Taken from the reddit
Hi. I’m also a guy who quit porn using Easypeasy. I have relapsed after reading around 36 times. But I still got up and I finally won. Through my losses I’ve found out most reasons why people relapse after reading the book. I will explain the problem and how to fix it. You can save this post and come back to it if you want.
The problems are:
- Moping and not rejoicing Honestly, the MAIN thing I saw when I saw people relapsing was that they weren’t happy. They were sad, and they were forcing themselves to smile. They kept failing BECAUSE they thought they were being deprived, as when you relapse, you get that moment of happiness. Even worse, when you’ve had a bad day, a relapse makes the effect of porn even more. Your subconscious immediately doubts the book and says “Why do you believe Hackauthor? This is fun. Stay here, and ignore the book” Sadly, this doesn’t last. An hour later, depression rolls around, and now the user is back to being miserable. They read the book, then depressed, make another empty “final visit” promise. And then they fail. And this becomes a cycle.
How to quit this? Honestly, if the mindset is the problem, then mindset is the solution. STOP thinking that you’ll fail anyway, STOP thinking that this time isn’t different, STOP thinking that you’re being deprived of pleasure. When you tell yourself that you’re gaining things, this time WILL be different, and believe in yourself, you’ll definitely feel better. A quote that I thought of the time I quit: “No point in quitting this addiction, no point in working hard, no point of achieving something, if you cannot believe in yourself.”
- Timing Apart from mindset, I’ve noticed so many people relapse with the excuse “Well, you can quit next time.” This issue has already been spoken about in the book, but I want to give the core message out again. This excuse, that you’ll quit next time, is something WHICH WILL KEEP YOU IN THE TRAP UNTIL THE DAY YOU DIE. Stop kidding yourself. You have to quit someday, and this addiction will keep getting more intense every time you relapse. Each time you relapse, you make the thought cemented in your head, that relapsing is good. That watching porn is better than quitting. That being a PMOer is better than being a Non-PMOer. With that happening, no way will you win. So make that decision, the decision that you WON’T watch porn again. When you make it clear that you’re done, withdrawal pangs are usually reduced a lot. There’s one condition, however. Which is, of course, the mindset. It’s been talked about in the first point. Be happy, don’t live life thinking you are being deprived.
- Brainwashing This subreddit is filled with people who say they’re relapsing because they say they “Cannot get the brainwashing out of their head”. Well, that’s because you cannot, not immediately at least. No matter how much you read Hackauthor’s advice, the brainwashing isn’t gonna go away immediately. That’s why it’s recommended to focus on your frame of mind. With a correct one, the brainwashing is beaten. Soon, after a few days, the brainwashing slowly disappears. To this point, I just think you need to have a good understanding that brainwashing isn’t something that goes away in a minute. It’ll go only after a few days.
- Work Another thing I saw was that people think that beating porn takes effort and work. Hence when they have a bad day, they think quitting porn is adding onto the work they do. Thing is, it isn’t. If you have the wrong mindset, it will. I sound like a broken record at this point, talking about mindset in every point, but that should show you that it’s the most important thing in quitting this addiction. Don’t think that quitting porn is hard. Of course there will be withdrawal pangs. If there weren’t, there wouldn’t be any addicts. But if the brainwashing is gone, and you keep telling yourself that there are no advantages to internet porn, then soon you see it yourself. It’s that simple.
- Long term effects of quitting Finally, the authenticity and plausibility of being happy when quitting. A final excuse people give when trying to quit is that “Do you really think you’ll be happy when you quit?” This mindset really ends up making your entire attempt screwed.
The solution to this, is actually the most tricky one I faced. The last attempts I was quitting, I thought of this. In fact, I thought that if I forget the book, and get back into my practice of being a PMOer, I’ll be happy. But this mindset broke the last time I relapsed. The depression, the sadness, and the guilt that I felt were too great. Whether I like it or not, the brainwashing is gone. I now truly see porn in a more detailed light than before. I’ve relapsed and I’ve failed so many times, why not NOT PMO once and see how that is? 11 days later, the last chain of porn broke. I had my moment of revelation, and I realized that I don’t need porn anymore. I never had, I currently don’t, and I never will. From there, I’ve had freedom. What happened to me, is what I recommend you think about. Do you think you’ll be happy while watching porn? I don’t think I ever will. But you should make that decision.
These are the main reasons people relapse while quitting porn. I’m open to suggestions as to change the advice. Lemme know what you guys think!
Good luck to all of you to quit porn