It’s been a while since I have been on here.
I do miss my friends, thank God for them. Urges have been coming and going. The motivation to do good still stands, yet it’s overwhelmed by a meaningless desire at times. I tend to forget what it is I’m striving for in those lonesome moments. All my brain seems to remember is desire. An evil one that is. However, slowly yet most definitely, I’ve made progress. Though I once again start today, at day 0. January 5th 2023. I have high hopes to the future. Just gotta hold on to my Lord Jesus Christ.
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It’s been almost 30 days since I’ve written this. And I still have not made it past day 1. The cycle is always the same. The first day or two the morivation kicks in. But then, struggling to sleep or get up, the craving just consumes a person. I find it that when I can’t sleep, I struggle to get up. I’m stuck in some confusing state of mind. I think I just need to take things a day at a time.
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Hey, not sure if you can (or should) respond in journals, but I wanted to say that I know what you’re going through. I’ve had many months (well, years, actually) when I couldn’t get past 2, 3 or 4 days. It’s a hell of a thing. But hey, look at my last post - even a joke of a man like myself managed it to day 6 (only to will have beaten it with a full week in about 30 minutes). I think it would really do you good to read up on the neurobiology of all this (try Your Brain On Porn book/website and Andrew Huberman’s channel) and think of a battle plan. If you understand the addiction, you can work on your strategy. Try and log your sleeping schedule, diet, productivity, energy levels, urge strength et al. This will allow you to identify recurring patterns and amend your behavior.
Oh, and definitely fix your sleep. Make this your top priority, since this is an absolute game changer that affords us a hell of a lot more resources to wage this war. Huberman has two outstanding lectures on sleep, and Dr. Walker’s book called Why We Sleep is another banger.
If you’re feeling depressed, I also highly recommend you to visit the doctor. It may turn out that you have severe vitamin/mineral deficiency (us cave dwellers have that likelihood), and a simple supplement can improve your health and wellbeing. Vitamin D is the worst offender, definitely make sure you’re getting enough.
I wish you all the best, and would happily share my very limited knowledge if that’s gonna help. I know you can do this, everyone can. We just have to understand what’s causing us to slip and change our lifestyle accordingly. I wish you well and hope that, in another month’s time, you’ll be happily reporting on your progress. Use the resources I shared, work on your sleep quality and keep reinforcing your weak points. Good luck!
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Hey @Dr_No ,
Thank you for your kind words, friend. There was a time I read Your Brain On Porn and The Easy Peasey Method, both are grwat recommendations. I just don’t know why my brain did not want to absorb the information. Like a year ago when I started Rewire Community I would get 7-10 day streaks. Perhaps it was the motivation from seeing my friends around here also go up in streaks. Maybe something else. All I know is when I kinda gave up trying or even trusting in God. All went downhill. Nonetheless, I’m trying again.
I would like to say to you that you are doing great. Thank you for taking the time to reply to me and taking the time to better yourself. A thing many people now fail to do. Hopefully, together we can beat this awful addiction.
If you’d like to share codes.
My sharing code is zuwdar
Wishing you the best 
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Hey man, I’m sure you got this! You know you’re capable of much more, you just have to work on the systems that’ll lead you to success. What are you gonna do once you gain more time and energy? How do you maintain good baseline dopamine to feel okay and reduce the urges? What are your triggers, and how do you avoid them? How do you deal with the urges? Will you be using Rewire’s Urge button? The cold shower? How do you remind yourself about these coping tools?
All these are the things that you need to consider, especially the urge-coping part. I happen to be lucky, since music and meditation in the app worked well for me from the beginning. I assume meditation and relaxing sounds/beats are quite powerful, since the urges are relatively short-lived and the soundsdape maintains a soothing effect while allowing us to think about the benefits of what we’re doing, but you really gotta see for yourself.
Once again, I’m sure you’ll find a lot of value in Andrew Huberman’s podcasts, mainly the episodes about dopamine, habit building, sleep and food. I believe he talked about addictions as well. Again, without him, I probably wouldn’t have made past day 3. Use scientific tools, as well as praying if you believe that helps, but definitely make sure you have Plan A and Plan B for when the urges come back. You can do this, but your systems are key.
Let me know if I can help you in any way, and definitely share your progress on this journal! My sharing code is mol58y. Best of luck!