[22M] Pingpong1 diary - PERSEVERANCE

Haan bro.

:joy::joy::joy: 2 Saal kha Gaye …

All the best bro… :facepunch::facepunch:

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:joy::joy::joy::joy: pata nhi kyun itni jaldi time beet raha hai

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Maine ek YouTube theorist suna. Vol rha ki hum Sab 2020 k baad mar chuke h. Alternate universe m h :sweat_smile::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
Hand to hand dislike … Dobara Kabhi ni Gaya un galiyon m…

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#SasteNashe


.

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12 may
rwlapsed twice. feeling like shit… because this time i was helped by god but i let him down again…
man i feel lost…
woke up 6:40
study 10 min
yoga :white_check_mark:
Read a book –
Meditation :white_check_mark:
Prayer :white_check_mark:
I am thinking to take a break…
I am really thankful for the help of God. And sorry for not upto the requirements…
I think after fighting so long I have settled in being less aggressive. I don’t fight like old times. I just keep going with flow …I don’t know what’s right now… well I have other things to focus on also…
Alright friends good night

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Relapsed on rewire anniversary. :cry::sob:
:man_facepalming:t4::man_facepalming:t4::man_facepalming:t4::man_facepalming:t4:

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Oh damn man :sweat_smile:, I didn’t even notice that.

Anyway bro, forgive yourself, what’s done is done, it’s your anniversary let’s partaaay! :partying_face:

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Leave it bro. Don’t be tired of failing. Just rise from the ashes. Any way happy anniversary bro :partying_face::star_struck::grin::balloon:

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It’s hard to forgive. It was like an golden chance but I think this was not completely my fault. 40% was situations but situations come and go. I have to be strong…

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  1. I am promising myself to never watch porn again and try hard to be productive
  2. I rather be bored but not watch YouTube useless videos.
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Was a tiring day. Travelled in bus but also didn’t waste time . Listened to audiobooks. And good theme songs.

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Bro , in my vision it’s better reading a book rather than hearing audio books . Reading a book is a lot differ than an audio book. It’s experience is very different. While we reading our visualisation power will get increases. But your choice . You can chose it bro. Well all the best

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I was traveling in bus so I thought to hear audiobook. But I prefer physical books . I read from them daily . Today was exception

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Woke up 7 felt good after complete sleep
Study—
Yoga–
Meditation :white_check_mark:
Prayer :white_check_mark:
Read a book :white_check_mark: (listened to audiobook)
I travelled back to home due to 4 day holiday.
So , travelling was tough due to excessive heat and transportation problem… bus stop was emptied due to police exam in Rajasthan. I don’t find connection between them :sweat_smile:
had to become rough. Had a verbal fight with greedy conductor…:facepunch:
Now feeling at peace at home. Home is home bro. Nothing more better …
Good night . Hare krishna

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Here’s a video that helped me get back the basics about self improvement journey some of which I was forgetting.

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Thanks bro. Really appreciate it…

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14 may
Now at home . So tried to atleast complete main activities
Woke up 6:20
Meditation :white_check_mark:
Study—
Yoga :white_check_mark:
Prayer :white_check_mark:
Read a book –
Good night hare krishna

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I was so indulged that I didn’t update here for few day
Woke up 7
Yoga –
Study 20 min
Read a book –
Meditation :white_check_mark:
Prayer :white_check_mark:
Be a fighter. Fight for yourself. People consciously or unconsciously can say or do wrong things to you. Don’t take everything to heart. Fight negativity and spread positivity.
Alright good night. Hare krishna

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20 may
I lost again and this made me little emotional. Coz I felt the addiction still lurking around smiling(evil) on me .
I was having so much urges from 1-2 days because you know how much parents make you eat. It’s like my stomach was always full.
So when I was travelling back to hostel(today) I was aroused so many times . I was having fantasy dreams. They were so frequent that I couldn’t control all.
When I arrived I was half way convinced to fap but still I avoided it and tried to connect with friends but unfortunately both my friends were out. And no one around me.
But, I realised my mobile internet is done. And I have zero balance online.
And that’s where I found out my addiction. I called my friend to send me 20 rupees and I recharged for 1 gb and then I relapsed with porn twice :sweat_smile::neutral_face::sweat:
After clarity , I am feeling down and again my confidence in myself has decreased.
It will take some time to be calm then I will make some decisions…
Man fuck this addiction. Its been almost 7+ years till I am addicted and still I am at same place…

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20 may
Making plan for tomorrow. Let’s see.
And other thing is I need to focus on a new thing rather than fighting this addiction to overcome it.
I will write time table for tomorrow now.
Good night

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