TRD5's journey [24M]

Dear Friends!

(ATTENTION!!!)
(English is not my native language.)
(I warned you!)

[[How do I start?..]]
[I’m a simple guy.]
I want to enjoy the simple things in life. Want to feel, that I am alive. And want to gain control over my own body. It will be hard, because I never had that control in my life, and I don’t know how it feels, how to use it,

how to live with it.

[My porn addiction started 12 years ago…]
I lived half my life addicted to porn, growing up that way. It made a sirious damage to my personality, to my brain, to my soul and to my body. I watched a LOT of porn in a WIDE range of categories. Seen so many bodies,

so many faces…

[Only a few people know about this.]
I have a few close friends. But even they don’t know about all this. I feel ashamed. Even my ex girlfriend knows very little… And our relationship lasted 5 years… We broke up because I couldn’t forget a girl I fell in love with nearly 8 years ago. I couldn’t make myself to move in with her (my ex), because of this strange memory. I tried to forget…

But I couldn’t.

[I was always busy]
I am learning at a very hard university. I have countless sleepless nights behind my back. And I’m feeling it’s negative effects in my body. I barely had any time to care about myself in the past 5 years.
In my country, education is very tradiotonal. And I am an open minded person. So I learning all the new technologies too, even if they don’t teach it properly.
But now I taking a break. Started to work. Maybe now I will have some time to do the things I like doing. But with free time comes responsibility. I’d like to use this time

wisely.

[I’m starting a new journey]
My goal is not a week, not a month, not a year. I want to be a different person. I feel my sins in my bones…
But do I hate them? Can I hate them? Without going trough bad things, that make me really hate them? I don’t know… I’m just tired, and broken. And I fear the consequences… I’m starting to really feel them now.

Wish me good luck, or rather something, that you think I need…

Today I deleted 62 GB of porn content from my computer.

Help me gather all my willpower, and courage!
I hope, I make some new friends on the way!

Feel free to comment!

2 Likes

We are all with you. The first step you already started. Instead of thinking what have you lost think what I will what get.

1 Like

Damn 62gb of porn …u did the toughest step , just focus on your nofap journey. Do exercise everyday

Thank you!
Maybe the hardest part is letting the past go for me. But I think you are right.

:joy:Very nice…:ok_hand::ok_hand::ok_hand::ok_hand: Man you are great…

Thanks!

I
WILL
NOT
MISS
ANY
OF
IT