[22 M] Enu's Journey

Enu · March 21, 2021, 3:08pm

Week Zero + 100 Days Challenge:
March 21/2021: Failed
April 11/2021: Failed

April 18/2021: Current Streak

I am new to this forum but not new to No-fap.
For this week I have been sober, and will count all the seven days as “Day Zero”
I hope to see my self a changed man in some respect this year.
Will try to log everyday as a beaver
I will be concise in whatsoever I write in here, Also not willing to Stop at just 100 days.

Find Me @

When Urges Hit You Hard:

Relapses:

11-April-2021, Sunday (22 Days)
17-April-2021, Saturday ( 5 Days)

Enu · March 22, 2021, 3:58pm

Day 1:
Initial days are for me always easy to follow, however to really benefit out of this process I need to hustle, tire, workout even more so that the thought of it does not cross mind !

Waking-up:9am target 5am, will sleep by 10:30 pm

Prayer: Yes.

Study Schedule: Made a plan, will now follow it.

Health: couldn’t follow both diet aswell as exercise schedule hope to be more active Tommorrow.

Digital Detox:not really, binged Peaky Blinders… Will have to change it aswell.

Reading? : Looked up online for a new genre, not looking for anymore of the classics. “All the light we can not see” looks promising…

Date: 22/March/2021

Enu · March 24, 2021, 11:40am

For Day 2 and 3:

Was Not able to update timely as we had a major power outage after yesterdays’s storm.
So i’ll put trace of “How my Second Day was” in this post.

Day 2:

Studying(2 hrs)

Reading: Started Reading A Thousand Splendid Suns By [Khaled Hosseini]. The other book might have to wait a week.

Waking - up: 9:30 am, Not desirable i slept late, at about 3 in the night.

Productivity: At least I started Studying the biggest hurdle is to always start, which now had been overcome.

Prayer: Thankfully i was Consistent.

Health: I followed my exercise routine, and ate healthy, So still good enf.

Digital Detox :Power outage {I am Thankful of it, i read a great deal on my kindle.}

Date: March 22, 2021

Day 3[Ongoing]:
Another Small Success, was able to fend of the desire’s(Honestly did not even think of “it”)

Waking up: 4:14 am, I don’t know what was it that made me wake up so early… through out the day i did not feel any desire to sleep… I made good use of it … However as there was no electricity (Power backup )to fund my studies, i failed in that aspect.

Prayer: Yes, Mind you i was never a guy to sit down in peace and be thankful for all that i have, i guess its changing one day at a time.

Studying: I’ll try to Study For about 2 (hrs) but can’t be certain, will update.

Reading: if not study at least i was able t read for a significant amount of time. about 3hrs reading that i can account for. Khaled Hosseini all the way.

Diet: Did not eat anything up until now, No protein no Nothing. its not healthy, but again due to power outage could not make anything… i guess electric cookware is all not that great.
will go out tonight to have something, just to tickle my taste buds.

Productivity: keeping all these things aside, the fact is it was not that productive through the day… and a fact is a fact … so no, will try even harder tomorrow.

Health: Haven’t followed Exercise Schedule due to whole facade, but soon will be back on track

Digital Detox: Power just came back, but i think i might just be able to fend of the desire for a few more hours, Wish me luck

Date:March 23, 2021

Thanks for Reading this
Have a great Day.

Enu · March 25, 2021, 5:02pm

Day 4:
it was a tough Night, yesterday: was talking with a girl all night, can’t go in the details, but i can bet you… she likes to tease… i could have stopped chatting but i didn’t … i could have tipped of my rockers… but i didn’t and for that i am thankful…
I guess i will have to be absolutely be off the phone … or at-least not on my bed while i talk to her.
keeping that aside…
Today was a very hectic day… had to work just got of work… its not usually like this but today i guess was different.almost 14 hours today… but wfh let’s it settle in easier.

so i’ll be quick here to update on my chart:

Waking up: 8:46 am, i slept late… but with all this i got to know at thing or two about me.
1.>I sleep exactly for 6 hours.
2.>Morning Suits me, So going to bed before 11 will suit me always.

Prayer: will try to do that before, i go to bed.

Studying: nope, Not a single page.

Reading: couldn’t do this as well.

Productivity: worked - 14 hrs

Health:woke up late, and yes that’s no excuse… will try again tomorrow.

Digital Detox: it was on and off, but i need to control myself even more.

Today was neither bad nor good, it made me realize a few things, will try to work on them…
all the are now troubling me … have to change them to

Date: March 24, 2021

Thanks for Reading this
Have a great Day.

Enu · March 27, 2021, 9:52am

Day 5:
Yesterday was a busy Day so could not update the log… However I am still waking up Late,
Prayer
Studying
Work: Busy Day… Normal hours however the work was tiring.
Health: No Diet As well as No Workout,Really have t get up early.
Digital detox: I was not on my phone, however was on my desk all day… No social media to follow.

I’ll try to update the Day 6 log as today is a busy day as well.
Day 6 :
Only choice for me is to hustle , i don’t like the job i am in and the work well i don’t like it either… thankfully i have not yet given up on my dreams… and i will surely see them to the end…
Wake up: 9 am, Will have to really change this one habit …
Prayer: Yes
Studying : 4 hrs (2 hrs g 2 hrs Al)
Reading: 1 hr
Work: Today is a weekend so thankfully no work.
Productivity: Fair enough, i could have made it a much better day… and i hopefully will.
Digital Detox: i was on my phone for a fair dink-um time… in all honesty for all the l=time that i did not study i was on it … “DOING NOTHING”.

Does breaking a bad habit or Making a good one, Both take same amount of time??? I wonder…
Have a great Day.

Self- belief Deep Breaths Commitment

Enu · March 28, 2021, 4:33pm

Day 7
I believe i am not doing justice to the no-Fap, or the time i am sober… i wasn’t doing much while i used to relapse day in and day out.
I do get a lot of free time, Now that i do not concern myself with the “provoking thoughts”. I somehow manage to mess all the time i have on something or the other which is absolutely a time waste.

Let’s take today… all i did was sit on my phone all day and wait for tomorrow…
I do say i need to change, but i wonder when.
I wonder how different would i have been, if i hadn’t at all divulged in the the “pleasure for a second” sort of a deal…

But this time i can feel it… I WILL CHANGE.

Tomorrow is a day as good as new.

as for the or sadly i would not even bother today… as it was unmistakably a very lazy/ unwilling day for me.

But hey, thanks for reading it through.
Have a great day

Self- belief Deep Breaths Commitment

Enu · March 29, 2021, 2:41pm

Day 8
it was a great day today, Installed Digital detox, just to keep my mobile usage in check.

I was out almost all day, it was Holi…

I researched about my future options and now i am even more confused, since i started. But i am hopeful for being a little bit more clear headed by Wednesday

Am reading two books side by side, A thousand splendid suns is almost done, And the second one being Why I am an Atheist - Bhagat singh… Haven’t read much of it… but it looks promising.

Self- belief Deep Breaths Commitment
Date: 2021-03-28T18:30:00Z

Edit :

Once you start working on something, don’t be afraid of failure and don’t abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest.
-Chanakya

Enu · March 30, 2021, 3:41pm

Day 9
It was all fun and games till noon when i got to know that my father might have covid - 19, and that’s pretty regular, in 2021, he has some symptoms as in High temperature and upset stomach.
I hope he is up and running soon.
Can’t write much today. but i did most of what i had set out to do for today.
One thing i realized that, I am a shadow of my father, I mean i have been under his shade for so long, that now I am completely depended on him…even when I have a job which pays good enough, It is all together a fearful thought.
Maybe it’s my time to branch out.
That is why for me now, No-Fap becomes even more Important. For me it is now the one way to be out of his shade and make my own mark.

I want there to be some aspects of my life that remain stable on which I can always rely upon… And to build a relatively stable future as such, I will have to start with the present… With a that I have got !

Cheerios!!!

Towards a better tomorrow !!
Self- belief Deep Breaths Commitment
Earth will still keep on rotating and revolving, it never stops. !!
Date: 30.03.2021

Enu · March 31, 2021, 6:02pm

**Day 10 **
It was well a happy day altogether, but most of time i spent was at the clinic waiting for the Covid test, Dad did turn out to be negative… which was a relief, but still we were advised to keep check fr a few more days.
Hopefully everything will be back to normal.

Anywhooo… its day ten pretty normal tbh, but felt to be on track for something good, finally!!!

I try to nt give the number of days any value, but it is great to have some small accomplishments to hold on to … so for this 100 days challenge 10% of it is done for … it would have been my 16 day in actuality, had I not counted the whole first week as Day zero, as during that time i did peek into some vids that i shouldn’t have.

it’s good to live life, rather than just passing time.

Cheerios!!!

Towards a better tomorrow !!
Self- belief Deep Breaths Commitment

Earth will still keep on rotating and revolving, it never stops. !!

Date: 31.03.2021

Enu · April 1, 2021, 2:27pm

Day 11

How did My Day Go?

Great Day Full of Energy, Did Almost everything Else Only thing i did not do was Study.
But what a day it was. Feels good to be back on track. No-Fap makes me more hopeful of the future by carving out most of my day Nicely.
Spent a significant amount of my time with my family. Also tried doing Sun Gazing… but i think it’s not for me.

Anywhoo here are the stats for today

Waking up : 5:01
No sleeping During the Day
Digital Detox- For the past two days my phone is n Digital detox so can’t really access anything, Moreover i now have joined so i’ll try to overcome my Phone usage as well.
No Gaming
Prayer
: Reading : For almost 1 hr.

Studying : Not one bit.
Vocabulary: have left it in between, Consistency is the key…
Productivity : overall day was a happy happy , except studying i managed to do almost everything.

To Do:
Plan The Next Day.

Cheerios!
I believe I Will Do It !!!

Towards a better tomorrow !!

Self- belief Deep Breaths Commitment
Date :01-April-2021, Thursday

Enu · April 2, 2021, 2:18pm

Day 12

How did My Day Go?

what a day, simply put it was altogether Awesome… i finally managed to get the Terracotta pots for the plants from a nearby nursery and was able to re-pot about 12 of them , i’ll do the rest of them tomorrow.

I am in a conundrum So, prior to nofap…I used to sleep during the day time, but now after a few days in i feel as if i my body wants to rest but my brain wants to part of it… keeps me awake… I dunno if this is a good thing or bad… but for the time being i will try to make the most of it.

Will go for a bath now!
Will keep updating.

To Do:
Plan The Next Day.

Cheerios!
Don’t get comfortable !!!

Towards a better tomorrow !!

Self- belief Deep Breaths Commitment
Date :02-April-2021, Friday

Enu · April 3, 2021, 2:16pm

Day 13

How was my day?

Yet again it was a great day, I did get some Urges, its the only time to be cautious … I usually have high urges during the second week… will keep that in mind.
writing a journal does help, and would try to be more consistent with the timing of writing one.
I managed to plant over 60+ pots today, arranged them and learnt some new things about them, i mean i just love plants.
Anywhoo, again I have all this dirt over me. Will be off for a bath !
To Do:
Plan The Next Day.
Cheerios !!

Self-belief Deep Breaths Commitment
Date : 03-April-2021, Saturday

Enu · April 4, 2021, 1:38pm

Day 14

How was my day?

Pretty Awesome, i finally started studying for my for my masters program.
it was 5 hours today… Not much i know… But for me starting is always the problem.

All thanks to the challenge i am in of rewiring habits, i soon hope to Make studying at least 5 hrs each day a habit, no matter what is the outcome.

Office has been light for some time. So all i have to do is to study … ig

I did not use my phone altogether the whole day, and honestly i am loving the experience
I probably will keep this routine up for at least 200 days … I am hopeful of it !!

I have read a lot of entries on this forum, and i am awestruck by almost all of them…
how ever now that i know a little bit more about no-fap than before… i will now try to keep my reading to only a few entries a day maybe 5-10 not more.

Will be off Now… Tada

And yeah… many many thanks to @Adioz_aka_Adidas[Rewiring Habits] and @strongwillpower[Rewiring Phone Addiction] for letting me in on their challenges

Cheers!

Towards a better Tomorrow

Self-belief Deep Breaths Commitment

Date : 04-April-2021, Sunday

P.S : I HAD TO LOG THIS, SO … I FELT SUDDEN TINGE OF SUCCESSIVE URGES, i.e. URGE AFTER URGE FOR A BIT NOW, SO I DECIDED TO TAKE MY MIND OFF IT BY LOGGING IT…
I WILL TRY WITH ALL MY RESOLUTION I WILL STAY TRUE TO THIS PURPOSE.

Also From Now on
Even a Peek will be considered as a Relapse…

unwashedmasses · April 4, 2021, 3:57pm

Add me. I’m in. My sharing code is umasses

Enu · April 4, 2021, 4:00pm

Sure budd,
I tried doing that… it is unfortunately an invalid code… Please do check!
#Tag @unwashedmasses

unwashedmasses · April 4, 2021, 4:32pm

Here you go. Try this. udhqn3

Enu · April 5, 2021, 11:08am

I must Share this

it’s Day 15
Monday - April 5/2021

I am really “excited” right now… its been some time since urges hit me… it’s my fault honestly.

So … what went wrong??

I slept on my stomach, was wearing tight garments around crotch area…
And to all those who have already assumed, the answer is NO.

No i did not soil me-self, fortunately i woke up way well before it could ever happen, but i had no clue that sleeping on your stomach could be that bad.
In No-fap I have realised, you have to be always vigilant
To Care :
1.Not to sleep on your stomach , rather not to sleep during the Day time.
2.Eat and drink even less before sleep.

Will update about my day in the evening!!
Cheers Now

P.S. the urges are all calm now… journaling Helps

Enu · April 5, 2021, 3:06pm

Day 15
Heyyy, Finally we made to the end of this day…
Urges are under control, And now i am all happy happy

How was my day ?

So barring the urges I would say it was an okay okay day. I am sure it’s no flatline… cause i have never been this enthusiastic or FREE ever [at - least this year] .
They say that flatline creeps in during this time but I think I still do have time to prepare myself against it.
I have noticed my emotions being heightened. I am being more proactive than I was before.
Small Small changes that will probably make difference , hopefully someday soon.

I have now induced a fear in me - self : that of watching series, or youtube, or even gaming
Idk what will make me loose this streak. I really really do fear of when my urge will take over me… but then I remember that in the past I have been able to control my urges… The only thing for now is to control my EYES, Have to carefully let them see only what I want them to see.

The only way I used to get triggered was when I used my phone and when on bed.

I have changed a few habits of mine giving me more time to think and not to be rash when urges hit.

Habit's that i am trying to build...

Keeping my window curtain open at all times.
Keeping my door unlocked at all times.
Digital detox [app] to keep my phone away.
while sleeping, not taking a pillow.
Drinking a lot of, i mean lot of water… keeping myself hydrating, also helps in keeping the body temperature normal.

Changes that i have seen.

Being honest… a relapse is a relapse
Being Very open, i have never seen this much excitement in me since long
I now tire less [Compared to my earlier self]
idk about brain fog… but i feel FREE
My emotions are heightened
I now have A LOT OF TIME.

Anywhooo wrapping this post for now…

Cheers!

Towards a better Tomorrow

Self-belief Deep Breaths Commitment

Date : 05-April-2021, Monday

Enu · April 6, 2021, 2:38pm

Day 16
Disclaimer : this post might contain some trigger words which I’ll try to hide
Not the Best of the days, So a girl … [Contd in hidden Part]

Do not read, it might make you relapse

"Breathe, Think Twice .... Are you Sure?? Cause there are some trigger points here...

[Cntd] pinged me after a long long time. I still know that time i was with her, it was fun.
but now that we are in covid i am back to my hometown and have not texted her, but i know what will happen if i did… i am so confused… as

She is not my type but, would still keep my option open… I am just being greedy
2.She is fit, and that’s what I am afraid of… She like to tease…
I am on No - fap And I Fear that She might make me loose this streak.
She is heavy on sexting, instead of a Hi, I usually end up getting a pic… thank fully though this time it was just a “Hey”.

Now what i am confused about is, Should i Or should i Not ghost her…

I fear that my saga of One Night Stand with her would eventually be done. “The End”
But on a second thought it Feel as if I would be more free… it’s more of a test…

On One hand there is me being greedy and on the second hand I want to improve And I want to get out of this vicious cycle…

I know the choice is easy, but the devil sits right on top of me

Now that said, The day was not at all productive, i mean it did not start the right way, As i said my emotions are heightened, so i easily get sad or excited… today i was more of a sad day .

Anywhoo …

All know that I d not want to give up !!
Will wrap this up,
Hoping tomorrow be a good day, better than this one… I want to start tomorrow with a clear concise…

Cheers!!

Towards a better Tomorrow

Self-belief Deep Breaths Commitment

Date : 06-April-2021, Tuesday

Enu · April 7, 2021, 2:26pm

Day 18
I am rushing to write this Log as there is a power cut today at my place and I don’t know how long will my laptop support me in here.

How was my Day?

I try to be happy all the time, but today I felt that there was no motivation in me…
I woke up and at that particular moment I was absolutely on fire…I did my Exercises and followed most of my morning schedule, but suddenly all that shot of energy was gone… However I read today… and i was shocked at how much i could read… or even sit continuously for so long to have a good read…
But you should know that the book was not at all bulky it was down to 125-ish pages only, but still me sitting for an hour and a half is a big deal… I mean Continuously.

There are things that i want, but when it comes to hustle for it, I turn my back on the amount of hard work it is going to take of me, to beget some positive change.

I will try to be a better version of what I am today, Also will gather courage to face my reality.

Thanks & Cheers!!

Towards a better Tomorrow

Self-belief Deep Breaths Commitment

Date : 07-April-2021, Wednesday