[WalkWithoutFear] Pledge to Kill korn forever! 🌄

Day 31
I woke up a little late because i was busy yesterday with understanding CD money accounts and savings in general. 2 days ago I transferred some money to a high yield savings. Best decision in my opinion while in my journey. So far I feel less the crave for lusting after woman. I feel more the wanting to talk to girls like a human should, or if i interact with a female I would talk to them in person rather than online, but i think in general I feel like I don’t need a GF at the moment, i feel less and less the need to want them the more I go into this journey.
I literally got a dating ad yesterday lol :joy: I was curious so I clicked, but I didn’t take it seriously as I would if I wasn’t in this journey. So I feel blessed because i feel less tempted.
Things to do today:

  1. Work on car project
  2. Read book
  3. Meditation
1 Like

Day 40
Dont look back!!!
Yeah that’s right. I will keep moving forward. No matter what. The pain I feel today to M or watch K is only temporary but the pain of wasting ones life is a lifetime.
Today I felt some urges to M but I remembered why I am doing this. At times i was thinking to myself that maybe I can’t produce sperm anymore if I keep not touching myself. But it’s only an excuse my mind is using. I still do get erections but it’s lesser than it was because I am not thinking of woman really sexually as I once was. A mans erections mostly happens at night though when he sleeps. As long as he has a good diet and blood flow to his body then his bodily functions should be fine.
My morning diet: drinking a blend of beetroot, banana, papaya. Helps the bloodflow circulation. Yes it causes you to have urges but I learned that it’s okay because bloodflow is life. Just accept it.
June 30th is my mother birthday.
What I will do today:

  1. Finish my homework for java class
  2. Workout for a bit not intense.
  3. Do some meditative breathing exercises.
    All for now and celebrating with my mother.
    Rule for parties don’t drink too much
3 Likes

Take not your past. Your past doesn’t exist because there is only now. The past is only lived experience but it’s not what you are. It’s only a tool to become better. Take with you what is now, now and only now is you. Nothing else. Not even tomorrow is you. Tomorrow is uncertain. NOW.

4 Likes

Damn. I just relapsed. I watched Korn but not hardcore and even M. I was having a tough stable mind couple days because i was thinking too much over the future, I was thinking negative about my course I’m taking, doubt took over me and even a bit of blind ambition along with some narcissist attitude took over me, thinking I didn’t need to work that hard or do much effort for my goals because it will take a long time. I was too focused also on the money I had and it’s good to manage your money but when you are too focused on it, it makes you feel like now doesn’t matter as much and the future matters more. Which will distract you and eventually cause overthinking to yourself on things you cannot control, when the now is what will determine our destiny. But there needs to be a balance of course but Now needs more focus on. I said to myself, What’s the point. When I relapsed I still didn’t see the point of all those videos. It was just a bunch of distractions and hypnosis. At one point I signed up for an AI Girlfriend which was on impulsive. Also it didn’t help that I slept late after my mom’s birthday party and didn’t do the breathing exercises whenever the feeling to relapse takes place. All that came together to me relapsing. The good thing is that I am not as attached to Korn as I once was and my mindset has changed dramatically since then so that relapse only serves to me as a learning experience.
I actually feel some motivation to improve even though I relapsed. I feel like interacting with real woman rather than a dumb screen. So my mindset hasn’t changed. Korn is just a way to avoid the real world. Korn gets you nowhere. FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS on now and forget your worries because it’s a waste of time. I noticed when I focused more on the now, I didn’t relapse at all. That was my mistake.

“Don’t worry about tomorrow and yesterday the past, only now” I will live by these words because it’s true and prevents one from relapse. Prevents doubts.

New habits that I must do:

  1. Have a good sleep schedule even with alarm.
  2. Exercise 3 times per week, doesn’t have to be intense always.
  3. Do breathing exercises whenever in stress or feeling to relapse.
  4. Focus on the now, not tomorrow or past and focus on those worries. Don’t overthink. Just do what you need to do now and that is all what you are responsible for in this existence.
1 Like

2024 Personal counter: copy and paste
(July month)
Weekly meditation practices streak( atleast once per week or mid-day everyday)
Week 1 - 1
Week 2 -
Week 3 -
Week 4 -
Week 5 -

No PMO hard mode: day 0
KORN free video content: 0 days
Free from temptations of lust in media(images, videos on YouTube,etc.) that leads to relapse without korn:
day 0
Goal: good sleep schedule and manage media use
Screen time on phone daily goal: 0<2hrs, average of 125 minutes max using “stay free” stat app.
4.Must stay within range***
Per week or month counter phone use:
Week: I used my phone here and there but not all day. I was busy with some search on different skills to gain like digital art or coding and also part was doing assignments and reading.
Month of March total -
Number of relapses in year total: estim. 11 times Approx.
Progress***
((Try to keep korn free always no matter what and masturbating ))

2 Likes

Relapsing to Korn feels like shit the next day you wake up. Lethargic energy and you feel like a pile of trash that needs to be cleaned out. You feel overstimulated and you can’t put your mind to ease when you wish to sleep. This must stop.! Dumb energy given by this trash of an activity. Relapsed yesterday again, my mind was just overstimulated. Even after Korn and M I couldn’t sleep. I kept watching YouTube videos until 4 a.m. last night. My mind was just stimulated. Eventually I had to put calm music to sleep. I still feel like trash once I woke up this morning.

1 Like

Day 2
I feel better with a little more energy than previous days when I relapsed. But I will try to sleep on time that way I get the most energy for my day. I did a nice workout session today like did 120 pushups, 100 curl ups and 50 sit-ups or so. I also did cardio yesterday, did more muscle intense workout today. I felt good the workout I did, I did the most muscle workout today. It was a good day. I also ate lots of food.
I organized how many days I should workout as well. 4 days a week would be nice.

1 Like

Day 4
We went to this italian restaurant yesterday. We had a good time. We came home a bit late. I was dancing with the family.
Today I want to catch up with some homework assignments and a little cardio if possible. I do feel my sexual energy growing today.
Reduce phone use as much as possible is the goal

2 Likes

Day 6
Yesterday I was fixing the door of the bathroom and did some car project. I felt like a go getter. I did have random boners throughout the day lol.
Also the more you stay away from the media or phone use the more your brain can get back to normal in terms of overstimulation. Our phones is one of the greatest stimulants and it’s addictive especially if your into news and different topics on YouTube.
The goal is to not use the phone as much and catch up with our current goals. The More you focus on current goals the more you will be less likely to relapse.
Today I plan to do some homework assignments, fix some yard work stuff and go to church this morning :sunrise_over_mountains:. I feel less urges today. I just feel like doing stuff. But I must stop using phone alot to transfer this energy into my goals.
Things to do:

  1. Church
  2. Do homework
  3. Fix some yard work stuff.
  4. Meditative breathing exercises
1 Like

I relapsed yesterday because I was looking at woman I found attractive for about 2 hours on my laptop. I had a list of artists or singers that I found attractive and so I saw it and decided well why won’t I take a look at it. I did just that but I guess the attractiveness I found with them was too much to bear for me. Especially if you suddenly feel lustful after looking at all of your favorite woman you find attractive. It felt like a dating app except it was ranking woman artist or singers. This caused me to relapse and eventually watch Korn again.
I decided I won’t pay attention to woman I find attractive because this should come to me naturally and trying to be perfectionist with my attractive feelings for a girl is a waste of time when I could be doing something else with my time.
**Cutting phone use will reset overstimulated mind and cause you to be less overstimulated as a result bringing your mind to get back to normal.

Day 0
After my relapse. I wanted to wake up quicker even though I woke a little late. I texted a friend online and checked some notifications but then I immediately went to get my breakfast smoothie and then did a nice cardio workout with some intense exercises for arrms for 1 hour. I felt pumped to get it done, I just wanted to get back to my confident self and show the addiction whose the boss. Did 100 pushups, 50 curl ups and 2 mile run on treadmill. I also took a nice warm shower first after I did workout and then I turned it to cold after a while. I had a boner while the water was cold which I found strange, I just felt relaxed in that cold water especially in this heat we have in California so I guess there are other ways to get boners other than a female body.
Motto of the day - “focus focus focus”
Things to do today:

  1. Do exercise :heavy_check_mark:
  2. Do assignments
  3. Do meditative breathing exercises
2 Likes