Women who show skin

[prince_king]

Ok, I know I have made a similar topic earlier. But I guess I need a deeper understanding.

Few days ago, a proactively dressed girl came to take the food, in mess we have to take our own food. Because she was dressed like that, I made my distance and came a while later, I was furious but didn’t showed any emotion like that.

Today, Few minutes ago, another proactively dressed girl came around me because we have face scan to identify if we are hostelers. It took me 0.00001 sec to look in another direction and I walked in that direction.

I realised I was inches away from going too close to a table where girls were having their dinner. It was about to be awkward but I again changed my direction and when she went a bit far, I face scanned and did the usual routine of taking my food.

I think I already gave a signal to women sitting on table that I am acting weird because I was running away from group of girls proactively dressed.

I know I can’t show my anger and say ‘stop wearing slutty/bitch clothes’ because it’s gonna get me in trouble.

The solution I came with is thinking it as just a clump of cells. Or thinking we all have skin beneath our clothes.

I am open to some other remedies tho.

[The_Rising_One]

Its quite common these days bro. But we cannot get pissed off in such situation. But I do follow the one below

I am not a Muslim , But I follow a Muslim principle in which you lower your gaze deliberately when you see something triggering like that , Initially it was tough , because deep inside our subconscious mind wants to stare at it.

This idea was given by my Muslim friend in college who also have very high streak in no fap like 1 year ig. Muslim do call this procedure by a name which I dont remember it.

But with practice it becomes like an algorithm in a code , you automatically lower your gaze with repetition.

[prince_king]

@The_Rising_One

lower your gaze deliberately when you see something triggering like that

Should I look at her

??

[The_Rising_One]

Dont take that way literally . I mean its the upper body that’s triggering in such situations atleast for me

Tagging @Nadeem , @VAGABOND these people can explain this concept better.

[Purity11]

Are feets triggering for you?

[prince_king]

@Purity11

Are feets triggering for you?

No

[Nadeem]

@The_Rising_One

which you lower your gaze deliberately when you see something triggering like that

It’s obligatory for muslim men’s to lower there gaze infront of girl’s/ women , it’s considered sin if we look at girl’s/ women’s. It’s called adultery of eyes. If we keep doing it then we won’t get sweetness of iman.
@Binocular @VAGABOND can explain better I think .
I’m not good in explaining things on chat

[Nadeem]

@The_Rising_One

Its quite common these days bro. But we cannot get pissed off in such situation

Yeah, I live in a small town, and these things are spreading here too all thanks to social media

[prince_king]

@Nadeem

these things are spreading here too all thanks to social media

Don’t take me in wrong way. But the kind of freedom women have, they should have tried to take up positions of responsibility instead of using it as an excuse to roam half naked.

I know few amazing girls are out there. But anyone with a pinch of wisdom knows all these partying, roaming half naked and all is the work of a shallow mind.

Women of the past weren’t as shallow.

[The_integrous_one]

bruhhhhh

[Amitroghates]

@prince_king

roaming half naked

I am really baffled. I never have seen any girl moving half naked in real life.

I only seen in some bollywood movie promotions in tv where actresses usually show upper area of chest, cleavage, wear towel like clothes.

Whereas actors (men) wearing full clothes, suits and ties.

[VAGABOND]

You can’t control the world you are living in but you can control yourself
This particular thing you are talking about was mentioned like 1400 years ago in Islam
With no details i will tell you what is said about this object
So in Islam , There is no sin on you for the first glance, but you must avert your gaze immediately. If you avert your gaze immediately there is no sin on you, but if you continue looking, then you will be a sinner,
So Men must lower their gaze and refrain from looking at forbidden things in all circumstances, unless there is a valid reason, such as medical treatment, proposing marriage, engaging in financial transactions such as buying and selling, etc. In all these cases it is permissible to look as much as is required, and no more
We also are told to Avoid places where a person feels he will be exposed to the temptation of looking, if he can manage to avoid them, such as going to marketplaces or malls, and sitting idle in the street. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Beware of sitting in the street.” They said, “We have no alternative; that is where we sit and talk.” He said, “If you insist on sitting there, then give the street its rights.” They said, “What are the rights of the street?” He said, “Lowering the gaze and refraining from causing offence…”
And here is onther thing , You should realize that you have no choice in this matter, regardless of what the circumstances are and no matter how great the temptation or motive is to do evil, and no matter what emotions and overwhelming desires stir within your heart. You must lower your gaze and refrain from looking at forbidden things in all places and at all times. You cannot use excuses such as the environment being corrupt or justify your mistakes by saying that you are surrounded by temptation.
This a brief about what you are talking about
So you have no control on the people around you and you can’t blame them but you can control yourself by lowering your gaze and looking away so that devilish thoughts and desires don’t get into your heart and distract your thinking
Correct me if i am wrong brothers @Binocular @Nadeem
And also @Amitroghates it’s an Islamic concept and there are tens of verses in Holy Qur’an (Islamic religious book)
I know you might have said it according to your current knowledge about Islam but if you search about it you will find it’s an Islamic concept and was mentioned like 1440 years ago

[debellator]

it depends bro. People have different level of tolerance.

Personally I don’t notice it to be honest. I am not saying what they’re doing is correct, no, of course, but personally I find women who dress modestly more attractive.

Also half the time I’m talking to others/listening to music/thinking to myself so I don’t really notice

For lot of guys they have this tendency to stare at women any time they show skin. Of course, that is normal, because that is how man was wired, but again this varies from guy to guy. If you train the mind then you don’t notice it anymore, because it comes down to objectifying women.

Of course, ideally you can ask the women to dress modestly. But the better option is to rewire the mind. Have self control.

@prince_king

Few days ago, a proactively dressed girl came to take the food, in mess we have to take our own food. Because she was dressed like that, I made my distance and came a while later, I was furious but didn’t showed any emotion like that.

Today, Few minutes ago, another proactively dressed girl came around me because we have face scan to identify if we are hostelers. It took me 0.00001 sec to look in another direction and I walked in that direction.

I realised I was inches away from going too close to a table where girls were having their dinner. It was about to be awkward but I again changed my direction and when she went a bit far, I face scanned and did the usual routine of taking my food.

You are on high nofap streak also. I think that also adds to this, because the semen retention effect will be there.

Also you need to talk to more women. No offence but when you talk to enough women you don’t even notice things like this. All these types of thoughts come when you’re not sure how to deal with them. Again, no offence, not saying anything is wrong with that. Also I am not sure what you mean by provocative? Doesn’t the hostel have dress code? Or no dress code?

@prince_king

The solution I came with is thinking it as just a clump of cells. Or thinking we all have skin beneath our clothes.

Well if that works for you it is good. Stop objectifying women. You see them and are immediately thinking about their body parts. They’re people with souls just like us. No matter how they dress or act, even if that may not be the best.

In general the people in this forum have less interaction with women. That’s why all the ideas immediately go to ‘woman are inferior sinners we must avoid looking at them’. Like I said before, when you interact with them enough, you will not even notice it. Train your mind. And one day (hopefully) when you have a family, you can train your daughter in the right way to dress and your son in the right way to think.

[Amitroghates]

I deleted the post thinking that someone’s religious point of view might be hurt.

Thanks for informing

[prince_king]

@debellator

You see them and are immediately thinking about their body parts.

I mean when am alone I don’t do that. But with friends it happens a little because new gen jokes and all.

If I was actually doing it consistently, completing 90 days would have been a forgone conclusion.

@debellator

All these types of thoughts come when you’re not sure how to deal with them.

NGL, women with good brains, I am able to talk with them easily. But the avg women, I can’t talk much because they have broken humor+I spend less time talking about useless things so I get repelled by those women.

Also you need to realise there are less girls in engineering. And without any valid reason, I ain’t talking with them apart from usual hi, hellos because I have an introverted personality, so I do less small talk.

@debellator

Also I am not sure what you mean by provocative?

Crop tops and shorts.

@debellator

Doesn’t the hostel have dress code?

No restriction on wearing short clothes.

@debellator

You are on high nofap streak also. I think that also adds to this

True. According to 21/90 rule, completing 90 days makes it a lifestyle so maybe my brain has been conditioned to avoid triggers.

And proactively dressed women comes into that category.

I see one irony here, seeing pics of proactively dressed women is called peeking when on no PMO. But here I am getting lectured for avoiding them IRL.

Is it because the dynamics is different coz it’s IRL?

[prince_king]

@Amitroghates

someone’s religious point of view might be hurt.

No need of it bro. Sanatan Dharma is the most dynamic religion imo. And I don’t follow religions so telling this from neutral pov.

[Amitroghates]

Watching face, waist and chest of women triggers depending on the urge , but feet never triggers me.

[debellator]

@prince_king

I mean when am alone I don’t do that. But with friends it happens a little because new gen jokes and all.

ah okay. Personally, I just l hang out with people who are little more careful about what they say, as in, not disrespectful. If they crack jokes like that and you don’t like it you should tell them. If you prefer not to hear them, that is. They may make fun of you for saying that but they’ll secretly all respect you for it.

@prince_king

NGL, women with good brains, I am able to talk with them easily. But the avg women, I can’t talk much because they have broken humor+I spend less time talking about useless things so I get repelled by those women.

Again, this is because you need to meet more people, no offence. I also used to think the same way. Because this is how most introverts think, we like to think other people aren’t intellectual enough, in a sense, to be up to our grade, which is why we find them boring. Definitely, there are people like that. But they’re extroverts and are very good at lots of things we are not good at.

Even now I sometimes find them a little long winded, but the more you talk to people, especially women, the more you’ll be comfortable making a conversation and being able to talk with them. In person. Over text is easy anyone can do it. Very few guys know how to talk to a girl in person because of this introverted mentality.

Not saying that you should waste your time. But I know that as introverts we think to think arrogant of ourselves and don’t want to waste time on meaningless talk. But that’s not how it works. All successful people are good communicators with people of different personalities. So try making yourself uncomfortable. Get out of your comfort zone.

@prince_king

Also you need to realise there are less girls in engineering. And without any valid reason, I ain’t talking with them apart from usual hi, hellos because I have an introverted personality, so I do less small talk.

yeah maybe. Idk how it is in your college. Maybe less. Here there are lots of girls lol

Again, I am telling you as a brother, you are using your nature as excuse for you fear to talk to people. It’s tough, I definitely get it cause I was thinking the same way before I forced myself to go out and talk. Doesn’t have to be with women only though, go introduce yourself to people all around. You’ll make a lot more friends that way, and you never know when they can help you.

@prince_king

Crop tops and shorts.

Okay. Everyone here wears that. I don’t think anything of it. Maybe it is a difference in conditioning. IDK.

@prince_king

No restriction on wearing short clothes.

Ah okay.

@prince_king

True. According to 21/90 rule, completing 90 days makes it a lifestyle so maybe my brain has been conditioned to avoid triggers.

Stop thinking of women as triggers.

@prince_king

I see one irony here, seeing pics of proactively dressed women is called peeking when on no PMO. But here I am getting lectured for avoiding them IRL.

You go looking for one, while the other is present around you without seeking it. In both cases, it’s your response that matters. When you can overcome that, then you will not face issue with the other.

@prince_king

Is it because the dynamics is different coz it’s IRL?

most definitely. The whole point about ■■■■ is that it’s pixels on a screen. Not real life. Of course, there are a lot of other points too, but that’s literally a main reason.

[prince_king]

@debellator

But they’re extroverts and are very good at lots of things we are not good at.

Yeah I experienced it a little.

@debellator

Here there are lots of girls lol

That’s why it’s easy for you to say this . Don’t worry bro, in few months I have to give interviews, visit places for work related reasons so definitely I have to interact with people irrespective of their gender and clothes, but I will be bold enough to tell women to not wear proactive clothes (jk).

@debellator

Stop thinking of women as triggers.

True. But if they wear short clothes, one day or the other I might think of them as triggers since I am a man. Only thing in my hand is to reduce the occurrence.

[prince_king]

There’s a standard to be a man made by fellow brothers but no such standard exists between women

That’s why women do stupid shit and are making society degenerate