[23 M] Bytewar's diary: Onwards

My journey to realizing my potential.

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One thing I’m pursuing is getting the driver’s license, I’ve already passed the field test and I’m waiting for the computer exam.
I have to revise the book now.

After I got the license I’m planning to subscribe to the gym.

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Day 1
Early to bed early to rise. Transport to work takes more than an hour so I read books on my phone, same thing when I go back home. Trying to avoid the TV since it makes me stay late, I don’t watch much, just casually, but that’s enough to mess my schedule up.

That’s about it for now.

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Rise up again brother!

It’s time to wake up! It’s time to change your life! Getting your license, going to the gym, improving in your career and finances, being happy and productive. You have what it takes to break free.

No amount of binging will satisfy you. It’s not pleasurable, and it’s never enough. One website has enough pornographic videos that it would take over 10,000 years to watch each one. It will never be enough. The only way is to leave it all behind. You’re not missing out on anything by escaping the addiction. Life is so much better without it, you finally advance and achieve the dreams and goals that have been dancing around in your head for years.

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Day 2 was clean.

Today as I woke up, I had the urge and my immediate reaction was to fight it while staying right there but it was getting stronger and I knew if I continue to struggle with it I’ll lose, just like I did many times before. And so I counted 5, 4, 3, 2 … UP! Made my bed and off to my morning activities. Later I was glad I didn’t relapse.

After I went to work, I got an urge to watch, and I watched some gifs and I stopped it there but, I fear this might lead me to relapse later tonight. If I sleep before 10 I can avoid any urge so I’ll do that. I’m heading to make it for a week.

Onward!

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Good work brother :+1:

Remember though that if you find yourself in a position where you cannot escape the urge, instead face it head on. If you have read any of my posts on this, then you should try it out. I will repost it below for you. But what has worked for me is to write exactly what the urge is saying and discover its reasons for occurring, then I am able to counter argue with it and beat it. It may take you several times to finally beat it, but it can really make the difference.

And if it’s relevant, try to end the journal with how you are going to address the urge (this only really applies if it stems from a need, i.e. needing sleep).

Stay strong man, I am praying that you make it through this night :pray:

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