Hey vortexkicker, I wanted to let you know you aren’t alone. We all have our bad days. I myself relapsed once again today. I just want to be free from this, but relapsing is a part of NoFap. You just got to learn why you relapsed. I know it’s easier said than done. I’m still trying to figure out why I relapsed today. But eventually we will get better at this, and that’s all that matters. Don’t beat yourself up, you’re better than most people. The fact that you’re even doing NoFap shows that. Just focus on the positive in life. I’m not saying you need to be thankful for your negative experiences in life. But I’m saying to not think about them. Just move on. We become what we think about, so why don’t we think something positive? This is something I’ve been struggling with a lot, so I don’t want to sound like I’m condemning your or anything like that. We’re both in the same boat. I’ll be rooting for you on this journey!
I relapsed again because fir the past 36 hours I have been looking at porn.
Porn caused my relapsed
Now, why do I go to porn? It is a way to avoid boredom and loneliness
I have been bored for years. l am bored because of where I live and having a father completely against me doing anything on my own is annoying.
At age 32 I am treated like a teenager. He can never ler me go and there is no way out. Its like being in jail.
Had my shortest streak in a long time.
1 day 18 hours.
I didn’t sleep well last night. I got maybe 4 hours of sleep. Yet I have more energy than I am used to.
I really need to stop this masterbation and porn garbage and get back to God and become the man I was meant to be.
Be careful brother, don’t loose your progress in which you worked hard on achieving
Try to sleep early, those who don’t have enough sleep will get such negative thoughts and you want be able to control yourself more. My classmate even said the same thing, when I asked him why he is always negative all the time he told me that he sleeps only for 4 hours.
In this journey, you must take care of yourself and always stay happy and positive 
Good luck
Thank you.
I will continue updates.
Going to use my job for the next 4 days to achieve a better streak.
My streak is 2 days 17 hours.
My job has been filled with a huge workload.
I fear I may not finish.
My boss thinks I will.
I think that forgetting about the addiction and forgetting about doing NoFap and keeping the mind focused on other things can make the days and hours pass easier.
I’m at 3 days 19 hours and still going.
No urges in all this time, which is strange.
This morning I feel low on patience.
It is time that I have to wait for in order to heal from this PMO addiction.
Today is October 23rd.
I had a weird day emotionally.
My body was too tired to relapse.
Yet my mind kept desiring relapse material.
I viewed a few “beautiful” pictures if you know what I mean.
After I reached 2pm my parents and I took care of something then i fell asleep on the drive home. I wasn’t the one driving.
After I woke up, I felt less interested in relapse material.
Now I am tired and trying to figure out whay I’m having for dinner.
October 25th
I just had another relapse.
But this time, for the first time, I feel happy.
Probably because I did a full PMO 2 times out of 7 days instead of 3. I see myself as improving and I want to keep improving.
I am feeling really depressed today.
Well, I am not surprised of my relapse.
Hopefully today goes smoothly and I get home and relax and have a successful weekend.
Fingers crossed 
.
October 30th
I relapsed yesterday October 29th.
I had 4 urges yesterday and the 4th got me.
I had 1 or 2 urges this morning. I did not relapse.
I need to get through today.
I need to reach 5 a.m. sitting in my car.
Then I need to get past every morning this week to continue my streak and success.
I am bored. I am slightly overweight.
I don’t know how to attract women. I only want to meet someone in person who is single and attractive but 100 percent say they are taken.
I need an opportunity.