Day 11:
I ended up staying over at the house I’m sitting overnight because my sister wanted me to stay. Probably the worst sleep I had in a while. I was so groggy I just zoomed in during class. The day felt really sluggish, I ended up taking a nap and waking up with a sore throat. At that point o just wanted to go home and vibe in my own home. Turns out my parents were coming over for dinner so I was there till 9 ish (give or take). Also I played COD Vanguard for the first time in my life, At least one the previous game you can tell who’s who. In this one everyone looks the same. Also snoop dog is in the game as a playable character (friendly reminder that this was supposed to be based in WW2)
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Note: I’ll be posting days 12-15 today just to catch up. I have a couple IRL friends I discuss this with and I text it rather than type it if I’m feeling lazy or half assing it.
Day 12: I stayed home again because I caught a sore throat, watched some cobra Kai, and almost shit myself because Skyrim moment (the wind opened the door leading to the garage and my sister was upstairs. Must’ve been the wind)
Day 13: This house is terrible for me, (context: a little bit of communication on my side but I’ve got another day of house sitting tomorrow) I’ve pretty much done nothing really productive and I’ve felt like a boring smuck because of it. I love my family dearly but I just kinda need outta here. Also I need to eat some healthy food
Day 14: I’m glad to be back home, after a long stressful day I’m back home. I don’t know if I just don’t like modern homes or if I was just homesick but I’ve never been so happy to see my own bed before in my entire life. A friend of mine offered to let me spend the night as a joke. But at that point I respectfully told in to buzz off because I wanted to sleep in my own bed.
Note Again: Going to do Day 15 Early because I feel like the rest of today is going to be uneventful.
Day 15: First day I’m home after a little while, I woke up late because I kinda screwed up my sleep schedule + my good habits of cardio & working out. But I did salvage the morning by actually eating food and jogging. I also went to my cousin’s soccer game, randomly out of the blue I had a thought of the Character Pyra from Xenoblade 2 doing suggestive positions with little to none clothing. (Hell right now I can feel aroused thinking about it) I held in, while typing this I felt truly aroused however I didn’t get any sort of erection. Oh well, hopefully that’ll come in the future. I only go into detail because I’m excited that this was a straight urge rather then a fetishized one.
Day 16:
A couple of things, today I let temptation get the better of me. Previously I had posted in past days that I’m anxious about my (I’m done sugar coating this) penis size. This time around with a lack of full erections I got to the closet thing I could get to, was hot pictures of the previously mentioned character. No dice… I really hope anxiety goes away eventually. Also I think I figured out that my ADHD symptoms are porn usage based. Lastly I think I have trust issues.
you can do it dude We are on your side
Day 17:
Trying to start being friendlier to my family. One small thing to start with is frequently eating with them during dinner. Also, overall, I’m being more friendly towards others in general recently.
Day 0: I messed up.
What am I going to Change: I tossed the emails the got to me + I’m going to remove the rulers that I could use to measure my penis.
Yeah That’s me, your probably wondering how I got in this situation. Well I need to come clean reset and refresh. For now on Youtube will be a reward rather instead of a daily thing. Also I uninstalled tarkov because it was taking to much of my time.
Day 0 today, 1 tomorrow.
Another day done, Resin printer is working and I mowed the law. Exam for my last class is on Wednesday.
Day 1 today, 2 tomorrow.
Mini Rant Time: Work went on longer than I thought it was, I have to study for an exam and now I really don’t have time so I’ll do some tonight and tomorrow morning. Talked with a friend this morning and he said “It’ll be fine”, Easier said than done in Calc 3 man.
Day 2 today, 3 tomorrow.
I took my final final and hung out with some friends. Questioned friendship and went from stressed and frustrated to pretty much numb. Went to my grandparents grave to talk, realized that I thought suicide was a viable option. I told them a handful of things and one important one is that I want to feel like I shouldn’t worry if thank you, sorry, etc. are genuine or not. I’ll probably see if my grade got posted tonight. I really wish I had one of my friends come with me because I still feel numb.
Day 3 today, 4 tomorrow
Woke up late this morning, started a wildfire in my friendship that only got doused in gasoline to make the situation worse. Friend is fighting demons that at this point I can’t help anymore. He’s turning into an ass so i’m just going to stay on the sidelines for now on.
Day 4 today, 5 tomorrow.
I ended up hanging with an old high school friend last night, didn’t realize how much of a Star Wars fan boy he was until now.
Day 5 today, 6 tomorrow
Woke up late but got a workout and jog in, also watched chip & dale with friends. In the future Apparently I need to be straight to the point and make decisions so we can figure things out. Also figured out how hard it’s going to be to break comfort zones. Day 1 done.
Woke up at a decent time, workout / jog / bike ride in. I also played quite a bit of stardew valley, & went on a couple walks with my family. Day 2 done.
Bounced around a lot today, looked at a couple bikes that made me want to ride bikes more, went furniture shopping and it felt like trying to buy a car, got my car’s AC fixed (finally I can use the power of both combined to maximize cooling), I watched Obi Wan with a High school friend, went to a pricey fair that has a good chunk of local restaurants, and stumbled upon someone that’s in military when he was leaving for basic. “Weed Bad” is my thought of the day. Day 3 done.
Just a quick little recap of the past 4 days, Sunday I went to a get together for my haunt that I work at. Got rained out and I didn’t really talk to anyone but on a good note I got to experience driving in severe flash flooding, I got to hang out with a close high school friend (Day 5 done). Monday was my first day of school. the my cc’s esports club also had a meeting for future plans, it’s ambitious but doable (Day 6 done). Tuesday was pretty uneventful. lifted weights, tried another bike, and went on a walk with my family because the wifi was having problems (Day 7 done). Yesterday was also kinda uneventful, I cleaned up the area in my room & ordered text books so I could actually work on schooling tomorrow. (Day 8 done)