[23 M] Slave of allah's journey to purity and sincerity

In the name of Allah,
Assalamu alaikum

Here I go, after giving a lot of thought on whether I should start a diary or not. Been in this app for about 7months, still struggling to reach a month.


Joined gym and went consistently for a month and made a 20day streak. Now waiting for Ramadan to get over to join gym again, because it really helped me to focus on self improvement.

Though I have avoided relapse during day time because of fasting.


Will try to check in daily about the productive things that i did during the day.

I am on day 1, give me advices y’all. I have many companions who have helped me and given advices but I have followed them for a while and got lazy and fell into the Satan’s trap again and again. Now Satan doesn’t even bother me, I am falling into his footsteps with the training that he has given me.


Have been looking for a job since 2 to 3 months, didn’t put the effort that I should have put, still trying though. Will complete my Mba by next month or so, in sha allah

Need to complete a project, the deadline is tomorrow, I am still way behind, will do it tomorrow before the breaking of fast in the evening


Day 2

Still going. Had my cousins family at my home, did fun and socialising with family, due to lockdown we had taraweeh at home.

Few urges here and there but overall I was in control

As for the tasks I had to do, I did some of my project work but couldn’t complete thankfully the submission date was postponed.

Read 5-6 pages Quran in the morning yesterday and got busy later… and didn’t reach much after that…

Overall I was 50 50, not following schedule properly can later make u not follow the schedule at all and that is how we get lazy and boredom and finally think we have nothing to do and relapse.

I must be mindful and do productive work.


Day 3,

Still going, wasn’t as productive as I should have been.

Read more than 1juz Quran.

Could have used time more productively.

Prayers are going on at home due to lockdown here in India.
Will start Reading books.

Had ordered from Amazon few months back.

“The history of Islam”
Its written by: Akbar shah najeebabadi
Revised by: Safi-ur-rahman mubarakpuri…

It is in 3parts.


Day 0 again…

Relapsed, was having urges all the way, but I was controlling somehow, guests came along for 2days and that helped.

Being at home continuously is not good, but i have no choice but to be at home due to lockdown.

I am lazy to do exercise at home,

Will come back stronger…

One day i will pass this test and be free of this addiction
In sha allah…

Joined a few challenges here in the forum but failed within hours, damnit.

I will control myself and come back stronger…


One thing that I can’t understand is that I am able to control myself during fasting period, and relapse at night after breaking the fast. Is it because there is a limitation, which is(my fast will break if I do pmo?)


Hey bro
Good luck ,this time u will do better

Bro, something about ramadan-fasting

Fasting isn’t about food, its more about deeds and thoughts, and good intention and forgivness

When u have Eftar (the first mea-after hours of no food) thats not breaking fast, the fasting doesn’t end here.

At ramadan, you fast all day long 24 hours a day , for 30 days, so after Eftar, is were the hard part begins, (after you took all the blessing from god (you were blessed with all the food and water)) the true fasting begins, will you still be loyal to god, and follow his teaching ?!!

So my friend remember well, you don’t fast 12-16 hours (or idk how much , depends on location) .you fast 24 hours every day for 30 days.

And this Idea will help you keep going.


One last prety important thing about ramadan and fasting.

When you fast all ramadan, you don’t do it just for ramadan, I mean you dont get better just for ramadan, and just in ramadan.

For your fasting, sacrifice , pattient , prayers , to be true and honest, you should do it in intention to get better in life, this means to be better even after ramadan and keep everything good you learned from ramadan, every new good quality.

Good luck my friend
You can do it

Remember god is your friend, he loves you
And you can always talk to him , tell him how u feel, ask him any question. God loves you, and will take good care if you :slight_smile:


Thanks brother for the motivation and clarification. I will go strong. In sha allah.


Day 1 going strong Alhamdulillah.

Let’s goo


@slave_of_allah Sorry for hearing about your relapse! And I am so happy you stood up again. I am sorry I may be a bit talkative and this message may end up being a bit long.

First, I want you to be very careful in these upcoming days. Do not binge or something. One relapse pulls another. So try to be very strict with yourself. I used to binge a lot and I usually give it 5 days. Try staying away from watching for 5 days and hopefully you’ll return back to the road.

Second, you mentioned that you relapse at night. As @Rab_J mentioned, Ramadan is a full day. Yes, masturbating in the morning breaks your fast, but this doesn’t mean nights are open. Last Ramadan, I used to relapse a lot at night, and one day I accidentally masturbated in the morning and I felt verrry bad. So take care of that. Also, try making use of your nights. Try spending more time with family, try reading more Quran, praying more Tarawih, and try making your nights more closer to Allah. Keep your phone away and don’t go for social media at night. These are the things I do to not relapse at night.
When an urge comes try postponing your watching for an hour or two, till Fajr gets closer. Try then praying or reading Quran before Fajr. And know that Allah is watching, and that Ramadan is a very blessed month and is Allah’s best month, so would you really do what Allah forbids you to in his favorite month? What if I told you Allah comes to our sky at nights, and replies to anyone asking for his mercy and forgiveness, would you want Allah to meet you with this act. Ramadan my brother comes once a year, and the amount of forgiveness and blessings is verrry large.
Ramadan is very ritual, and if we can understand how important Ramadan is, we will do more than what we can to make use of it!

Third, we are approaching the last 10 days or Ramadan, which are, as the Quran mentions, better than 1000 month of worship. So, let’s not waste those 10 days in watching this bad immoral behavior!

I ask Allah his blessings and forgiveness for everyone, and that He guides us to the right path.


Aameen, you are correct brother…


Jazakallah khair ya ikhwan for your advices, I will definitely by the will of Allah, stay away from triggers and be mindful of my thoughts,

May Allah for forgive us and guide us all to the path of rasoolullah and his companions.
Let us all enter make efforts for pleasing Allah and to attain Jannatul firdaus.


Day 2, going good by the grace of Allah.


Day 4,

Completed my project by 99%:grin::grin:

Took care of urges by some cold showers.

Going with a different mindset with the tips of my companions here.


Good return Keep discovering yourself more, do not give into your past impulses .


In sha allah sister, I will try my best to be productive and always aware of my my triggers.

May Allah(swt) help us all with our struggles


Day 5 :grinning::smiley:

Go go go mahn, don’t look behind on your errors to weep, but move forward to succeed.

Allahu Akbar


Great brother!
I am proud to see that you made it to 5 days.
And InshaAllah you will hit high numbers soon.

Never give up and continue fighting…