bad, there is still hope i can improve in these areas. I just have to find some sort of rhythm again.

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July 8:

Waking up at 6:30 AM: :x:(8:25 AM)
Meditation/Yoga: :x:
Workout: :x:
Time spent for university: 2 hours
Urges: some mild ones in the afternoon
Peeking/Masturbation: nope
Streak: 16 days

Not much to say about today. I am still missing the drive to be more productive for university. One of the people in my shared appartment had their birthday today. So i tried a little bit to take part in social interactions in that regard.

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July 9:

Waking up at 6:30 AM: :x:(8:25 AM)
Meditation/Yoga: :x:
Workout: :x:
Time spent for university: 2 hours
Time spent for side job: 1,5 hours
Urges: pretty strong ones after dinner
Peeking/Masturbation: nope, it was close though

In the last couple of days i have had more random erections than normal. The “strongest” one i had today some time after i finished dinner. It just didnt go away and because it was going on for such a long time my urges got stronger and stronger. My body and my brain wanted to convince me to just start masturbating, but i was able to stop myself right there and think very cautiously about my next actions in this moment.

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July 10:

I will sum this up shortly: It was a pretty lazy day with not much productivity. I woke up at 8 AM. And i had no urges today.

Streak: 18 days

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July 11:

Waking up at 6:30 AM: :x: (8 AM)
Meditation/Yoga: :x:
Workout: :x:
Time spent for university: none
No urges
No peeking/masturbation
Streak: 19 days

I again was pretty lazy, unfortunately. Not much to say.

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July 12:

Waking up at 6:30 AM: :x:(8 AM)
Meditation/Yoga: :white_check_mark:
Workout: :x:
Time spent for university: basically nothing
Time spent for side job: 4,5 hours
No urges
No peeking/masturbation
Streak: 20 days

Still the same issue: i am not productive enough. But in terms of PMO i feel confident. I finally did meditate today and it was great. I am also close now to hit 3 weeks PMO free!

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July 13:

Waking up at 6:30 AM: :x:(8:15 AM)
Yoga/Meditation: :white_check_mark:
Workout: :x:
Time spent for university: around 4 hours
No urges
No peeking/masturbation
Streak: 21 days🙌🏻

I have worked on a presentation today with my project group that we have to present on Thursday. Not much else has happened today.
It has been 3 weeks now without PMO and it feels great to not get controlled by it😊

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Update for July 14 and 15:

I was pretty busy with preparing my presentation in the last two days. I couldnt find time to make an update here because of that. I held my presentation today and it went well. Pretty happy about that. I wasnt nervous at all, even though i usually am in these moments.

July 14:

Waking up at 6:30 AM: :x:(7:30 AM)
Meditation/Yoga: :x:
Workout: :x:
Time spent for university: alot
Urges: not really, but some sexual thoughts
No peeking/masturbation

July 15:

Waking up at 6:30 AM: :x:(7:15 AM)
Meditation/Yoga: :x:
Workout: :x:
Time spent for university: 3 hours
Urges: none
No peeking/masturbation

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July 16:

It is pretty hard right now to go back into a full work routine after my presentation. I tried to be productive today, but somehow just ended up watching youtube videos or reading books. A pretty rough day, even though i atleast woke up at 7:30 AM which is pretty good. I had some urges in the middle of the day which i guess is less common for me. Most of my urges are normally in the morning or in the night. I didnt relapse though and was able to overcome any cravings.

Streak: 24 days

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Alright, so:

I have finally read through the whole EasyPeasy book and i will apply now everything that i have learned.
For those who havent read the book yet, i highly encourage you to do so.
Here is the link one more time: https://easypeasymethod.org/

My entries here will probably look alot different from this day on. I will fully commit to do the methods that i have learned. Which included going for the last visit on pornographic sites to show that i dont give up anything. I dont need porn in my life and by visting it for the last time i saw everything that is wrong with this industry.

The book showed me that counting the days free off porn is also not very helpful. I will reset the timer however, because i just looked at porn for the last time in my life. I am very confident it is the last time.

YIPPIEH, i am a non-PMOer!:muscle:t2:

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July 17:

Alot of things have happened today. I have read the EasyPeasy book till the end now i aquired a new strategy to overcome my addiction once and for all. I also worked alot for university, starting in the afternoon and working till the end of the day.
I feel great right now. I only have reset the timer, because for implementing the EasyPeasy method i had to visit a pornographic site for confirmation that porn is not worth it to hold on to and i am now truly free from it.

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July 18:

Woke up at 8 AM
Didnt meditate
Didnt do a workout
Studied for around 2 hours
No urges

I could have been a little bit more productive today, but i am okay with how the day went.

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July 19:

-Woke up at 8:15 AM
-Meditated
-Didnt do a workout
-Didnt do much for university
-no urges
-no porn/masturbation

I am getting less and less productive again. I really want to change something, so i will try to start the next day right. I also had my therapy session today. It got pretty interesting and a little bit uncomfortble. I am already looking forward to my next appointment with alot of questions in mind.

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July 20:

Woke up at 8 AM
Meditated
Didnt do a workout
Worked around 2,5 hours for university
No urges
No porn/masturbation

I changed my meditation routince since i have started applying the EasyPeasy method. I know fill my routine with thoughts about myself and who i am. That i am not addicted anymore, that i am a non PMOer, that i can do useful things in my life and those things are not porn, because it is useless to me. Things like that can put me in the right mindset and rewire my brain.

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July 21:

Woke up at 8 AM
Didnt meditate or workout
Worked 2 hours for university
Some urges
No porn/masturbation

The EasyPeasy methods helped me overcome my urges today relatively easily. Still want to do more for university, but otherwise feeling alright.

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July 22:

Woke up at 10:50 AM (overslept)
Didnt workout
Did some sort of meditation
Worked around 4 hours for university
A good amount of urges that kept coming back
No masturbation/porn

Even though i woke up late today, i was more productive than in the last days. I still dont find time for workouts and i had alot of urges today. I was able to fight them off by reminding myself that i am free from porn and porn is useless and doesn’t give me anything when i watch it.

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July 23:

Woke up at 9 AM
Meditated
Didnt workout
Studied for around 4-5 hours
Very small urges
No porn/masturbation

I am feeling like i get a little bit more productive day by day. I will have my last examen (for a while at least) on monday and i think i can pass it.

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