20 february 2022
Woke up at 9 . Feeling like he is around me, my eyes were moist but i didnโt cry. I went outside to buy some stuffs, so i would say it was a busy day. Today we all were looking at his photos, it was relaxing for me, but painful at the same time. It actually feels like he is with me. His smile was priceless. I had some urges but i didnโt act upon it, i will fulfill my promises. Thanks a lot dadaji for giving me power today, love you a lot. Going to sleep early so that i can wake up around 6 or 6:30 am. Because of the work i wasnโt able to study properly. And guess what, i am back in my room, and hereโs that bed on which i used to sleep in his lap . Tbh in this room i feel more energetic.
Love you dadaji and miss you a lot dadaji, aap mere saath humesha rhoge.
Thank you and have a great life.
Sorry for you bro. My condolences, I know the feeling as I lost my grandpa when I was in 7th class. Stay strong
21 February 2021
Exactly 3 months ago, we putted cake in our mouth and he applied tilak(tikka) on my forehead . Went outside to buy some stuffs. While studying, as i closed my door, i saw his jacket, my eyes became wet and i hugged it and started to cry. I had really strong urges today, but my love for my grandpa was much stronger than it and i will hit day 4 within some hours, and i am on day 3,which is my highest streak of this year till now, i will keep on doing no fap till my last breath. I kept on relapsing for 2-3 times daily from the start of the year and God punished me in the harshest way by taking away my grandpa from me, I hate pmo, i hate it,I want to go back in time and want to slap as hard as i can, i donโt like those parts anymore. I just want him back, i want him to come back and hug me , i want him to do that magic again and want him to see in front of me .
You will always be in my heart dada ji.
23 February 2022
I relapsed , once yesterday and once today . I broke my promise , so sorry dadaji. This time i wonโt give up, i wonโt stop.
Thatโs all .
Itโs a hard time for you bro. Weโre with you.
Thanks a lot brother. I promise this time i will break all the records of nf and will keep on improving.
3 March 2022
9:25 pm
I reslapsed after 8 days , this was my second highest streak till now, highest streak was of 16 days which i made in Jan 2020 . I was feeling good,confident but I was having strong urges, i edged 2 day ago twice. After ejaculation i am having headache, and feeling sick and i will vomit anytime. My preboards started on 28 feb and will end on 5th march , I studied for almost 21 hours since last week(highest 5 hours in a day) , i didnโt workout because there was no space available because many guests came here , but today most of them went back to their home, cause all rituals are completed, my head is shaved and all.
Feeling like i am dead , broke promise again . I made 2 promises that day first was no pmo forever and second was my improvement . I am back at 0 again , why the heck.
I went to the room where his photo is kept right now, itโs my habit to walk while brushing and i entered there and saw his photo, i was going to sleep at 9:30pm cause I was feeling very low and tired after the relapse, but i spent there 40-45 minutes, time bohot jaldi bit gya, and i am feeling energetic now, I am ready and gonna win this time, i will transmute my sexual energy and keep on improving. Gotta sleep cause my eyes are swollen af, and my parents may ask me. This time i wonโt fall.
Things to do this time :-
Study
Workout daily
No edging
No peeking
Not thinking too much
Love you dadaji and i will never break my promise this again, i promise.
Thank you and have an amazing life.
Itโs ok bro, what matters is you made two good streaks, 4 days and now 8 days.
Keep improving bro, we are with you
Yeah
Thanks a lot
Donโt worry Bro, you did great. Keep improving day by day. Development of our mind and body that thatโs what matter the most.
8 March 2022
Last day i worked out after a month, for an hour because of which my whole body is paining , so i didnโt workout today.
So today is international womenโs day ( and of course itโs @The_integrous_one 's birthday ,happy birthday bhai ,once again ) , so my father brought a cake and samosas, as i got samosa , i said that itโs not healthy and my sister jyada pagal jaisa mat bolo , then i shouted at her and then she said again ,so i threw the plate on the floor and locked myself in the room for 2 hours and i started to study and idk why the fuck i started to cry, i wasnโt able to study and was feeling angry also (still feeling angry and feeling like something is stucked in my throat ), i opened the door rn and no one scolded me, maybe because i am behaving like this daily and also on dashmi (10th day of my grandpaโs death) while serving food one of my younger cousin said something rubbish so i slapped him in front of everyone and everyone was shocked and cause this was the very first time I slapped anyone like this ,the next day he was not eating food then i went to his house and grabbed his hand and made him to sit beside me and we both ate food together and that matter sorted out. Well i wonโt eat anything and going to sleep now.
Love you dadaji and miss you a lot
Good night
Thank you and have a happy life.
How are you man?
Are you all right?
How have you been dealing?
Thanks again bro
Donโt worry bro itโll be fine.
Fine
Didnโt get it (is it about urges or sadness? ).
Both ways bro
โฆyvyvubbybyvsfgeffhhc
i have relapsed .
Tatatatattataatttat
How are you @Sholt_Tenkerrot ? Everything fine? How was the Preboard ?