My family hopes are on my shoulder. Its 9:38 pm night, eaten my food.
7 hrs 4 min…
12:00 am ( night )
Went to bed early today. There was no tennis match today. My sleeping routine has been meshed up. So, no sleep came, snoaring sounds of my mom and i was lost in so many thoughts, no present moment and as a vehicle passed by near road, i got my panic cough. Yeah i have noticed that my brain gets confused and it brings anxiety when i am lost in thoughts and something happens in surrounding.
Got acidity due to fast food that i eat late night. Drank eno water. Everything has fucked up by recent relapses. The wall clock is making sound of Tik Tok.
17 hrs 48 min…
Slept around 2 a.m in night, woke up around 9:30 a.m. No motivation to rise up from the bed, lost in thoughts. After half an hour got up from bed somehow and wear my clothes. My shit routine also got fucked up. No pressure for shit when i went for shitting. Returned back down and washed my dirty underwear in which i had fapped yesterday.
Buddy! Stop reacting to all the impulses…you highly need to practise meditation
Use earplugs check amazon …it will help you to kill out the sounds and help you concentrate, have a good sleep
As for acidity, don’t drink artificial stuff like eno, rather have some warm milk …it is alkaline…balances ph of stomach.
As for feeling responsible for your family and all…Its good but this approach to giving up PMO just creates an image that “You are sacrificing something”… Just know you aren’t sacrificing anything… PMO doesn’t give you any anything…rather it takes everything from you.
You are free man. You’ve already escaped. Now just bear the withdrawal symptoms of Dopamine wantsw. Make your choice. QUIT TODAY! Its easy using the EasyPeasy method!
12:05 p.m ( day )
Sat for a 5 minute meditation session. Couldnt stay still, always changing positions and reacting to outside environment. Within 1 minute i wanted to quit the session and run away but then i had comitted to this because i want my life to be better & stable. Whatever the anxiety of body i tried to be there sitting for 5 minutes and then the bell rang and i finished the session.
Woke up with no motivation to woke up
Today, some relatives visited our home, as usual i hid myself in a room. It is strange i am here and still i dont exist
I want to be socialy active & confident. I hate living life like this. Tomorrow i will begin my workouts again.
Panda bro. Look, i am here to break my limits and as far as challenge thing goes. I am a warrior by blood, when someone challenges me i cant refuse.
So, Yes i accept your challenge. By the way, i am only accepting this challenge for the common goal of doing reboot.
I also love competition, yeah… so here we goes… give me your sharing code and lets hit on the road …
For Defeating pmo & winning over vices we both will fight toe to toe,
Every punch straight to the face… here we go.
Today i wept
From almost a month, family members were advising me to do this & that so that my health improves. It is mental torture when people around you point towards your weakness again & again daily. Then poke you sometimes.
The salt adds to the wounds when we constantly fail in nofap also.
Weeping is a natural way of releasing stress. I felt light after weeping.
Today i did my legs workout. Some moments of day i felt very sick, dopamine hungry. Eating some sweets to support some of dopamine lack.
An advertisement waked up my dirty desires which lasted for just a second. Take care.
Waking up early now because i am not staying awake for long at night. Waking up with a little better mood & energy.
Today, i did my chest workout by playing music, i dance while in between reps because the music tingles my brain to dance.
Spending a lot of time on this forum. When i am not on my smartphone, i just start eating. Once a day, i listens to Geeta. I need to just keep going with my healthy lifestyle and all will be good within a month, i guess.