1.5 fucking years trying to quit this shit of an addiction and I have not even passed 20 days without failing and relapsing a million times! This is ridiculous! Its literally impossible I tried ever strategy there is and nothing… nothing works. Unless maybe if you get a girlfriend/marry this shit is insanely hard. You get to a point were there is so much energy that you cannot let out whatever you do! Share your thoughts if you think the same or not.
I was the same way man. I couldn’t even make it to a week for a period of 6 months. What helped (for me) was working out everyday. You have to focus all of that accumulated energy into something like running or working out every single morning. You also have to want it for yourself more than anything. Because what I was doing was half assing no fap. I went into the challenge with an attitude of, “eh it’s not that bad if I relapse, it’s whatever .” But this was the death of me. With that mindset it was impossible for me to get anywhere because I didn’t think of it as a big deal. I wasn’t taking it seriously. After my last relapse (14 days ago) I decided that I was going to commit to it and really try, no matter how hard it gets. I even said that if I relapse one more time, I will quit boxing (my passion). And yes I am still following that fully. If I relapse I will never touch boxing gloves ever again. But these are just things that I have found to work best for me. Hopefully I helped a little bit!
Disclaimer: This is not to discourage anybody, this is my personal opinion and am being truthfull.
Its true excercise does decrease the urge and drain some energy. I used to do daily push ups at home and I tried going to the gym daily but it all feels like its delaying the inevitable! Like deep down I know that I will relapse once I miss a day or get triggered by a picture on the internet (which is basically unavoidable). So it feels like a lost fight in the end. In short words: We will keep relapsing.
I believe in the law of attraction so if you’re focusing your energy on relapsing, you’re inevitable to relapse. So what you’re saying makes sense.
I agree with rezboy and in my case I made an accounting partner which was close to me …and also sorry if you think that 20 days accumulated energy is too much to handle then actually you don’t know the energy the guys with 2000 days have …think of it…and when you ready start with full motivation …and also anytime if you feel you can’t handle anymore you can talk to any of your companions or even can talk to me…I am not master but I surely will help you…think big broo
I always think of the people who made it.
The goal is to make progress in every area of your life and become a better person.
With all due respect, this sounds dangerous. Boxing is probably helps you to stay on the good path. I’d considering giving up the internet for a half year or something like that instead.
edit: or giving up boxing for a half year, but not for a lifetime. (And of course continuing some kind of exercise)
Try reading DAILY all about the benefits of noFap it should help
And to be honest, I think that you are thinking you can get this under control when you are older/married, but trust me that is the BIGGEST lie you can tell yourself
If you can’t stop it now, you can never stop it later
Fortunately you’re not married yet and are(I think) still young so you can change…I think of this too
Act now or swim later
You need to train or work for a purpose, to become the best or to become a world champion, with this target set and knowing a relapse will erase everything, you can fight through.
I’ll be boxing world champion, but I’m distracted by imagination of naked girls around me, begging me to bang them all, this shit leads me straight to porn and there I meet devil. This means I turn my back to my dream and God. Fuck that man, I don’t want to do it again, it’s ridiculous and pathetic to turn my back for what I’m destined, and I’m destined to become champion of the world.
We need to become hard dicks again, we are men, we are 1’s and not 0’s, 1’s are men and 0’s are women, let’s be 1’s forever, because this is what God created us to stand like 1’s. To be hard and strong, let’s leave complaints to women, it’s their job to complain after all.
It’s alright @Adioz, I said it for everyone and I understand your point. What I’m saying is, enough is enough, I’m calling the hall of famers here @Forerunner, @Special_Bird, @Martial_Beast, and others who had long streaks, guys you need to regain your streaks and be champions here ones again, this app was created to recover from this problem,not to circle around same shit and come back here to feel sorry for ourselves and hopefully we will receive some consolation, no man, this app was created to to kill this addiction and to have role models around here. Enough is enough.
No. Even then it is as hard as before. You have to do s**ual fasting before a healthy relationship. Otherwise, relationship will not help and p addiction will ruin that too. Many people are living proof of this. Either you will hide from your partner or you will be tired of shame after reporting to her. So, getting normal BEFORE real s*x life is the single best option. Otherwise, the problem becomes even worse.
Btw, it is POSSIBLE. I am saying this because I did it in past. I was recovered to the point that I knew where the p videos were on a laptop of my friend and I even saw the name of that video a bit and I was sleeping alone in my room with that laptop and I just did not want to relapse. This is called recovery. I know how I fell down to this pit again and I will be much stronger after recovering this time. No more of this shit. #NofapForever
I 100% understand where you are coming from. But, I truly believe that I thrive under pressure. So what better way to do this than setting a challenge as big as this. My mindset is, if I can’t overcome P.M.O. then I have no chance to become the best boxer that I can be. I need to take myself seriously because I do wan’t to be the best boxer this world has ever seen. If I didn’t have this constant pressure, then I would not have the same drive that I have today. I guess I’m different when it comes to what keeps me going. Thank you for your concerns though!
As a married man, this is my opinion.
I also have a support group consisting mostly of married men and we have talked about this and generally agree.
Getting married doesn’t make addiction go away.
Yes, it can help. It “solved my problem” for three months. Pornography and masturbation addiction are not the same as marital intimacy. One does not replace the other. Being married does help in ways, in can also make things more difficult.
Addiction does not come or go based on circumstances. You can’t change what is around you to quit. YOU are addicted so YOU have to CHANGE.
I understand that it is hard. I’ve been fighting this for almost 14 years. But, giving up won’t help. Just keep fighting, one day at time.
Best of luck on your journey.
@Mazerunner Enough is indeed enough, brother. None of us needs consolation or sympathy, we need victory. It’s time to succeed at this once and for all. How can others have hope if they see people on higher streaks falling back into the same pit they’re trying to escape?
As @keepFighting and others said very well, a wife/girlfriend isn’t the answer. Millions of people are in relationships and still struggling to leave PMO behind.
I have been speaking to people who have successfully left PMO behind. People with 500+ days, 800+ days and one with 20+ YEARS.
The advice I have gathered is this:
We have to always remember the pain of relapsing. We must associate PMO with all the things it has taken from us, and enjoy freedom from it more than anything. We have to remind ourselves of that every day, and every time urges come.
We have to work on self-improvement. If our lives don’t change, we will continue to relapse. Everyday we have to take actions that improve our lives and make us happier and more content. Happy people don’t relapse.
We have to make use of our sexual energy. It must be used, or it will use us. So many of us relapse because when we get urges we sit there trying to ignore it. We have to get up and take action. Any productive action - going for a walk or run, exercise, cleaning the house, reading a book, speaking to someone, preparing a meal, anything but not sitting there and allowing the relapse to happen.
We have to change our mindset. We have to develop the mindset that under no circumstances will we ever masturbate or watch pornography again. Regardless of what happens in our lives, we must remain committed to that idea. That a life of freedom is the best decision and we will not do anything to change it.
Along with everything, we need to guard and protect what we allow ourselves to see. If we are looking at and consuming everything that comes into vision, we will absorb things that are sexual and pornographic, and these thoughts drag us back to PMO. If something sexual comes our way, we must turn away and remember what we truly want.
These people I spoke to, none of them even had an AP. They did it alone. They come online to share their advice and story to motivate others, and community reminds them of their commitment to lifelong change.
If we follow that advice everyday without fail, we will succeed.
The only failure is in not following the advice.
You identified the issue right here - the relapse happens if you miss a day of self-improvement and productive habits.
We have to remember that an addiction, no matter how negative and self-destructive, is still a form of habit. This is a habit we have been doing for YEARS, decades even. 20 days of good habits isn’t enough to undo that. If we let our guard down, it’s far too easy for the old programming to step in and take over. 50% of what we do on a daily basis is entirely habitual with no real conscious thought, and PMO has become part of that program. There is about a 5-20 second gap of consciousness where we can choose whether to give into the urge or to do something productive and healthy with our sexual energy. Otherwise, we are right back at square one again.
So absolutely, we are free as long as we continue to be productive and committed. And with time, that way of life becomes a new habit and replaces the old one. When I relapsed after 250 days, it took me about 40 days of low productivity and poor habits to get back to Day Zero. One day wasn’t enough to do it. The relapse was coming because I stopped being productive around day 210. With time, we will notice when we’re falling back into old patterns and get back on track before slips and relapses happen.
Never lose hope brother. We truly can change our habits, one day at a time.
You are definitely right brother. Like @Forerunner was saying also, this isn’t a time for us high-streakers to sit and sulk in our failure. We’ve done it before, and we can do it again. And it’s about time we truly escape this, and stop avoiding the responsibility of our actions.
To bear the responsibility that comes with being mindful, truly seeking to understand ourselves and make ourselves better people, that’s what being on this forum is truly about in my opinion. I’ve wasted too much time hiding my personal burdens and duties behind this addiction and in the meaninglessness that comes with not taking care of myself. I want to live a better life and I want to be a better person for myself, my family, and my community (you guys).
The only thing hindering that is my unwillingness to bear the responsibility of change, learning to change. If I’m not willing to learn, then I will never be greater than I was yesterday.
Upwards and onwards guys
I also think it’s impossible. We are unlucky to have a life like this.
Look at the positive instead of the negatives man
Ok. I will definitely look at the positive
Just a small tip I thought of mentioning cause no one has yet
You’ll are all thinking of not fapping temporarily
Recently I changed my mindset from, “I’ll not fap for so and so time” to "I’ll not fap. peroid."
I am moving from a not-right-now-I’m-on-a-streak fapper to a no fapper.
My argument when urges come are not “I’m on a streak”. It’s “Bruh I’m thinking about fapper stuff but I’m a noFapper now so no time for that dumb stuff what am I thinking?”