I really don’t know what to write here now. No peeking till now btw. Exams continues , So going Good with Studies but my physical health is not good. Constant eating junk food , Not going to Gym , Sleeping 5 - 7 hrs average.
Today I had an exam. With Blessings from God , went better than expected. I had only 1.5 hrs today. I slept on 7 AM and woke up on 8.30 AM. Situations like these happens when I was heavily addicted to pornography a lot earlier. But happy to know the reverse happening.
A bad sleep didn’t ruin my concentration on exam. So wrote well . After that slept from 3 PM to 8.30 PM. Had dinner. I do experience some hairfall because of this screwed up lifestyle. Once my exams are over , l’ll bring everything on track.
I am continue updating in this post till tomorrow.
Woohoo ! All the exams over atleast temporarily. Next exam can be expected at the end of the Month.
Our IV spot changed from Goa to Coorg ( Tourist place in Karnataka ) . People say the weather of Goa now is trash. Also our seniors who visited Goa this month a year ago experienced Diarrhea and food related illness. So Coorg then . I’ve already visited that place some months ago. So I know the tourist spots there in general . But I believe trip with classmates would be different in general.
My beard has been growing like an Amazon rainforest for past few days. My parents told me to clean shave since I have to take a passport photo. Now I look like a gigantic man with a baby face
After the exam got over , I got notified by my professor that my activity points are low. So need to do courses to boost my CV.
Also planning to join BYJU classes for GATE 2025. Our college from Mathematics Department provides tuition for GATE too. So thinking in that direction.
I got cold , headache and body pain for the screwed up lifestyle for the past few days. My sleep was not good yesterday. I slept early like 9 PM but didn’t get sleep properly associated with illness.
Woke up at 5 AM. Went to Gym. My performance was not good. I experience explosive headache when I did weightlifting like Chest press etc. Also its been a few days I went to the Gym. I’ve lost that flow . Anyway replaced weightlifting with light cardio like cross fit , bicycle , inclined cycle and rowers.
So yeah , That’s my update for today. Planning to leave college after lunch to take Passport photo
Bring the Medical certificate to college
4 : 45 PM
Ok so continuation . Reached the passport office did all the formal stuffs there. After that reached home. By Mom showed her childhood certificate boasting how much studious student she was and why she gave birth to a crap like me ( In a joking way )
Then I had with her a 2 hour long chat regarding life in general. But turns out , me and my mom have a lot of in common regarding our mindset. The only thing we are different is that she is super Studious and I am ? Eh ? Not that much !! ( Got that skill from Dad I guess )
Then a perfect chill day . Chatted with RC bros and talked some strange stuffs. And I slept at 1 AM just scrolling YT. I need to control that.
Since I slept late , I didn’t have stamina to wake up early. So planning to Workout after college.
I forgot to bring that fake medical certificate to college. It must be done asap otherwise I’ll lose attendance. Then basic stuffs , college lectures , project work , Sleeping during free period etc.
So yeah , on my way to home now travelling in a van rn. My next plan is to get my workout clothes ready and head to gym once I reach home.
9 : 30 PM
Just a small update I would like to make. After the exam my mind has gone blank. Like nothing to look upon. Just introspected for a few moments. I have two works I can do right now.
Apply BYJU Gate Course - Obviously Byju is a good choice . But the thing is it cost like 44000 INR till next gate 2025. Its a decent fee but its still its a high fee for a middle class family like me . I need to enquire more about this. There is a women in our class who have joined this thing . I need to ask her more regarding this like how is it , is registration closed etc. But the thing , I am not much in company with her. Ideally it would be best if I contact her thru whatsapp and get more info. Otherwise I will meet her in person on Monday. But I will choose the former one. Suits well with my introverted vibe
S8 Topics - This is simple , I have to start studying on a daily basis. My mind gives me some random excuse to prevent that. Need to stop it.
I dont have her number. I ask her boyfriend for her no and told him its for discussing GATE. He said she dont like sharing no’s and suggested me to talk in person. Is that a real reason or he is just being possessive ? Idk . I want no problems . Hence I’ll talk in person on Monday.
Bring the Medical certificate to college
Complete App Building Course of MATLAB
Ask that women regarding GATE stuffs
Apply Spray before college
Apply Deodorant before college
Register for BYJU Classes
Before I continue with my regular update , I must accept I am going on a downward spiral these days. Tho I was happy after finishing all exams 1.5 months straight , I lack purpose. And what does a man with lack of purpose do ? He distracts himself with pleasure.
There are times I had urges to peek but I remember debellator words " Start over or stop peeking ". I hate to start over. I’ve said , If I peek I more time , I’ll reset.
Saw 2 movies with family. Completed a course on MATLAB which is related to Machine Learning .
Earlier I’ve set only like 3 goals to myself. Now I am increasing that.
No bro. During my NEET counselling, there was 6 months delay in results. Bad administration by NTA. Hence even though I wrote the exam well I wasn’t sure about college. Cause results haven’t come out yet.
I got just enough marks to get govt seat but at that time I wasn’t sure about it. Till results came, by God’s grace.
Since half a year was free my parents said join engineering just in case. I got into VIT Vellore via their entrance exam for computer science. Did 2 sems hated it so happy to be able to study medicine
Apply Deodorant before college
Complete Introduction Topic of IOT
Complete Classification of IOT
Buy a new spray
Buy a new set of Earphones
Not a good day , But better than yesterday. Sometimes I just go to a Kabir Singh ( Hindi Movie ) mode when I am angry and do some stupid things.
I was going very well till evening. All the ticks in my goals yesterday was completed before night. Then I just slept too early. Then woke up like 11 PM , then scrolled random things in phone till 12.30 AM. Then slept again. Didn’t go to the gym today morning. I admit my pure Laziness.
This is where my Kabir Singh mode turned on. My mom was like shouting at me to go to the gym. I jumped up from the bed. Generally I do pick up my dad to go to the gym.
This time I didn’t , I didn’t even ask if he is coming with me or not. I took my bike drove at high speed. Reached gym. Stared at the gym outside 10 minutes straight and came back to home. My mom asked why I reached home so early . I didn’t reply
I admit , the actions Ive done cannot be justified by any means. I just get dumbfuck sometimes. This happens when I am really angry. I reflected upon this for a moment. The thing is I was really pissed off by myself , It was just that my mom shouting was just a trigger to burst out all my anger. But I cant get angry at my mom. She have some BP issues. So Ive released my anger in this way.
I said sorry to her later. Downloaded Digital Detox app again and did all the stuffs so that loopholes of the app can be removed .