Quick Daily check-in
I thought for sure, 100% that I would relapse today. I assumed it for a fact.
I experienced the most intense withdrawal symptoms I’ve ever felt since I started this nofap journey. Never in the 2 years of my nofap have I ever experienced urges and withdrawal this bad. I felt like this was getting close to psychological dependence levels of withdrawal.
The urges came in waves. I fought one, then after a few minute another came. Then another. Like they were trying to break me down and destroy me.
I will come clear about this : I saw a video with people kissing on it and thought about it for longer than I should have. I need to be more careful and intentional about things like that. No room for error.
The urges were so powerful, I thought I would lose for sure. Flashback after flashback. Urge after urge.
I pretty much sat down and almost decided to give in, but remembered @Rebooter81 's advise about checking forum when feeling urges. A huge part of me didn’t want to give in. I didn’t want to fail my friends, my companions here and most of all, myself and God. But I didn’t think it was possible to beat these urges.
It was only by crying to Christ for help and forcing myself out of the house that I could beat them.
I forced myself to change into playing attire and go out and practise basketball. Using up my energy in sports always helps me fight urges. Played for 2.5 hours and came back. Now writing this.
Without God, I would not have won this. For sure.
I’m so happy for the challenges I have and this forum and the people here for helping me.
Everyone has to fight their own battle, but we fight the war together.
First battle in this war. I won. I WON THE DAY.
Was reminded of Aragorn’s quote from this scene in LoTR.
(LoTR is a goated series by the way. Would recommend you read it or watch it. It’s the father of all fantasy fiction)
There may come a day that I’ll lose the fight. But it’s not going to be today!