What I've learned recently

I held a nearly 9 day streak with absolutely no problem, no urges, no thoughts of anything negative- I felt on top of the world and completely in control of myself.
Despite this, in the last 2 days I’ve managed to get in a car crash, lose my job, and relapse twice.
After crashing a truck and losing my job I didn’t even feel upset at all for the rest of the day, but today I woke up and relapsed twice and over the last few hours I’ve felt like complete shit. After all this time of trying to quit PMO, it’s taken me this long to really see the effects of what it does to me.
If any of you have any good advice to just keep me from giving into urges and to help me through this journey of bettering my life and stopping PMO, ideally forever, it would be greatly appreciated.


One thing that keeps me fighting it:

PMO never helped me on my life. Not even once.

It gives a bit of pleasure and a lot of suffering later.
It’s not worth it.

PMO is NOT an option for me anymore.

PMO has even once been worth to you?
I don’t think so. Life just got worse with it, never better.