@The_Rising_One hai bro i know you … i think we had some conversation 1 year ago or so throw dm i read one of your post in the forum about how you told your problems to your parents and that motivated me to do the same… which was like a verry bold move from my side thanks to you that gave me a lot of confidence… and support from my parents. Hows your life going bro ?
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Day 9
Wake up 6:00 am today forgot to set an alarm and i naturaly came awake at 6:00 so there was no time to do the full practice i justed sticked to the 21 min shambavi.
So in todays practice i was not able to maintain the intensity verry well i was lossing awarness here and there but my postures where right and i was aware that i was getting distarcted also there was issues with the timing instead of 21 min i ended up doing for 30 min need to work on the timing maybe by doing how much does a 6 min feel like in my free time can help me maintain the timing during the practice. I am noticing that i am getting distarcted from my goals and a little decrease in motovation during morning its maybe because i am not keeping the practice alive throw out the day. The practice works more if you can keep it active throw out the day.
So today i am going to be aware of the things that i learned from the 4 agreement book
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Day 9
So when i was doing my kriya today so many things was going throw my mind its not the first time this is happening to me last time when it happened i found out that the mind will only keep silence if you organize your thoughts and goals so it doesint need to keep on creating ideas as thoughts all the time loosing ones focus.
So in this i am going to write down every thing… why i started all this in the first place, to bring some clarity
So it started on 1st of october it was during the pooja holidays and i got a 5 day leave straight. So i decided to go home…since my cousines was also having leave during that day we decided to go for a small trip, i was a little low on motivation during these days since nothing was going my way and i was not in control of my life. Self confidence was below the line.
Thow every one was enjoying the trip i was not since i was not happy with my life and myself these was the time that i think about pmo so much too. Pmo was not the problem actually but the guilt was there i just watched pmo just to hurt myself beacuse i was not happy with my self and my self respect was at its minimum.
We went trip to a hilly area and the atmosphere there was verry nice with cold wind the place felt spiritual so i decided to move away from my cousines and sit alone on top of that hill facing the mountains i told my mother i was not feeling well and sit there alone.
I was trying to find a solution to my problem sitting there then i got this realization about how i am always thinking about the future or the past all the time missing to act in the moment…it was great for a moment… i felt so confident and my mind was so clear. I started practicing doing action in the moment without worrying about the future using evey single opertunities that the present moment bring me
That day i got confident and started talking with my cousines and my insecurities just wanished i was trying to undesrtand them and started talking with every one with confidence beeing in the moment focusing on what i am doing at the moment for eg if i am talking to some one i will be fully aware of me talking i will navigate my communication rather than losing in the conversation.
After than on 3rd of october i was not having anything to do satying in home and i spend the whole day watching series. The next day continues the same in the evening just a day before i was going to return back to college my mother expressed her concern for me beeing lazy for all the day she know i want to be a pilot really bad and asked me that “will you think you can be a pilot if you spend all day like this” i know i was procrastinating and that was an habbit that was formed while at home when i had nothing to do and i know from previous experiances that if i force my self into discipline it will have high toll on me. So my plan was to turn slowly. But she was worried just how was behaving at that time i was slowly trying to change but that she didint saw.
So i explained her about it. I explained to her that how i became lazy coming home since i was not having anything to do and explained how i exersise and take care of helth and diet when i am at college i have to entirely different life in college(hostel which is far from home) and home.
I do take great care of my health and mind while at college but some times when bad situations comes i just break upart and end up feeling low self esteem and procastinate. She lisened to all of it and agreed to me and told me that she was happy for what i am doing and also told me that my father will be do his best for the fligbt training and what i need to do know is pass the enginnering and you can do what ever you like. That fill me with hope and i felt secure .
I also felt really bonding with my mother that day since we talked. So on 5th of october it was the day i came back to college while on train i was thinking about beeing a pilot so i decided that since she gave me hope that i can be what i want i decided to be concentarte on my dreams that helped me in not falling for distractions that happen in life and also be independed and work towards my goals beacuse of that single world from her that i can be what i want and they will help me (my father also told me he will do his best to get me in a flight school) it inspired me to work for my goal.
On reaching hostel i wanted to start working towards my goal so i decided to start doing my shambavi mahamudra constantly for 40 days which is one mandala. And i also stared retaking the super learner cource renforcing the learning techiniques like memory palace , sq3r ,chunking etc methods while going throw the syllabus i found out that daily practice is necessory to success in studying this techniques that how i found out luminosity app in the superleaner website which had so many games which improves cognetive functions and i started using the app every day it made me understand a lot about how my brain work and that gave me even more security and confidence in moving on with my life solving my problems
Parallel to this i was also doing shambavi and i was trying to bring more awarness and well being into my life i was serching for beeing independence and perosnal freedom from all the drama. So shambavi was the only way out. The kind of senations and wellbeing it brings in my body cant be sayed in words it make me grow a little every day but i was still strugling to maintain its presence throw out the day i feel the enegy while doing the kriya but i was not able to maintain it throw out the day what the point if you cant apply it in every day activity infact yoga means not to just do it in the morning and leave it behind the sadhanas you do should reflect in every thing you do in your daily life that how it become stronger.
So i was struggling to miantain it throw our the day it was when i got the book the 4 agreement i felt so inspired reading it and so much relatable that helped me break my old thinking pattern and to look and life with a new percpective with a differnt view so after that when ever i feel face a challenge in life or some insecurities come up i start figting against it replacing the normal compulsive responses like beeing sad or demotivated and made myself into a warriors fighting my inner conditionings from socity and the things that came to me thorw my insecurities
The 4 agreement are like a seed you place it on your fertile mind and use it in your daily life apply practice continuously with the best of your capabilities the more you nuture these ideas it grows every single day and you can enjoy its flowers
Things i need to remember
- need to act rather than thinking about it
- completing the super learner cource
- the 4 agreement
- voice app
- shambavi
- cycling and cardio exercises
- sleep
- replacing the usual negative thoughts with more
Positive one like as in the voice app
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Going great. A bit lazy these days because of the semester break 
. Trying to bring things on track.
Day 10
Today i woke up at 4:55 before my alarm was active. I was not wide awake i felt little sleepy so i rubbed my hand fast heated it and put it on my eyes. This is one of the techniques that i use to bring myself back online.
After that i started my kriya. I did my full kriya including the preparatory steps. My timming issues have not been sloved and i dont felt like i was not absolutly involved in the practice since there was not heat sensation in the body.
I think its can be solved if i can maintain my awarness and motivation throw out the day beeing concious about my action, so today i am going to do just that along with using my
- memory techiniques
- improving my language by using the right words
While talking or texting to bring more clarity to the
Mind
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Day 10
Today morning i was verry tierd reason unknown i had decent sleep yesterday but i was feeling really sleepy in class usualy i dont sleep in class but today i did. And also i was not able to work on my memory techniques or language skills because it need one to he active to do that other ways its a verry hard thing to do. So i didnt force my self which was a good decision.
Even thow i was feeling week i reminded my self to give my best to my capacity in every thing i do
(Superstore - A Lot of Firsts Today (Episode Highlight) - YouTube)
(thanks to “the 4 agreements”)
Didint go for cycling,didnt do daily training, but still manage to do the kriya
I think writing down my goals and why i started all this yeaterday bring some clarity into me i am now able to do my kriya the way i do before without any confusion in my mind.
Thats its for today waiting for my health to get restored hopefully i guess todays sleep will do it usualy it does
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The barrier to consistency
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Day 11
20/oct/2022
11:48pm
Wake up at 5:30 am in the morning i was feeling really drained today it was really an emotionaly exhausting day yesterday due to some reasons and the effect was there even after i woke i hoped the sleep would heal it but it wasint.
I woke up really confused and unmotivated so i decided to not go to class today. There wont be any tearchers today bcz of teachers training.
So i decided to give my self a break so that i can recover from my exhaustion days like today was i was most conserned of when i started this 40 days commitment dairy.
I decided to do the kriya in the afternoon since i was not feeling verry well to do that in the morning so i decided to watch some movies to cheer me up usually watching some malayalum movies (malayalum is my native language) usually cheer me up and help me get out of the routine thinking pattern.
The movies was great and i enjoyed it made me feel a little bit better but still i was so exhausted and confused and i was not motivated to do the kriya even some negative thoughts showed up and it was not in my control i felt really confused.i know giving up know will take me back to the a life style that i dont wish to have…so layed down in my bed and slowly drifted into a sleep it was 2:00 pm and i missed my lunch and i missed my kriya too but i dont want to loss the 40 days streak so i did it and it was one of the worst kriya experiance of the past 10 days…bcz of the exaustion and confusions i was not able to focus,pay attention to anything,keep the timing and not even breath properly with awareness but i wanted to do it so i did it.
Since i was so low on motivation i decided to read my dairy entries for the last 10 days when i recalled the experiances i had while this 10 days of time it gave me some energy from some where so i decided to go get some food and went for cycling the exersise bring backed my motivation and energy and i was back on track and surprisingly my afternoon kriya section was so intensive that i was able to feel that heat in the body very well
At night i also did my daily lumosity training and learned abot what what cognitive flexibility is saw some TED talks about it made me feel inspired…
I noticed that putting cold water on my feet and spending some time alone where there is no much light before sleep can increase the sleep quality so i did just that today and its after that i am writing this dairy now
Overall it was a really bad day with a really good ending i am glad that i took the choise of taking a break
Note:while cycling i noticed that rather than pushing your self while cycling going long distance in a single streach or climbing big steep its better to take brakes in between so the body can relax a bit so there wont be much strain that infact make cycling more satisfying and make me feel go every day
THE HEAT
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Day 12
21/oct/2022
7:13 am
Today i wake at 5:15am i only had about 4h of sleep going to bed at 12:30 am but i took care of how i went to sleep washed my legs with cold water and did the same with the face made a huge differents in the quality of sleep.
Waking up in the morning i was a little anxious dont know why…so i reminded my self of my goals not just as thoughts i also made sure i feel my goals and recalled the emotions associated with it i also reminded my self of why i wanted this goals in life that took away the anxity and bring some kind of balance
Before starting the kriya i spend some time focusing on a single object intensly and i notice that the mind was getting alert and that heat was coming to the body before even starting the practice the only thing in my experiance that i can relate to that heating of the body is the exam fever
Do you have this experiance before 2,3 days before exam where some kind of heating sesation kikcks up aka exam fever. And you become really focused and active its the same thing with that doing the kriya is really showing some progress.
I even in the background of my mind started counting and keeping track of the time hence the timing problems that i faced was solved did the kriya with the right amount of time
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Convincing the brain to stop
Day 12
21/oct/2022
9:51 pm
Morning went will, i was applying the skills that i practiced on the lumosity app into real life like the short term memory, cognative flexibilty, attention, speed of sensory input, multitasking etc. It made my morning really enjoyable…i felt so good when i started applying things i learned into real life its challenging and a new experiance
Today while i was making my ppt for the seminar presentation i was trying to apply the skills that i learned throw super learner it worked well and also i reminded me of the luminosity app language games. My ppt was almost complete but towards the end i felt like i will take a break before completing the task but it ended up being not completing the work.
I read a quote today which sayed " If you want to be successfull dont seek success seek empowerment and competence And do nothing short of the best that you can. (The 4 agreement) it made me think about it. When i reflected back on my life with this quote i realized that i was not beeing success full in the task that i start
Eg:
- today i wanted to complete the ppt preparation
but ended up postponding the work - starting 60 days no pmo and losing the focus in
5 to 15 days
I want to be successfull in the things that i start now that part of my goals
Today afternoon i stayed back there was no point in going to college since there was no teachers and we where all sitting simply for nothing so decided to not go. But sitting in the room alone today was not some thing that i planned for today and i was not able to figure out what to do(these are the situations where you see the importance of cognative flexibility)so i was bored slipped on to pmo felt really guilty after that demotivated.
So i wanted to be successfull in stoping pmo for 60days because it take atleast 60days to completly clean out an habbit. My plan was to use the voice app for helping me convincing myself that its not worth it and to make myself feel all the good feeling that comes being in control and successfull on doing what matters
[60 days and i really want to stop it so badly]
Let me see if i am going to be successfull ones the brain is convinced that dont worth the time and it will never make me satisfied it wont be a hard thing to stop i need to practice some skills that learned from the voice app.
Need some activity to do that can keep me track on this 60 days probably it will be to use the voice app.
Day 13
There was so many things happening today did my kriya in the morning and afternoon but some really negative thoughts hit me in the morning and it had an effect on me for the entire day
There was a little argument about a project that we where on and i felt really unbalanced and anxious at that moment.
Went for cycling in the evining which game me some balance for a while but at night i was really tired and demotivated. So i Spend some time alone going to the top floor of the building where i stay and sat there for a while
…
Freedom
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Day 13
23/oct/2022
10:30am
So i wake up at 6:00 am today since its a sunday we will only have our breakfast at 8:00 am so i decided to go for cycling in the morning it felt soo good having some cardio in the morning.
While i was bathing i had a realization that i was all the time in my mind other than to be living in the present moment i was learning about a lot of things and memorise it but not applying anything into the world so i decided to dont use the mobile for a while other for
- writing dairy
- whatapp
- education
I recalled how i was not using my bullet journal and not putting an effort to complete my daily activities for my college, i remember how practicing memory techniques is important but the most important thing is to apply them into real world so to act up on that knowledge rather than remember it
The kriya went well today it gave me a sense of balanace while doing it i also had this old memory came into me about watching home alone that made me realize that what i am seeking in life is freedome to be independent and not to depend on anyone that thought gave me so much clarity because it explains a lot of things that i was desiring for the reason that i started shambavi was for this independents the reason that i started improving my cognitive skills was for this freedom
Any way the timing for todays kriya was perfect and althow that heat was not there i felt a little more balanced after doing it .
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Could you please tell how can we learn kriya ?
I learned it throw online from an organization called isha foundation you may know the guy behind all this his name is “sadhguru” first i was a little skeptical about him by the way he looks and all but after knowing him he was really inspiring
You will have to first take a 7 days online cource called inner enginnering online i will share the link here
After taking that you will get initiated into shambavi mahamudra kriya soon… i think they provide it online twise a year …
Step 1 - inner engineering
Step 2 - shambavi
Thats how it works .
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Day 14
Day 14 was a holiday too because of diwali and i am writing this dairy on day 15 since yesterday there new things to deal with and i got a little distarcted
Any way i completed my both my morning and evining session completly.
Back to the beginning
Day 15
Todays kriya went well wake up at 5:00 am
Today the kriya went well there was that heat as all ways but to maintain it throw out the day is where i fail
That reminded me about the things that i learned in my inner engineering cource its as important as doing yoga to remind your self and apply the things that you learn in inner engineering.
So i am going to be conciousness of the things that i learned in inner enginnering online today
The 5 rules
- all the rules are my rules
- i am responsible for every thing
- i am not this body i am not this mind
- inevitability of this moment
- i am a mother to the world
Day 15
Today did now go well as planned i was trying to be aware and be in control of myself but an unfortunate situation came and i lost my control i was starting to worry and i forgot my goals and every thing and was sinking into worry
Till evining it continues when i did the kriya as usual it made me enrgetic for the moment but i am not able to maintain it bcz i am forgeting to keep the practice alive throw out the day
The one thing about yoga and meditation is (my understanding) you cant do ones in a day and just leave it… you will have to act on it throw out the day
Since i an constently forgeting i have set some reminders in my watch hope it will work
Learning to apply
Day 16
26/oct/2022
Wed
12:41 pm
Today i woke up at 6:00am the first thing that i recalled from my mind as soon as a wake up was the 5 rules i really wanted to keep the practice alive throw out the day so i decided to set reccuring reminders every 30min in my fitness band so i did just that.
After doing the kriya in the morning i felt so balanced and i wanted to keep it throw out the day so i set my reminders and it works really well it reminds me of the 5 rules not just remind it but to feel and to be completly aware of it. I dont know if its a good way to say it as rules i think its more of like the 5 teachings
Any way keeping the kriya alive throw out the day is making me have more balanced in life
A well crafted day
Day 16
26/oct/2022
Wed
11:15 pm
I feeling sleepy so will keep it short
Today i was able to remind my self of the 5 rules it really helped me change my usal negative thinking patterns
I also noticed changes in my energy level during eveining because i was less moody today and i didnt allowed outside situation to bother me that much hence i was really feeling today evining
Getting better at using my tools
Day-17
27-oct-2022
Thu
9:00 pm
Got 5.45 hours of sleep today well i think that was not enough since i was feeling a little tierd in the morning while sitting in the class. Well i overcomed it with drinking a lot of water and being aware of my 5 rules.
I am now more able balance life by applying the teachings that i learned from inner engineering.
And recently i am faling in love with cycling a lot. I use to cycle a lot i love it. But recently i came across some youtube channel and some really inspiring cyclist around the world which inspired me a lot to take my cycling hobbie seriously. The things that i learn from those people are really satisfying and it gives results tooo.
Speaking about the kriya i am woke up late today, i wake up at 5.00 just to turn of the alarm i come awake at 6.00 am for the past 2 days.
I really dont want to make it a habbit will figure out it tommorow.
But with increasing work load from college i am worried that i will have to some day compromise my kriya and my sleep.
By using my tools that i learned from inner engineering online for the past 2 days i am seeing really a lot of energy to get things done. I was aware of this throw out the day and i found my self getting less relying on my watch notification because ones start using it. It will stay there you just have to make sure its there and not getting deviated.
Note for tommorows dairy = getting a little sloppy on how i present my diary entries need to bring some changes maybe reason= so many things to do and lack of time solution=find some free time
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