After all the efforts to take down this animalistic action, I have failed a ton of time in the past 2 months.
Ngl Iāve enjoyed, I chose it consciously thinking this would relieve me in some sense. However, the end result always keeps the title of āRegret, Reduced Efficiency & Increased Impulsiveness/Urgeā.
The ultimate realization for almost everyone (including me) is, if we keep being entangled with these low hanging fruits of pleasure then how can we aim for the highest ones.
So, my aim currently is to get back to my core self of past which had a deep control over the urges. And with that make it till atleast 90 Days, when I have one of the most important exams and ultimately remove it outta life.
Finally, I am going to journal in short my everyday (although it 70% study, 10-15% workout ,etc) such that I have an accountability factor which I ignored in the first place.
So lets BURN THIS EVIL DOWNNN!!!
Feel free to add me in your list
Sharing Code : t9w0si
Day 1
Continuosly pushing to complete my goal till the deadline I fixed.
Did great amount of (calisthenics + running) workout ā 700cal burnedš„
Feeling kinda overwhelming rn, due to the humungous works to do.
Still, Iāll do it, whatever it takes!
Day 2
Studied well
About to complete the immediate goals tomorrow.
Did more running today and few bodyweights.
Found that I was losing control over phone usage, with that realization, putting a hold over myself.
Day 3
Pulled off more hours in study
Bringing some changes in my workout , thinking to dedicate a single day of week(1hr) on running other than the daily dose.
Kept a hold on myself for phone usage.
However, Iām still in some self-doubt, feels like I can not connect to my natural element for past couple of days.
Iāll try not to let this feeling bring me down, but to help me reach the actual confident element.
Day 5
Went rough for studies
Could not devote hours coz of some family work.
Did not even went outside for workout.
Day 6
Classic sunday for me where I give tests and take some rest while having good meals.
Although the disturbances were present, I shooted through them and gave 2 tests, analyzed the first one partially.
Modifying myself to be concentrated enough that even in exams where the location may have multiple noise sources, I would still be no hard-affected.
Thatās a short goal I realized for upcoming months.
Day 7
Studied half as fixed in my schedule.
However, today was relevant for picking pace.
Renewed my workout after the 2-day weekly break.
//āIf youāre in India, weāre in for an amplified distatrous summer soonā//
Also, realized that the opportunity given to me is precious enough to be taken as opportunity of improving life of self and othersš
Day 8
Today was much better than previous day, was focused in the initial hours of schedule.
Did a whole hour of running , max burn to 777kcalsā¤ļøāš„. Although, I still need to build stamina to a better position.
These days, engaged in family works, so cant peak in hours.
Day 9
Spent Holi well while eating a lot of dishes
I had the instinct that my daytime would be spent with family and no studies, so I extended the timings of night study at the start of 8March.
No workout for today(if I went outside today, then I wouldāve been no different than a rainbow )
Struggling to get more concentration and hours on studies these daysā¦but Iāll break this cycle today.
Day 10
The festival is over. Time for pleasure-seeking is over.
I noticed since yesterday that I have rightly regained control over phone usage. It has happened by the challenges I made in my mind.
Another keystone for today was, I continued my intense workout with max burn 724kcalsā¤ļøāš„ā¦This was special bcoz I actually wanted to get rid of music during workout, and accidentally I forgot my ear buds at homeš¼
Thus, without any layer of music dopamine, I did well in my workout.
Study Hours will be increased to a new plateau from now onwardsā¦however the problem of concentration still needs to be conquered by mešŗ
Day 11
Study was disturbed to some extent due to some self-grooming tasks and fapping today.
I was worried altogether that one relapse would destroy the momentum, it does that but to minimize the damage, we need to push ourselves into the pending scheduled tasks and forget about whatever happened.
Good thing is, I still went for workout instead of ducking it, max burn for today was 774kcalā¤ļøāš„ā¦my running has increased and improved significantly in last 3 months.
Relapsing is a bad decision to take although, I have forgiven myself for the mistake and raised the stakes to not let it bother my life during the recovery process.
todayā¦Happy Holi to all!!
