[Day 1] - January 22,2024
The Random Guy’s Log, 20:14, Sunday
I might not be able to do this daily, but I will use this format whenever I update on this forum. I’ve been trying to quit this bad habit for 3 years, have tried something as small as blockers to as far as telling a friend about it. I’ve always convinced myself that this was normal, almost everyone does this, it’s not a big deal, all the typical excuses you tell yourself just to do it only to feel miserable later on. At first it wasn’t as frequent, hence I thought I had it under control, but fast forward to now I’m basically doing it once a day everyday, sometimes I’m able to not do it for a day or two (because I actually don’t feel like it), only to relapse soon after. And sometimes, even tho I don’t feel like doing it, I still do it anyway, and I just want it to stop. I really wanna help myself. So I’m hoping this’ll finally be it. God, I want a family someday, and I’ve always dreamed of having a daughter, I don’t deserve any of that til’ I’m able to stop this. Everyday I can feel myself getting weaker and more vulnerable. I can’t afford to go to therapy just yet but I can at least start with this. And for anyone out there like me who really wants to get rid of this disgusting habit, feel free to check up on this diary, hoping you could gain something from what I’ll be writing in.
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