I have a question, specifically for those having 50+ days streak. Like, does coming here regularly after reaching a certain amount of days makes you feel more anxious??
Like you have become strong enough to overcome urges but frequent visiting makes you feel like you may relapse someday and that big number will suddenly become 0 ?
Do you feel like it’s a thing we can’t truly overcome ever? Do you think that if we don’t engage in any such stuff then we will face difficulty in sex life once we are married??
I personally see in this way. I got a disease called PMO , So I went into a hospital called rewire companion. Once I felt , I am free from this disease I left the hospital. Or you can serve as a doctor in this hospital ( I mean act as a guide to others who have a hard time dealing it ) or you can use the hospital for non medical uses like administration etc ( Here I meant using this forum to improve discipline etc )
Although I’m currently on day 9, I jabe had about 10 streaks of 50+ days.
My view is the following:
PMO addiction is not the true problem. The true problem is something in my head. Something in my way of perceiving the world. I have been trying fofr the last 6 years and the best I could do was 100 days with cheating.
After a lot of reflecting after my last relapse I realised many things about myself and decided cease the enforcement of them. As a result, now urgesbdon’t bother me and I feel like I don’t need this forum anymore. However, I visit it several times a day, because I like the challenges and to update my diary from time to time.
PMO is a coping mechanism. Abstaining from PMO uncovers what trauma I have been hiding. Not working on the trauma powers the urges. Working on the traums powers them down.
As I have reached great heights I can say this with confidence,
“The first 130 days, I was more moody than a girl on her periods, This usually depends on severity of your addiction but it was great, Believe me you’ll experience life as a new born. Also your body will ache for a real person not some damn pixels anymore, All your weird fetishes and fantasies would go away with time, feels great bro, I’m sure you’ll feel it too, just hang in there.”
My 285 days streak was one life changer . I had battled every other type of mood and emotion every other day . That short period of 3 - 4 months is raw , especially if you are getting up from a severe loop . I even used to question my deeds which made me felt like shit , I felt horrible sometimes . Anxiety , little ring of fear , uneasiness etc . But who you come out as after all of this is worth all of it . A stable life , control over yourself , real happiness . Far more mentally stronger and to a large extent control over your emotions . The freedom beats it all . You start to live the life as you are supposed to , even better than many .
For me , it opened infinite doors of discovering the real me , realizing my potential and what I can use true wisdom for . What seperates me from the fake world and people of my age around me . Its beautiful . No attachments to fake things , nothing to bind you . Its just about getting there , once you pass it , you become a new person .
Sadly , I lost my track since the very beginning of this year and ended up falling in the loophole , for long time I was struck by the unconsciousness of my actions and its results . It took me time to see everything again , I had forgotten the reason why I started this . I still remember that feeling I had after all that hardwork . It will always be with me .
Now I have set out with a goal to achieve even bigger and make it last forever . Leaving everything apart , I enjoy the struggles and new experiences it gives me every time . It truly takes you places ahead if you learn from every bit . And in the end , all those moments of struggles will turn into a beautiful memory that you would wear as pride .
Felt some of these things like better control over thoughts, the time and energy to build yourself. And the awkwardness among girls has almost vanished. It does feel like girls may have felt some confidence in me. But yeah, the main purpose for me is not girls. Since it’s a no brainer all this attraction to better men is a result of hypergamy.