[20 M] Franks Uphill Battle

Day 0: I’ve been at this from late 2020 - current Day.

It’s gotten a lot better. At this point I’ve came to the conclusion that masturbating isn’t actually my issue, however porn. That’s the problem, so in order to fix things I just have to commit hard mode because I feel like it’s the easiest solution. Last streak died off today because I decided I wanted to worry about the dick measuring contest vs myself. But NSFW is no more here, I blocked reddit so all is well.

If your curious what my goal is with this, it to rewire my brain back to normal. My brains gone down this rabbit hole of porn long enough.

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Day 1: Nothing really happened today, was pretty normal as far as daily life.

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Keep going dude, you can do it! Read easypeasy^^ if you havent

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Day 2: And so it begins with the struggle bus… Woke up late but I kept going, no breakfast but it’s ok. I’m starting to feel urges to look at porn and yank my tank. But I controlled myself, kinda went mentally dead at the end of the day though and I ended the night with Call me Kevin.

Day 0 again: The Horny got to me, I pretty much locked everything down and I need to keep my head on track.

I started looking into the EasyPeasy Method, so far I’m not really sold on it but it’s a 100 pages (give or take) so it’s worth reading.

Also I’ve hardblocked a handful of sites. I need to take it in a more reasonable manner in the long run. The main problem I’ve got rn is letting my horny brain twist regular thoughts. This is the second time i’ve been on the border of buying a fleshlight + condoms to try it.

Day 1:

I’m starting to rethink my priorities. Today I really haven’t wanted to sit and watch videos all day, I wanted to do more productive stuff. So I got to work, however I’m on homework still & my neighbor is making life kinda difficult because apparently he needs speakers just to hear the music.

Day 2:

Helped a buddy move and my sister came home from her trip. My mood changed for the worst once the first thing she came home with is me asking me to carry her stuff (even though it was 2 bags and a 4 pack of rootbeer).

Day 3:

If this isn’t a sign I don’t know what is, I woke up late and I needed to use the bathroom for my morning ritual. Yesterday I was discussing how my mom always takes my sisters side and today that’s exactly what she did. So I just put my shoes on and ran. My entire day was off but hey, I got positioned as VP today in a club I’m in so that’s something. Also I started a 3 day print so wish me luck on that.

Day 4:

Again nothing really much going on, I butt heads with my college advisor. Turns out there’s a visual issue on the advisors side? Frustrating because I showed him that there was an issue multiple times.

Day 5:

I got distracted with watching videos of Escape from Tarkov and I reset my account on the game. I really do enjoy playing that game so I stayed up until 3am overall and ate way to much food. I let late night gluttony get to me and today I’m paying the price. Also I’ve been butting heads with my advisor and it looks like i’m in a losing battle.

Day 6:

Although I started the day late I salvaged the day, returned my printed & hung out with some college friends. Also had a sudden interest in books so I read a bit. Hopefully that’ll keep going, My 3 day print is almost done and it was almost perfect. For some reason it decided to randomly glitch/ “fail” but I decided that I just wanted to see what it looks like. Also sucks that I couldn’t hang with a buddy named Joe.

Keep it up, you’re doing great! Also good luck figuring out your college issue, hopefully your advisor becomes a tad more agreeable.

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Day 7:

Did a lotta sanding on my 3 day print. Also worked on some homework. I’ll be starting house sitting next monday with my sister. Also, this has probably been the worst day so far. Woke up horny and worried about my size, with that I thought about “toys” and condoms, I looked to Quora for answers. I blocked it later. Wish me luck.

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Good luck, you got this! Stay strong!

thanks! I’ll keep updating as I go. Some days I’ll post mid-day because I got home late the night before.

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Day 8: Of all the days I needed a decent amount of sleep + to have decent focus. Today was the day, and the exact opposite happened. All I was pretty much for a good chunk of the day I was tired, horny, and full of unwanted sexual urges that only the mad hare that wants to drag me down the fetishized rabbit hole wants. But will a little patience, distractions, optimism (and a whole lotta luck) I salvaged the day. I also wrote a personal confession about a VERY unwanted urge coming back and how my body worked against me.

I gotta get back to studying for an exam that I have tomorrow but I’m glad I got pasted that. But I know that more battles similar to the last will come forth so I’ll just have to bite the bullet when the time comes and find a way to Regain Control once more of myself. Until then thank god I didn’t almost rationalize looking at Porn or masturbating while still messed up in the head.

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Day 9:

I spent way to much time on a calc 3 exam (I don’t want to talk about it), I was really late to the start of my house sitting, on my way to that I think I hit 90% of the stop lights or got stuck behind “Sunday Drive Suey” on my way. I got there and I was locked out so I had to get new batteries for the garage door opener (that probably took me an hour overall trying to figure out). My sister is being a bitch complaining about her day (but refusing to discuss it) + her AC breaking in her car and being hot (which is funny because my ac is “broken”) she then proceeded to break the pantry door and blame it on me because I derailed then rerailed it about 5 mins before she got there. (It’s a group house sitting / dog sitting because it’s cheaper then kenneling the dogs) she didn’t even attempt to fix it, she just called my dad to come and fix it. I ended up doing it instead because it was just trail and error. I’m starting to come to terms that I have ED (hopefully temporary) & haven’t really had any sort of love interest in life and I really only looked for one for the sake of either Lust or other people doing it. The day has just been kinda shitty besides seeing dogs.

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I’m sorry your day has been so bad, I hope tomorrow brings more smiles your way. As for ED, I’ve heard of many people turn to nofap and have it work, and though I’m not sure of the scientific validity of that, I think it shows promise! Keep going man, I know it’s tough but you’re doing great!

The day could’ve been better. + I have a feeling the ED part will heal with time but I need to work on myself physically that would also help.

Day 10: I couldn’t even make it 5 mins into the day without havoc. My sister broke the pantry door for the 2nd time and my dad insisted on coming along to see how it “breaks”. I got back the house I was sitting and after gaming for a bit I found a new show called “Love, Death, and Robots”. It’s basically volumes of animated shorts that simulates the title, pretty cool only accept they start heavily relying on nudity in volume 2. It basically turned into porn at that point but for some reason my brain thought of it as normal TV so I guess it depends on the situation then? Idk but I didn’t eat dinner till late, and stayed overnight at the house I’m sitting because there was “a storm coming”.

On a side note, ever since I wrote the confession I’ve been in a flatline. On one note that’s really good, but on another note it sucks the only “blood flowing” I have is just the random moments that happen throughout the day. Also I don’t think I’ve had a nocturnal emission in the past month (which is good for clean up but worries me). Although I’ve been trying to achieve what feels like the impossible (90 days but I’ve “made it” 60 days on Easy Mode (I don’t remember if it was easy mode exactly or lazy medium ?)for almost the past 2 years. This whole thing of “Not Masturbating or watching Porn” feels new to me, it’s something that I did basically since day 1 of me turning 13.

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