[22 M] Enu's Journey

[Enu]

I must Calm My self
Few hours until day 19
Woke up early feeling way too horny… I can’t even express my self or what is was feeling down there.
I never knew that No - Fap Memes could calm your urges, its something that tried and honestly it was worth it.
It took me over 1hr and 45 minutes to calm myself, But I think it was worth it.
It’s not like I hadn’t had any urges before, but this one was different…
It was early when I was alone, My devices near me and again just waking up mind usually does not think clearly… But Now that I surfed on this urge I am feeling splendid !!

Cheers
Keep Strong

Edit: This is the link which had them memes:
48 Images For Nofap Motivation (andreian.com)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------EDIT 2---------------------------------------------------------------------------
So half a day has been done and today has been such a roller coaster, at one point I wanted to cry, I mean why? I don’t understand… the last time I had such a flatline… or is it a flat line… idk
I have no motivation to do anything today… I don’t get frustrated easily but this time I am a confused about what it is …

comparing to the last streak I broke it cause of flatline, I had a sudden surge of emotion and suddenly I was so sad, that I broke it… At that time I had no clue what flatline was … I hadn’t read a lot and I was relatively new for this process but now I think I know a bit more.

But the main question remains, what to do during this time?? do I continue as if nothing weird is happening? or do I rest? should I go out?? or should be in my garden, doing what I love the most?

When does flatline occur?

According to blockerx.net :

• During the first three days
• Once you pass the second-week mark
• End of month one.
• Mid and end of month two.

Net-Net it occurs around every 15/20 days, I have no clue how long it lasts but on average its about 4 days… so should I wait for 10th of April? or should i start living my life !!

I guess the choice is simple and not at all complicated unless i make it to be.

You know what I might have M today if it wasn’t on the other habit.
So I stress ate today!!
it was so long since I ate junk food, that my mind said to me “Fuck it eat what ever you want.”
I am thankful that it wasn’t the other way around !!!

I will figure this one out on my own tho … cause in the end we have to … else the cycle goes on!

Keep strong!
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Day 19 , Evening
There’s nothing more for the day, Only achievement for the day was No-Pmo and for that I am thankful!
Will end the day here…
I have no clue of what to expect from tomorrow

Catch you later !

Date : 08-April-2021, Thursday

[Enu]

Day 20
It wasn’t the best of the days, no motivation, didn’t even go out much either.
I think it is the end of my flatline…I will try, no… I will not
I will let my flatline play out what it wants and then at the end I want to see through it.

Fun Fact, so there is a little exercise i used to do, to check my nervous system.
so what you do is you raise your arms and raise it so as to make it parallel with the floor and then you open your fist and spread your fingers of that hand, as much as u can, you wait 10 -15 seconds to see if your hands start to tremble… I checked it today… And mine didn’t earlier I always failed at this but now I guess, I am getting normal.
it’s like my 2nd day in flatline, maximum I can wait is 4 days and then I will have to be back on track…

so again I did not do anything

Thanks & Cheers!!

Towards a better Tomorrow

Self-belief Deep Breaths Commitment

Date : 09-April-2021, Friday

[Enu]

Day 21
They say that, habits are formed in 21 days, but i think it is not true… at least in this case …Year on year, day on day I have done this… gone through this so many times… I think it will take a lot more than just 21 days.

Even if i peek today, i am sure that I might fail… my heart is wobbly in this case.

So it will be far much beneficial for me to not to fall for this trap and to just go without peeking.
A thought which came across me today, was are the benefits of no-fap temporary… or are they life long…
I was in flatline period with no motivation till yesterday so it’s normal of me to have these sort of thoughts.

But times have changed and so should I.

Will keep you updated, today I am a lil bit sleepy, Was out driving almost all day

Thanks & Cheers!!

Towards a better Tomorrow

Self-belief Deep Breaths Commitment

Date : 10-April-2021, Saturday

[Enu]

Day 22
End of the current Streak.

There is no other way to put it, That I relapsed. I fear that if I do not report it here… it would feel like cheating my self.
Now what lead to relapse.
1.Closed doors
2. Closed curtains
3.Number of days of passive living, No exercise, No studying.
4.Reddit + Telegram
5. No motivation… Could have stopped but well mind games.
6. Did not activate digital detox today.

Will now reset the timer to 7:30 IST /11-April-2021
Hopefully I will make it to day 100 soon.
Fortunately tomorrow is Monday, will Hopefully again start the streak with much more motivation.

Screenshot of Current Streak

[Enu]

will update both day 0 and day 1 together
Day 0
Done, there were urges… but this recent streak helped me to get over them.

Day 1
I am so grateful that there were no chaser effects till now.
I know that my dairy entries are now shorter than they used to be, and the reason is simple … i did fail myself once… and somehow i was disheartened but now i think i might be able to pull it off and make a comeback, this time even stronger

I think my will took a dive back then, and gave into it.

I hope i come out of this even stronger!
Thank you

Date : 13-April-2021

[Enu]

Day 2
Okay Bois !! So I am Back - day 1 and day 0 is just normal, they never make you feel good… atleast to me it just felt as any other day…
But the game starts at Day 2 (Technically day 3) … this was the only reason why I used to keep first three days as “Day Zero” But its better to realise that number is days does not help in anyway, but how you mold them days to your advantage is what actually matters.

Anywhoo i am starting to hate indoors again… which for me is a good thing.
Energy levels are a lil bit higher than what I had a on Day zero.

Also planning on making my entries more structured, so as when I reflect back on myself, maybe a year from now … I am then able to read my own story.

For now it’s bye bye !!

Cheers!

Date : 14-April-2021

[Enu]

So Yeah I had relapsed yesterday,

So I am Starting Again … But this time I will do as I used to do earlier…

So I’ll be keeping first 7 days as Week zero Not counting it in my streak, I usually require this to calm myself down.
Moreover I’ll be leaving my country soon… so would need to get back in shape … so exercises and grooming is a must as well.

Also i have switched my phone off for 30 days (Digital detox.) One thing that i noticed and i know is true… that the only device I relapse on is mobile, even i had my laptop i did not use it for that… anyways it does not matter now that i have relapsed…

So it’s Sunday (18-04-2021) , and will target for Week Zero Completion first.
Still my target of 100 days will remain the same… but the counting for my 100 days will start after week Zero !

Cheers,
Keep Strong !
18 - April - 2021

// Completed : Week 0 Day 1

[Enu]

Week 0 Day 2
Completed
I am bit a busy today, as like i was yesterday… So i’ll come back tomorrow and update about that as well…
Also lost heavy on some of my investments that i made… Have to bounce back soon !!
I didn’t want to break the continuity so that’s why is came here

Cheers
19-04-2021

[Enu]

Week 0 Day 3

How was my day ?

A great day indeed, But I need to improve a bit more day by day… Made good profit today… Now I can sleep well Hopefully tomorrow’s even better
I want to be a little bit more productive with my time from now on… I made some mistakes even today … but still it was a good day.
Will keep the entry short, but know this another clean day feels good !!

Stay Safe, Keep Strong !!
Cheers!!

Date: 20-April-2021

[Enu]

Enu
Week 0 Day 4

How was my day

I really have t rush, can’t really type in a long entry today… But yeah that feeling of being free, is coming back to me…
traded few assets, was a great day all in all … will see good returns soon.
However I feel bad for not studying, 5hrs is not much … and now I’ll have make certain, of where do I see myself in the next 3 years … it’s crucial time for me.

Okay now Have to go

Cheers
Keep Strong, Stay Safe!

Date: 21 - April - 2021

[Enu]

Enu,
Week 0 Day 5

How was my day?

It was a below average day, I mean not at all productive. There were some strong urges, But overcame them with ease.
Sometimes I feel that I have no motivation left maybe rightly so, I am so puzzled by everything in front of me, unable to clearly think of my chances.

I hope with Passing of days I overcome my own fears and lessen the confusion that I currently am in.

Cheers
Keep Strong, Stay Safe!

Date : 22 - April - 2022

[Enu]

Enu,
So… week Zero went well.
I was very busy for the past few days, s couldn’t come up here… However I’ll try to be more consistent.

Now I have two Choices either i start counting my days from today / or / From 1st of may??

Idk Maybe i’ll decide that later… rn i have to go

Keep Strong, Stay Safe.

Date :26- April-2021

[Enu]

Still keeping busy, i get tired at the end f the day … feels like ages since i used my phone. …

I will be regular here writing my Entry every day … Hopefully in the coming month …

this week is going to be rough, bit more work than i anticipated.
See you At May 1